to be angry with those parents who have let down their overweight dc

[frumplump]

Overweight parents who allow their own issues to destroy their own dc's good health, what are they thinking?

I overheard a heartbreaking conversation in a shop where an awkwardly fat teenage shop assistant was dispairing at how she was wasting the best years of her life because she had not learned to eat healthily from her parents.

She was saying she had low self esteem and wanted to lose weight desperately. Teenage girls have a difficult time at the best of times, it's just plain cruelty for her parents to have allowed her to become so unhealthily big. She found walking difficult ffs! They say parents will outlive their children. What's going on? How can parents be so cruel?

oh yes - I can get to those so easily . No free courts found in my area (not that was a new piece of information for me - I have a friend at church whose DS plays tennis for the county and just a few weeks ago she was talking about the cost of it all, and how little chance there was for people to take it up)

and what is mean? I welcome her after I realised she was new didn't I?

But she's hardly listened to the views of others on the thread.

This thread is heading into sausage roll territory for Sunday night entertainment better stop now!

its addictive

It is polite to say thank you - sorry I bothered you really are rude how the fark should I know where you live....

well obviously you think I'm so thick that I'd be posting about a lack of free tennis without having researched myself in the past.

and as for how would you know where I lived - look on my profile

I was trying to help - I am not going out of my way to do everything for you and look at your profile - your being rude and mean...

I think that if we sneer and point, less obese people will have the courage to leave their houses. We need to be kind and understanding.
It seems fine to be fatist in this society, but I think we need to stop ridiculing them or jumping to conclusions.
I can think of two very overweight older mums I know- both professional and middle class as a matter of fact- and they are great mums and good people. and as a matter of fact, I am quite sure I eat more than both of them!
I actually worry more about those that froth at the mouth and curl their lips at fat people. They obviously have issues.

I think that Hecate has made the most valuable contribution to this thread because it is from the DCs point of view-it shows how it wastes a young life and badly affects adult life-anyone who has an overweight DC should get help and put the DC before any thought of interference by authority figures or their own lack of self esteem.
Hopefully Hecate will get her weight down to a level that she is happy with and will have a great future, but sadly she can't get her childhood, teen years or early adulthood back-they were stolen by the person who should have kept her healthy.

Great and very moving post Hecate.

Another thing that doesn't seem to have been mentioned on here is that so-called diet foods, low fat foods I mean, may well be contributing to the rise in obesity because they are so overloaded with refined carbs in an attempt to make them palatable. Excessive carbs in a diet will get turned into fat in the body, to say nothing of increasing the risks of insulin resistance and thence Type II diabetes, with all its associations of heart disease etc.

Obesity may not be the only indicator or cause for diseases like cancer, type II diabetes, heart disease etc. - but it is the number one causal factor for the latter two, and is heavily implicated in some types of the first mentioned.

My sister was very overweight. I was not (then anyway!). We ate the same food. It certainly wasn't your standard unhealthy fare but homecooked food in moderate portions.

I think the reason was just that she liked reading and I liked dancing & standing on my head. How is that my mother's fault?

And the end result was that all that reading got her into Oxford, whereas my standing on my head led to a less stellar university career.

Maybe we need to be a bit more measured in our application of the fat=failure equation, convenient though it is for making thin people feel superior.

i just ate bananas in chocolate sauce - oooh

Nasty sleepycat, just nasty and plain ignorant too.
As a child I remember periods of my weight not being mentioned and plenty of cakes etc and then my family would turn on me and try and get me to lose weight all of a sudden. My Nan used to offer to pay me a £1 for every pound I lost but always have freshly made cakes for when I arrived! I remember being very confused by the conflicting messages.
Even now, my Mum never mentions my weight because she doesn't want a row but it was always done in such a confrontational unsupportive way as a child that I learned to be ultra defensive.
One time I had eaten my dinner and I said I wanted another chop and my Nan gave me hers from her plate! I was only about 8. To me though, this felt like love.
Looking back, people just didn't say No to me.

Help for parents to learn to how to be parents. Genuine support not judgement, perhaps through compulsory health visiting and any children at obvious risk of obesity receiving extra support, not just in terms of weight but parenting in general.
I think the first step is raising the esteem of these children and helping them find interests outside of food.
I saw a psychiatrist at 16 and he said I just needed an outlet. I still haven't got one now. I would love to learn to play the guitar or piano or take up salsa dancing but it is confidence and again, motivation.
Its not an easy problem to tackle in any way shape or form!

Sleepycat - I notice you are only 30. It is easy to be thin up to the age of 30. The changes in your metabolism between 30 and 45 will make it less easy going forward. I do hope pride doesn't come before a fall

what's up with you tonight Ivy? Not usually this quick to get upset

Riven "I thought it wasn't about obese or overwieght adults, but children"

look at the first line of the OP.......

Not upset just suprised at you you came across as mean sprited and I don't see you in that way usually. Come back nice FAQ and get ride of the bogus one...

I think schools have done a lot in including two hours of pe in the school week.

I like rivens idea of a village approach - how does this work? Adults taking children out for sport at weekends - I would love to see cycling clubs for children (as some of you know I love cycling) I would be happy to take others peoples dc out cycling off road etc - but I would have to jump through hoops to be able to do so (even though I have a crb check) So i just take dd out.

If anyone is interested there are cycling clubs that will take children out - only some though as they have to put a couplke of adults through training and hoops to do so. I know that bikes cost money but once you have made the initial poutlay it does get cheaper.

well the OP hasn't exactly been nice, it was her first post on MN (I later discovered) and her comments today about her "fun" "healthy" "free" "family" activities did rather seem like a kick in the teeth for those of us that have been sat on our arses all day