To think this country is sooooo un-child friendly

[imanidiot]

That's it really.

Wherever you go with kids it seems like they get scorned, frowned at or told to be quiet.

I.e. in a well known noodles restaurant, beginning with a W....and DD was in the entrance foyer. She was playing with a relative (a grown up) when a man who worked there told her to shhhhh. (she was not in anyones way and away from the diners) He was making fruit juices with an industrial juice maker FGS - which was way more noisy and the place was full of toddlers!

I cant stand this country's unfriendliness towards children. I get that overly noisy children shouting or running around is annoying, I understand that is annoying in restaurants, I take DD out or bring lots of books and crayons to keep her distracted, but please!

I feel like complaining! I guess it's just when someone tells your child off

oh God really?

I have never understood parents who think it is important to explain in detail why they are asking a child to do something or admonishing them.

I think that shhh is the gentlest, nicest way to put it and instantly understood by a small DC-I wouldn't call it 'telling off'. I really don't think that a small DC needs to know that the man might have a headache-I don't expect he did! If I was the waiter and anastasia was talking in such a patronising way I would have to bite back a very rude comment!

Why teach your child such a passive-aggressive response? And then we wonder why....fgs!

I was brought up to believe in "it takes a village to raise a child" and as an adult I have in the past told other people's children off (usually for doing dangerous things).

I have now stopped because a parent went totally nuts at me in Sainsbury's. Her sons (aged probably 5& 7 were climbing (and I mean properly climbing) on the 7 foot high metal shelving in the toy aisle. No parent anywhere to be seen.

One of them was head height with me when I politely asked him if he thought his Mummy would be happy to find him up there. He got down. His Mother then came round the corner and laid into my for daring to speak to her precious son, who did I think I was yadda yadda yadda. It was excrutiatingly embarrasing.

Next time I'd leave them to fall on their heads.

I see now why I found anastasia's response so offensive-you are right-it is passive aggressive and should be avoided-it would certainly bring out the worst in me!

Erm if my child was climbing or doing something dangerous and I wasn't there I would definately say something - I've said something in the past. But I don't think that's telling off to be honest - that's not wanting a chld to get hurt.

That should read I would want someone to say something....

I agree that the UK is very un child friendly and it is a huge shame.

I don't agree though that it is wrong for an adult to tell off a child and that they should ask the adult with the child to do this instead. However, there are acceptable ways to tell off a child and unacceptable ways - I can't judge if this man did the telling off in a reasonable way or not but I don't think he is automatically in the wrong for doing it.

It can be quite funny. My brother once held a bonfire party, he got the next door farmer to agree to have it in the corner of his field and he invited friends, neighbours and family. One set of friends had fairly obnoxious DCs because they never said 'no' to them. Several adults had either said something to the DCs or muttered about them. They then started to take straw out of the bales we were sitting on and threw it around. A woman told them, quite firmly, to stop it and why -where upon the mother came striding across, very belligerent, as in 'leave them alone-what is it to you anyway'. The woman was able to say that she was the farmer, they were guests on her land and the straw bales belonged to her and she wanted them back in the same condition. It was lovely-the mother had to take it, or leave with her DCs before the food and fireworks. I think we all secretly cheered! The DCs were as good as gold for the rest of the evening.

Alurkerspeaks

What a cow (not you, the other lady).

But I suppose that is to do with parenting though, isn't it (or lack thereof in some cases).

Some parents are happy to let anyone and everyone tell their kids off or look after them. Some wouldn't.

I would be mortified if my child was doing any of the above mentioned things (in pisces or allurker's post). I guess in my situ, as I have said earlier, you would have had to have been there to understand what I meant.

An example, I was at a outdoor pool recently and my DD was splashing around, but it was getting another little child nearby. The childs gran was nearby and telling my DD to stop splashing as it was getting the baby wet. I understood. I too told my DD to stop, or rather I told her, but being a toddler and in water, I realised it was probably better to move her away So I am not against it. Just this guy, got my back up.

I think it depends how you say it, alurkerspeaks put it in such a kindly way you would expect the parent to back her up!
I would just have said 'no, mummy isn't at all happy-please get down, now'and thanked ALS.

Hey pisces
I would have backed her up too there - I mean it's for the safety of the child! There was nothing nasty in that.

I think it really boils down to the way people tell DCs off-if it is done nicely I think it is a good thing but not if it is done rudely. Shhh is fairly harmless.