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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To think this country is sooooo un-child friendly

139 replies

imanidiot · 27/06/2009 14:37

That's it really.

Wherever you go with kids it seems like they get scorned, frowned at or told to be quiet.

I.e. in a well known noodles restaurant, beginning with a W....and DD was in the entrance foyer. She was playing with a relative (a grown up) when a man who worked there told her to shhhhh. (she was not in anyones way and away from the diners) He was making fruit juices with an industrial juice maker FGS - which was way more noisy and the place was full of toddlers!

I cant stand this country's unfriendliness towards children. I get that overly noisy children shouting or running around is annoying, I understand that is annoying in restaurants, I take DD out or bring lots of books and crayons to keep her distracted, but please!

I feel like complaining! I guess it's just when someone tells your child off

OP posts:
sweetfall · 27/06/2009 16:05

it would be far more understandable yes

Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:06

Duchesse are you saying that I am breeding a little monster?

OP posts:
sweetfall · 27/06/2009 16:08

I do think that all these countries that people quote as being 'far friendlier with children' have parents who believe in the village to raise a child concept.

You have waiters whisking your children off to the kitchens or to dance. You have ticklers and gigglers and admonishers and that's all part of the mediterranean ideal. You come back from your holiday thinking how lovely those countries are .. but then you go back to your cold, island style raising of your own child(ren) - don't talk to my child, don't admonish my child, don't shh my child

I loved it when the old woman in the supermarket told my child to stop screeching because he did.

I love it when adults bother to tell my child to be careful or to stop that because I don't have to

Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:09

Because in fact I agree with what you are saying.

I do not agree with another adult telling my child off in the presence of someone who is responsible for her. I mean they should have spoken to the adult accompanying. By all means I do not wish for my child to feel she is above the law, or that she can do whatever and not get into trouble. That is not the case.

OP posts:
sweetfall · 27/06/2009 16:10

You can't have it both ways though .. either a village to raise a child or a 'don't go there / don't you ever dare talk to my child' approach. They're mutually exclusive.

Morloth · 27/06/2009 16:12

Agree that part of the European "Great for Kids" thing is that all of the adults present will take on some of the responsibility, and I am afraid that also means sometimes telling them off.

Screeching kids drive me up a feckin' wall. I don't mind yelling, or excited talking or crying - but shreeking - gah.

itwasntme · 27/06/2009 16:14

YANBU

UK is not child friendly at all.

This is most noticeable when you see how lovely people are to children in other countries.

I think it's really sad.

Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:14

Do you know what, I'm too thick to understand this. I'm just saying that I didn't like this man telling my child to shhhh. THat's it. I was present. Uneccessary. My job. I'm the mum.

Yes I am a parent of one child.

But I am so unintelligent and morally debased that I am wrong. I'm off now to give my daughter fruit shoots, haribo and pepperami for tea. She'll be in bed by 11, up at 12 tomorrow, where I will give her turkey twizzlers and coke for breakfast. She will tell the neighbours to "f off you w*nker" and then fade into a life of moral degeneration, pregnant at 10, on benefits by 16, 7 children by 20, all because I didn't like her being told off by someone else when I was there.

My IQ is 10.

OP posts:
Thunderduck · 27/06/2009 16:15

I agree Morloth. On all counts, though I'm not very fond of yelling.

Shrieking is unbearable, it's an awful noise and completely unnecessary unless there's vast quantities of blood involved.

Bucharest · 27/06/2009 16:15

But they won't jointly take responsibility- they'll jointly tacitly approve of any child running amok in a restaurant, and believe me, if anyone does step in, they'll get the same 4 letter tirade as the oik in the cinema, although it may come from a more suntanned mouth.

I'd love also to see the reaction of a lot of Brits in the UK should waiters suddenly start taking toddlers off to kitchens....."call the police, dirty paedo"

sweetfall · 27/06/2009 16:16

ROFL

alternatively you could use the phrase "Oh I was wrong"

much shorter

pointydog · 27/06/2009 16:18

I've only got as far as the email of complaint which just sounds barmy.

giantkatestacks · 27/06/2009 16:19

I wouldnt mind another adult telling my child to shh in a restaurant tbh - and especially if I wasnt right next to them and some indulgent other relative was there who wasnt seen to be shhing...

I dont think it is that unfriendly as well - depends on the context doesnt it. During the day wandering around in the 'burbs where I live people are very friendly to me and my dcs - if I took them upto town on a commuter train and to the theatre and a posh restaurant probably not...

Was the waiter British btw? Not that you could tell where he was from but I agree with other people who say you are far more likely to get involvement - both entertaining and admonishing - abroad and you cant have one without the other...

Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:20

I know, I'm laughing now.

I will be less - to use the words of expat "whiny" from here on in.

However, don't expect me to be a beacon of village loveness if someone tells dd off!!!! That's just me.

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 27/06/2009 16:22

I agree with sweetfall.

And Thunderduck. I can't be doing with the shrieking.

I am however loving the over reaction to being thought unreasonable

Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:23

I'm saying I must have been wrong people. I get what you're saying!

I'm not barmy thanks pointy!

Thanks for your opinions. Mumnset I love you!

OP posts:
Bucharest · 27/06/2009 16:23

Actually, to go back to OP, I'd be so mortified if someone else felt the need to tell my child off in my presence, I'd probably slink off home without my noodles!

Nancy66 · 27/06/2009 16:24

I think the OP has been very tolerant and good natured considering the bashing she is getting!

It does rather sound as if the waiter hissed 'shhh' the second they stepped in the restaurant, which isn't very welcoming.

Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:25

I'm off to read The Daily Sport now. It's really good you know!

My daughter is sticking her head out the window throwing bricks at the neighbours and shouting "fffffinnnnnnnnn w*nker"

OP posts:
Original poster
imanidiot · 27/06/2009 16:26

And I am by her side saying "babes, don't say wnker, say c*t"

OP posts:
TheFallenMadonna · 27/06/2009 16:28

'babes' - nice touch

Bucharest · 27/06/2009 16:35
Grin
megapixels · 27/06/2009 16:51

I wouldn't mind an adult asking one of my kids to shhh. Nothing wrong with that in my eyes. However I do think that in the UK children are treated as if they are another species entirely rather than small people. I don't get the need for child-free places (hotels, restaurants etc.), don't know why people have such a problem with other people's children around them (your own you can of course choose not to take with you), it's not like you have to take care of them.

piscesmoon · 27/06/2009 16:59

I agree with sweetfall-you can't have it both ways! There have been 2 threads very recently-I will find them if I can in AIBU and they both started with how dreadful it was to have strangers touching my baby. Strangers are supposed to keep their distance-no way are they allowed to touch a foot or stroke a hand. Even extended family and friends shouldn't pick up my baby! This was the general view, despite those of us who said that people are much happier with DCs in different countries where parents are more relaxed.
Then we get onto the threads where 'no one is allowed to tell my DC off. There are even DCs who say 'you can't tell me off you are not my mummy' and they believe this!
If the British are to be friendly to DCs they need to know that they can talk to them and that they are able to stop them if the behaviour is bad.
I don't think that anyone can be expected to be friendly to a DC that parents won't say 'no' to, and is a pain- or be frightened to even talk to in a friendly way.
It takes a village to raise a DC and you have to let the village get involved and relax a bit.

piscesmoon · 27/06/2009 17:02

'You have waiters whisking your children off to the kitchens or to dance. You have ticklers and gigglers and admonishers and that's all part of the mediterranean ideal. You come back from your holiday thinking how lovely those countries are .. but then you go back to your cold, island style raising of your own child(ren) - don't talk to my child, don't admonish my child, don't shh my child '

Exactly. My DCs have been whisked off to the kitchen by waiters. If you are going to have apoplexy at this then you can't moan about British restaurants!