ok...will try this again, aibu to be put off a school by the amount of children with SN?

[daftpunk]

posted this in education, (Pre-school, like the twit that i am).....my ds is due to start secondary school in 2 years so we're looking around already, i am a bit put off by a school with lots of SN children, as SN also means behaviour problems....i'm not sure if i am being unreasonable.

DH is coming to his first year in a special school. He went to the yr 11's Leavers Dinner and got big hugs from 2 boys. Would that happen from 'mainstream' students? He has had the most wonderful year with some delightful challenging children. It has lit him up. Any class would benefit from some of the pupils he has met.

Thing is here-

in ds1's fiorst school there were no children with SN when he entered.

That's because the school didn't klike SN kids so didn't acknowledge them and didn't enter them on the register of SN

Same kids in juniors have quitea high rate of SN, becuase finally the kids ahve been picked up, their SN addressed and theya re getting help

Number on ofsted reports means nowt

I am very at the comments that behavioural problems are not SEN. I work with children who are either already statementes for EBD (Emotional, Behavioural Difficulties) or who are referred to us for help.

These children DO have SEN (for whatever reason - sometimes linked to ASD, sometimes due to attachment disorders, dreadful life-experiences, etc) and they need special support to cope in mainstream school.

Orm I remember after doing some work at E school at college visitng the cinema to see one of the class of nine year olds rnning towards me with a grin and a hug.

That was 21 years ago and it still makes me smile. Lovely kids.

Anyione who has met my ds3 will vouch for his loveliness, and ds1 when he is able. Not a problem child at all ds3. Quite the reverse- indeed we had a problem getting him into SNU as Infants didn't want to let go.

Big tilly I think they can be SN / SEN

The process as far as I am aware is that if there is an issue affecting their education, then it isa ddressed with an IEP etc, the child is placed on SA and then put on SN register at the LEA.

Behavioural issues would trigger that as well as diagnosed SN I think.

However, SN does not in reverse mean behavioural issues., and behavioural issues might be SEN in the leagal term sense but maybe not in the medical IYSWIM?

daftpunk when you say this:

"rhubarb.....don't know whether to laugh or cry at your post....but i agree, i know alot about certain subjects.....maybe i don't think before i post, maybe i'm just impulsive?.....i'm not trying to be anything on here, have had the oppotunity to be in a few "in crowds"...but not really my style....

i have been shocked at some of the replies on here, not sure why (i should be used to them)... but hey,...no one owes me anything, i don't owe anyone anything."

after your history in the past, and indeed just on this thread (which would be enough) it sounds so very disingenuous. In my opinion people who say things in the gruff, offensive way that the OP and your subsequent posts were written in, do it as a means of gaining some kind of respect. As in, you are making a statement that you are a bit above it all, or showing you do not bow to being PC.

The truth is saying awful offensive things gains no one respect. And as you can see we all have a lot more respect for those who can put their views across in a less contentious way. This isnt the same thing as not speaking up about how you feel. Most MNers have said something at least relatively controversial or thought provoking at one point or another. Insulting a huge proportion of our children is not going to make you look like a very balanced person. In fact, as you have probably seen from the replies to your OP it wasnt a terribly logical or well thought out issue, so it makes you look rather less than thoughtful.

I dont know if I am coming across as if I am trying to kick you while you are down. I really am not and I hope that if I am in any way recognisable on this forum people will know I do not as a rule say negative things to people personally. But you seem baffled by the response you have. That leaves me to think you are indeed being disingenuous i.e. a shit stirrer and someone who wants to hurt others, or a coward who cant take the heat when they have said an awful thing and wont just say I'M SORRY, or you really do not understand. In which case I am sorry for you and want to try to explain the viewpoint of someone who has been hurt by your post.

Tilly, I've worked in both the primary and secondary sector and I disagree with you.

The only behavioural issues these children have, are social skills related. Some of them find it hard to share, or accept rules, or parcipate in a conversation. And as I said, if they are disruptive, they have a TA with them whose job it is, to differentiate the lessons and to keep their behaviour in line.

Whereas the NT kids do not have that priviledge. I lost count of the number of times I was sworn at, threatened, my own children threatened, remarks were made about my dd (7 at that time) that were sexual in tone, AND my then 4yo ds. TAs cars were damaged and a couple of them assaulted. Not one of these incidents involved a child with SN.

DP - then apologise? There are people here you've upset and hurt, now that you've created this, are you just going to walk away?

I see your point bigTillyMint. Point I think most posters are making is to dp that children without SEN can still behave horribly and it is more sensible to focus on what behavioural issues a school has than on how many pupils are SEN statemented.

I think there is a lot of generalisation and anecdotal evidence on this thread.

Rhubarb were you a teacher?

Hi daftpunk,
I really worry when I read posts like this one. This is the type of thinking that creates bullies at school.

My son has SN, he is a wonderful little boy, very confident, sociable. I would absolutely mortied if he changed just because he doesn't feel accepted.

I would like to think that when he starts school this september, other parents would have tried to educate thier children about special needs and acceptance of differences.

It will do your son a world of good to be with other children that exprience difficulties.

As the Mother of a SN child your title and OP alone has made me want to cry so I am unable to read fully or respond with anything useful on this thread.

What a horrid thread, I can only assume that DP posted to get a reaction because no-one can be that ignorant.

So did you not get the reaction you wanted from your first thread? Hence why you re-posted.

Squid, I was a Learning Support Assistant at the Secondary. I was a teacher in France. I'm a SN TA now.

No Fio, a child with SN has a statement. A child who has behavioural difficulties does not. A statemented child is automatically allocated a TA, a child with behavioural difficulties is not.

For instance, if you had a child who constantly pushed other children, hit them, stole their lunches and swore at teachers, there would be a mtg about that child and a target report drawn up with guidelines on dealing with that behaviour. But they will not get a TA unless they have a statement.

My ds has a diagnosis and an IEP but no statement - he's still counted as a SN child and we still have meetings with the SENCO etc

DP you are being v v v unreasonable! If your children grow up to be as predjudiced and ignorant as you are then i feel very sorry for them!!!!

sunfleurs - I feel the same as you, but I think that is what the OP wanted - I hope she is happy!

A guide to statementing is here

this is not about predjudice... what are you on about? are people who send their dc to private school prejudiced?

there are no more SN kids in classes now than there were when we were all at school - only difference is that they are more easily diagnosed and catered towards.

Daftpunk, Can you highlight your concerns with regards to a high percentage of SEN/SN. What do you think this will mean for your DS?

rhubarb, not all children with a statement get 1-1 TA. depends what the statement actually says. it might say 3 hours 1-1. it might say full time 1-1 support and have additional hours incorporated for non-contact (planning/ programming software etc).
to say all statemented children have 1-1 TA support is way off beam.

If someone said their reason for sending a child to private school was because the alternative was a state school full of people they considered the wrong colour then yes that would be prejudice.

If you are that worried about exposing your surely perfectly mannered child to those unsavoury SN kids then home school. But be prepared for the backlash on raising a child who does not understand the world.

Hereidra- ah we have had that too and tbh the person who posted it, that their kid would be the only white person in the class was bending over backwards trying to be realistic.