in being so bloody offended that Channel 4 have aired tonight's Wife Swap

[AdelaideJo]

Please tell me i'm not the only one sick to my stomach at what the Bristol family are putting that 18 month old baby girl through on a daily basis.

I just watched it OD, because of the threads on here.
I don't know how anyone could leave the baby soaking wet through in the cot. Ds would have screamed the house down in discomfort, and hunger by noon.
And the baby was eating crisps from the night before that were on the floor? It's quite unbelievable.
I am 22 and also live in a TINY council flat. But it doesn't take much to save by some money and buy some drawers or a wardrobe as storage to stop the sea of clothing covering the floors.
Did i see a German Shepard puppy on the PC chair at the end? If she found it hard before, that is only going to make things harder?

I've just listened to it online whilst doing craft with dp (multi-tasking ) and I did wober by the end if SS had actually got involved by the programme makers and if that was what had prompted some of the changes inc. re-housing and a "new routine"?

i wish they would do a 6mth after programme

and just go and knock on their door and see what happens

i truely hope that the mum has seen her dreadful ways and is now trying to feed and play with her child as you hope mummys do

as others have said, she can put toast on for herself, and even managed to make a (what looked tasty) chicken casserole for the family she swapped with

so can obv cook

wonder how long ago the programm was filmed and if she is nearly due/had baby yet?

After googling her earlier, I saw on another parenting site that they found her on facebook and were sending her hate mail.

I think it's a bit uncalled for.

It was most likely heavily edited and whilst I think there are elements of truth in her portayal, can we really view C4's interpretation as gospel?!

Yes, her standards may be lower than is acceptable - but hate mail??

Please do posieparker. I think we would all like to hope that Georgina is getting some more love and attention than she seemed to get from her mother on the programme

I have this horrid suspicion that these families are used for good tv () and then abandoned. She did hint that the crew are behind the scenes winding everyone up.

Don't most 18m olds wake up with a wet nappy ? Why is that so shocking !

Leaving a child to lay in its own pee for hours on end is wrong, just plain wrong

Because the dh gave her her breakfast before he left for work, there was a bottle or two of milk left in her cot (or it looked like that) and her mother got up at 1330 - so she would have been in her cot, awake (unless she went back to sleep for a bit) for X number of hours. If the dh changed her before going to work too then she'd have still had her breakfast + however many bottles she drank whilst waiting for her mum to wake up to pee out. If it was that soaked it had gone through her clothes and made the mattress wet too it was probably more than one pee.

She was certainly filmed playing in her cot during the time her mother would normally have been in bed as the swap mother was filmed going in before her official Getting Up time and commented on it.

My 17 mo wakes up with a wet nappy, but not wet pj's, sheets and mattress. The shocking part is that the baby did not just have a wet nappy, it was soaking through and leaking out over the poor things bed and she was left laying in it for hours, while her mum slept.

I think it was the implication that the child was sitting in its cot wide awake for hours on end and had learned to play quietly as no point in shouting for anyone.

That was the bit that got me.

It reminded me of that NSPCC advert which had the same situation I wonder if they did that on purpose - to make it resonate with an image of child abuse which is frequently on the TV.

Certainly made me well up anyway.

it also reminded me of the nspcc adult - i have always wondered how they make that little boy look so sad

and the little girl was so used to playing/lying on her own as she knew no one would come

Katiestar of course nappies are wet when they wake up, but you change it asap, you don't leave them to lie in it all day.

The only way I could see a wake up time of 1:30pm being acceptable was if the family did shift work - so they are awake/asleep/interacting the same number of hours as "normal" people but just doing it at different hours.

Kind of like "student" hours.

Fill the litter tray to overflowing with cat poo and scatter it liberally around the floor? I don't think so ...

Not sure. It's easy for them to leave things to fester, given that they have control over the house.

Say that the child stayed in her cot until 1.30? No, that was in the manual

The manual was on printed paper and was undoubtedly written at least in part by C4.

and she was filmed playing quietly, obviously used to the routine.

Editing. One shot proves what things are like all the time? I don't think so.

Say that the mother spent 6 hours or so on the internet? No, the mother said that.

The producers are trying to paint a picture, and not one from life, but the most shocking one they can.

They will have done hours of interviews and taken the worst bits and built them up to form the most damning picture they could.

i really really don't think Channel 4 would have made an entertainment show out of a situation where there was real abuse.
I suspect there is a lot of manipulation of teh facts and careful editing here.
I think probably baby went to bed late and woke up late .I didn't see any evidence that she wasn't changed shortly after waking up ? on't where

Can I just encourage anyone on here who can to sign up here homestart - some people really don't know how to prioritise their childs needs over their own, and a small act of faith can make such a difference to someone who's struggling.

A few hours a week, and you have no idea, you could be preventing a couple of generations worth of neglect or worse, just by supporting someone when they really need it.

Snigger -would someone who was neglecting or abusing their children call in Homestart ?

SomeGuy, do you know for sure that the programme makers would stop the cat litter tray from being cleaned out for days and days? Or write the manual/part of the manual themselves? One shot of the child playing quietly by herself doesn't prove it's like that all the time but she was playing quietly with a soaking wet nappy, clothes and down to the mattress as the swap wife commented on it - that does indicate it was something that occurred reasonably often. If she didn't usually play quietly and screamed for attention/because she had a wet nappy then how come the mother got to stay in bed until 1330 each day?

Of course it's edited but editing and faking scenes for 'entertainment' are different and on the US Wife Swap there is a disclaimer right at the start that some scenes are generated for entertainment; there isn't that with the UK one. With this series there doesn't seem to be the Aftermath show but with previous series there have been and nobody has said a lot of it was made up by C4, nor has there been post-show feedback to say that either.

Whilst I fully realise C4 were out to make an entertainment show, to get people watching it, talking about it and hopefully watching the rest of the series, I don't think they'd get away with outright lies.

There are plenty of people who would be deemed neglectful when all that's lacking is direction and support.

No reason not to volunteer - getting involved can inject a positive influence - even a bit of attention can be enough.

From the very slight overview given by a reality tv show, I doubt the woman in question was acting from malice, and there's every possibility she could find some motivation and develop a healthy relationship with her child and be a great mum.

Katiestar - absolutely, people who are neglecting their children are often those that have little or no other support.

They are often not deliberately neglecting their children but are just ignorant of how to best look after them.

For example some people that have spent a lot of time in care and shunted from home to home may never have had the opportunity to develop life skills that are needed to be decent parents. They may really want to be a good parent but not know where to get the right information from.

Homestart can be a godsend.

I've just watched the show after reading this thread and didn't actually find it that bad. Yes there were lots of things the mum could improve on (which hopefully she has!) but I agree with others that the programme had probably been edited to show the worst bits. I look after a little boy who soaks through his nappies if they aren't changed every couple of hours, so the being wet in the morning really doesn't seem that much of an issue to me. I was more concerned with the junk food and lack of exercise/playing/routine. Hopefully she got a good kick up the backside from being on the show and is making more of an effort.

snigger - I've just emailed Homestart for info as I agree with what you said and would like to be able to support in that way

I have not watched the programme....so, shouldn't really comment....BUT....my son has taken part in a programme, and it was edited in a very certain way.....and full of bullshit...so...it would not surprise me if soemthing like this has happened here...because tbh, if things really were that bad, than, I think C4 were neglectful in not reporting it and completely immoral to show it, just for "good" viewing....

YANBU. I don't think C4 should have aired this. I was shocked. I do think that things seem to have chagned for the better.

I hope that the mother gets the support and guidance she needs to give her DC a better life. I am concerned how the family will cope with a new baby without this.

I presumed (possibly wrongly) that the baby went to bed very late so slept until between 11-1. I don't think this is acceptable BTW.

People have actually called Bristol Social services regarding this and apparently, they have been inundated with calls from Bristolians and the rest of the country regarding this and they will be sending someone around to investigate

Lets hope something good comes out of this. I cried so much last night and have taken a long time to calm down!