in being so bloody offended that Channel 4 have aired tonight's Wife Swap

[AdelaideJo]

Please tell me i'm not the only one sick to my stomach at what the Bristol family are putting that 18 month old baby girl through on a daily basis.

PYM

I said the same on the Telly Addicts thread!

i wondered if steve applied as well, the way he looked at her when the other couple suggested she look after him for a change,
and they were so agreeable at the end,or has wife swap changed?
and the other woman doing fostering, sounded like a pat "all lived happily ever after" response.

Hows about a "I saw you on Wife Swap didn't I? Well, to be honest I was shocked at your domestic set up but you seemed to make a lot of changes, how are you getting along now?"

It's clear at the end that the packet of 'crisps for breakfast' bit was scripted by the producers.

i spect the larger woman didnt realise what she was letting herself in for. it is so formatted

Come on people, this is a TV programme, and edited so as to lose all touch with the reality. I mean surprise, surprise our cat litter tray has poo in it sometimes - it happens, that's what it's for. You'd never intentionally leave it for any length of time because it smells too much.

Sure things looked pretty bad, but I bet it's not half as bad as C4 made out.

There were definitely some dodgy edits there. The clothes under the bed shot appeared several times. So did the cat litter. They will have scripted what they wanted to do and have been very pushy to get it (e.g., ensuring cat litter tray wasn't emptied, perhaps even messing it up a bit more).

And the interview at the end would have been cut out of hours of footage just to suit their agenda.

How reality TV editing works: www.youtube.com/watch?v=BBwepkVurCI

I think wifeswap shouldn't show kids. Too often it's more mumswap rather than wife swap as there's very little wifyness going on and more housework and parenting. None of the women seem to work much and if they do they still seem to run round after the kids and husband. Hardly any step families. The ones with older kids are awful as the kids act up for the camera and feel they have to resent any new rules out of support for mum. They'd be better sticking to couples without kids/ whose kids have left and having more normal families rather than extremes of behaviour neat ve messy etc.

I think the kind of Wife Swap that doesn't involve housework and parenting might not be suitable for the 9pm slot.

"I'm glad no-one can see how I live if this is the reaction it gets"

Lewis - only read as far as this comment in the thread. Don't let them get to you, Lucky for those that have had depression and found the where with all to get up and tidy/cook proper meals etc. You and I both know that in the grand scheme of things those types of people are extremely few and far between and also very lucky

"I wonder if those of you who are so quick to defend this woman also spend all day on the internet. "

my computer is on all day - and yes it ou check my posts I post regularly throughout.......my children are niether neglected or unhappy

Just watched this after reading thread. Yes she was lazy and selfish, lost her way and got stuck in a really bad rut/bad habits, but she has accepted her shortcomings, is willing to change and has put those changes into action, that's what separates her from the likes of the baby p type scenario's.

Its not clear from the edit, but it looks like the baby slept in pretty late having gone down late. That child did not strike me as abused or showing indictors of it (not that you can always tell of course, professionals do miss it as we have seen). That woman was selfishly lazy but not nasty or unkind and I think the edit has done her no favours.

I've been in many homes as a social housing manager in the same neighbourhood and believe me this is no where near as bad as things can be. The home might not be to our liking but the child knows and receives love, is not watching her parents off their faces with a load of strangers in the house at all hours or knocking seven shades of crap out of each other.

Most of the people I have come across who dont parent well are that way because its how they were brought up and that's just whats normal to them, but like the woman on the show want to and try to do better. It's the one's that dont give a shit and are in total denial that you need to worry about, she obviously thought she had something to learn or else would not have put herself up for it, so good luck to her.

Now I have watched the show I am shocked at some of the comments on here - thought MN was a more caring community than perhaps it really is. Ivory towers for some perhaps?

It was the ignoring that upset me, not the house, not even the food (neither of which were great, but it is all relative) but the fact that the baby was just ignored for hours on end. She has learned to be easy going because has no other choice.

Not everyone who is lazy and doesn't care is depressed or suffering from a mental illness. Sometimes people really are just lazy.

There is no excuse for ignoring your baby like that, it isn't right and being depressed yourself doesn't make it right.

I cannot believe, that my post was deleted, when other posts and threads on mnet that are far worse and upsetting in their content, have remained

This is the problem with fighting the corner of the child these days - people are too worried about offending the parents

You all must be so proud of yourself for defending someone that allows their child to remain in a urine soaked nappy until gone midday and feeds them crisps

I applaud you all

Noone was defending her puss. At least that's not why your post was deleted. It was a vile thing to say

I still stand by it...you cannot possibly have mothering instincts if you allow your child to lay in bed unchanged and unfed and then do not interact with them all day and instead sit at the PC

Was just saying it like it is

Of course it's edited to make it more 'exciting' (?!) but did the editors:

Fill the litter tray to overflowing with cat poo and scatter it liberally around the floor? I don't think so ...

Say that the child stayed in her cot until 1.30? No, that was in the manual and she was filmed playing quietly, obviously used to the routine. Can her mother have been unaware that she was soaking wet, so wet to have gone through to the mattress? Unless the child had the bladder of an elephant, I should imagine that was a regular occurence if she has breakfast and is then left in her cot until that time with a couple of bottles of milk.

Say that the mother spent 6 hours or so on the internet? No, the mother said that.

Did they mess up the house beforehand? No, the mother said she didn't clean. What, exactly, she was going to do with all the time she was saving by not cleaning was never made clear.

They may have exaggerated the crisps for breakfast into a packet of crisps for breakfast every day but the mother was seen giving crisps for breakfast (and wotsits for tea) and said about it in the manual.

Bone. Idle.

I still stand by it...you cannot possibly have mothering instincts if you allow your child to lay in bed unchanged and unfed and then do not interact with them all day and instead sit at the PC

Do you know, I hate to be defending her but the above statement could well be a description on PND. I'm not saying that is what she had, but saying you have no mothering instincts by acting that way should be true, but in so many cases that just isn't the case

For those who didn't see it all or at all, it's repeated either tonight or tomorrow night at 11pm on C4

I have to watch this before I comment really - I saw the last half but not the beginning when they were setting the scene, as it were.

Between the ages of about 6-11 months, DD would frequently sleep very late, as did I as we often went to bed very late (including dd, who still does) and had been up in the night with her feeding etc. Consequently, we were often to be found both in my bed fast asleep at gone 11am having not been changed or breakfasted. I take it this isn't the sort of thing we are talking about?

Was the baby 18 months old? DD is 17 months and I thought the child was a good bit younger. Might stand to reason if she isn't getting much interaction. Although, I do MN when DD is playing in the room with me but if she so much looks in my direction the lid of the laptop goes down.

And my house is a tip. God I sound awful

OMG - just watching it on catch up - can't begin to say how shocked i am by it. Awful. Poor baby.

Yes, the baby has been very badly neglected. I am amazed at the level of defence for the parents on these two threads. I am very well aware of the level of editorial tweaking that goes on in reality television. Yes, the mother could well be depressed, could have other mental health issues, could have had a similar upbringing, could be genuinely trying to improve. But still the baby was/is neglected.