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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with my husband for missing dd1's 1st Sports Day for a concert?

59 replies

numerouno · 21/06/2009 10:14

Bearing in mind that this band is his favourite ever and he usually sees them 4 times per tour nowadays, the tickets were booked months ago and he has to go up to London with other people.

I'm disappointed that he's chosen to miss dd1's 1st ever school Sports Day so that he can get to Wembley early enough to get a good position.

I think he'll regret it but am I just being over-sentimental? Personally I wouldn't let anything come between me and my daughter's 1st school sports day.

This being my 1st school sports day too I don't know if he'd be "expected" to be there. Do all your partners turn up for sports days, no matter what?

I'm not sure how to approach the subject without making him feel really bad - what would you say?

OP posts:
traceybath · 21/06/2009 10:17

Well he had got the tickets booked in advance of being notified its sports day so i don't think he's being that unreasonable.

We've got sports day on friday and DH will come for an hour but only because he doesn't have meetings.

We also had a picnic at school on friday and i'd say less than 25% of dads were there.

Just make he puts all dates in his diary as early as possible in the future.

pooka · 21/06/2009 10:18

DH definitely does not come to sports days. He is at work and tbh neither dd nor I mind him missing them (this will be her first one because last year's was rained off). I'd prefer him to be available for essentials like parents' evenings than for a sports day or other "social" event.

I don't think he'll regret it. There's always next year (and the subsequent x number of years, they're at school for a long time).

squeaver · 21/06/2009 10:18

My dd had her 1st sports day on Friday and I was surprised by how many dads were there.

I think your dh is being a bit selfish tbh. It's not like it's a once in a lifetime thing for him. And he's only going to get a "good position", it's not like he's going to miss seeing them.

And presumably he's also taking a day off work for this major event is he??

Actually I'd be pretty pissed off, the more I think about it. And I'm afraid I'd just say so.

hocuspontas · 21/06/2009 10:19

Unfortunately we can't force our partners to feel the same way we do. I'm with you I wouldn't miss it for the world and I thik dp tried to make a few of the early 'milestones' but if your dh doesn't feel the same there's not a lot you can do. IME 50% of dads turn up for the first sport day and then trickle away to about 1% by the end of primary. By all means make him feel bad if you want to though!

squeaver · 21/06/2009 10:19

But he's taking a day off work anyway, isn't he?

Can't his mates bag the good position then he can join them later?

SoupDragon · 21/06/2009 10:20

You are being overly sentimental.
He won't regret it.

SomeGuy · 21/06/2009 10:21

Don't they have seats at Wembley? Do you really need to bag a spot?

pooka · 21/06/2009 10:22

BUt presumably the concert tickets were booked some time ago, maybe even before the sports day date was announced?

Even if twas afterwards though, it wouldn't bother me. I would however be irritated if dh missed a parents' evening or meet-the-teacher event or other occasion immediately relevant to dd's education and school life.

hercules1 · 21/06/2009 10:23

Yabu. As long as one of you are at the sports day that's enough. Doesnt need both of you there.

thirdname · 21/06/2009 10:23

ha ha , no, I wouldn't have thought either he would regret it. At least YOU were there, so "what's the problem".

moondog · 21/06/2009 10:23

I'd be more irritaTED AT THE THOGUH OF A DH WHO HAD TO SEE A BAND 4 times every tour.
Wtf?
Doesn't that cost a fortune?

I know someone who has been to see a well known person 50 times.I'd have divorced him by now.

pooka · 21/06/2009 10:23

THough if he couldn't get out of work for such an event, then I wouldn't be that irritated.

thirdname · 21/06/2009 10:24

in 4 years, 2 children I think dh went to 1 parent evening, but again, as long as 1 parent goes...

purepurple · 21/06/2009 10:25

If he missed DD getting a gold at the Olympics then I would be miffed at DH.
But her first sport's day? No.

Original poster
numerouno · 21/06/2009 10:25

Thank you! I think I am being OTT. Maybe I should just chill out...

xxx

OP posts:
janeite · 21/06/2009 10:26

YABU - and rather silly. I have never been to a school sports day.

janeite · 21/06/2009 10:27

Crossed posts, sorry.

squeaver · 21/06/2009 10:27

You know, I'm not one for making a big deal out of these things: I've done school plays and parents evenings on my own. And I don't think the children are that bothered about it being one or both parents.

And, let's face it, sports days aren't exactly the most exciting occasions in the world are they?

BUT in this instance, the dh obviously could go if he wanted as he has got time in the day to do it. The OP would obviously like him to be there. And it wouldn't make that much difference to his plans, so why not go??

Plus, how old is he? 15?

squeaver · 21/06/2009 10:29

Yes moondog, I think that's my point too.

purepurple · 21/06/2009 10:29

By the time your DD is in Year 6, you will be finding excuses not to go to another sport's day. Or summer fete, or Xmas fayre, or school concert, or open day, or school assembly.

moondog · 21/06/2009 10:33

I'm in no way a self sacrificing full on parent but I can't get people who don't want to be with their kids or watch them do stuff.

The concert going bloke i konw also has a football seson ticket, so between these two ,he's never with his kids.

And he wonders why his wife has no time for him.

Kimi · 21/06/2009 10:46

Could he just not go to the concert so early? Is there no way he can do both?

belgo · 21/06/2009 10:56

My dad never ever went to any of my sports days. I do not feel hard done by in the slightest. There's more to being a parent.

Don't understand why he has to see the band four times every tour.

What band is it?

Thunderduck · 21/06/2009 10:58

I think you are being oversentimental and I don't think that he'll regret it.

It's only a sports day and the first but not the last. You'll be there anyway.

Thunderduck · 21/06/2009 10:59

If you tell us who the band are then we can make a truly informed decision.

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