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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be cross with my husband for missing dd1's 1st Sports Day for a concert?

59 replies

numerouno · 21/06/2009 10:14

Bearing in mind that this band is his favourite ever and he usually sees them 4 times per tour nowadays, the tickets were booked months ago and he has to go up to London with other people.

I'm disappointed that he's chosen to miss dd1's 1st ever school Sports Day so that he can get to Wembley early enough to get a good position.

I think he'll regret it but am I just being over-sentimental? Personally I wouldn't let anything come between me and my daughter's 1st school sports day.

This being my 1st school sports day too I don't know if he'd be "expected" to be there. Do all your partners turn up for sports days, no matter what?

I'm not sure how to approach the subject without making him feel really bad - what would you say?

OP posts:
LIZS · 21/06/2009 11:02

yes yabu I'd rather go to a concert than sports day ! dh has missed most due to work and travel. It loses its significance in time.

janeite · 21/06/2009 11:09

Well I must be a very bad mother. DD1 plays the flute and after sitting through one school music concert, I told her I would only go again if there was a bar that I could wait in. Three hours on a plastic chair to see dd for ooh - about three minutes - NOT my idea of a pleasant evening.

Also I realise that I lied earlier. I HAVE been to a sports day - one - when dd2 was in nursery. She was in the jumping race. She did some fantastic jumping and I glowed with pride: unfortunately, she hadn't realised that you were supposed to jump FORWARDS, not on the spot!

catwalker · 21/06/2009 11:15

YABU. My youngest is 10 and primary school sports days are soooooo boring I absolutely dread them and, if I had the vaguest excuse not to go, then I'd grab it like a shot.

If your daughter was in a school play or old enough to compete in a sporting event that she really enjoys or is particularly good at, then that's a different matter. But standing in baking heat or freezing cold to watch endless races with little kids getting upset because their shoe came off, or they fell over etc - awful!! I hope DH enjoys his concert!

One word of advice - don't take part in the mums' race. Like the dads' race, they're hugely competitive. Watch out for the fit-looking parents who've turned up in their running shoes, having a quiet stretch just before the teacher in charge asks for volunteers to take part....Then again, you could be one of them!

violethill · 21/06/2009 11:22

You are being very PFB, and in danger of becoming one of those dreadful mothers who always has to be there, in pole position, at every school event, concert, sports day, assembly, cake stall...... Your children won't thank you for it, and the the staff will secretly take the piss. Take a leaf out of your DH's book and don't let your world revolve around your kids!

TheFallenMadonna · 21/06/2009 11:22

I will be missing my DD's first sports day. And probably all subsequent sports days too, unless I change careers. Actually I do regret it a bit, but that's really because I've been to DS's first three. However, DH has never been to one before, this will be his first, and he doesn't regret missing the previous ones.

I do rather agree with moondog that I'd be more irritated at the band thing though.

SomeGuy · 21/06/2009 11:30

My DS' school's events are always extremely well attended. You get parents taking several days off their very highly paid jobs to watch concert, sports day, play, etc. I suspect it's a private school thing though.

PortBlacksandResident · 21/06/2009 11:41

ACDC, Take That or Oasis

angrypixie · 21/06/2009 11:44

Sports day

I'd miss it like a shot for a concert. Trust me there are a lot more to come, and they all begin to blur after awhile. My DH hasn't been to 1 of them, I certainly wouldn't want him to use up a days holiday for it.

YABU

purepurple · 21/06/2009 11:44

if it is take That i will die from laughter

MrKrabs · 21/06/2009 11:45

who cares.
I think you are more concerned about other mothers seeing that you have a h who wont come.
He has a life - let him go imo

Original poster
numerouno · 21/06/2009 11:51

Yup it's TT!!! He's their biggest male straight fan I'm sure!

OP posts:
pointydog · 21/06/2009 11:52

You are being over-sentimental. If you are going to the sports day, it doesn't really matter if dp isn't.

purepurple · 21/06/2009 11:57

TT I am actually PMSL
Tell him to get a life
I take it back
DD's sport is much more important

forehead · 21/06/2009 12:01

I don't think there is anything wrong in your dh missing one sports day as long as you are going. But i dont think that we should underestimate the importance of these events for the children. Of course they are boring .I would rather go to work than watch a bunch of primary school kids run up and down a bumpy field. I am however a parent and being a parent can be boring. So i attend these events albeit reluctantly. My dh always attends sports days ,because at my dc's school sports day is a family event. Loads of fathers, grandparents, uncles, aunts and friends turn up.
Op i do think you are being a bit sentimental
as i am sure that your dh will turn up next year. For those who don't turn up to anything , shame on you. Don't be surprised if your dc's hold it against you when they are older.

pointydog · 21/06/2009 12:01

Heis going to see Take That for the 4th time on the one tour?!?

The sports day doesn't m atter. His TT compulsion is concerning.

pointydog · 21/06/2009 12:01

I love going to see any sort of school event. Doesn't matter if I can't though

SoupDragon · 21/06/2009 12:03

Blimey, I'd take Take That over sports day any time!

FairLadyRantALot · 21/06/2009 12:10

lol, I know this is a bit mean, but I am sniggering at the thought of anyone living to regrett missing a dc's first ever sportsday....but than, I am not very sentimental, I suppose...
and erm....Take That or Sportsday...for me the choice would be a straightforward one....and yes, you guessed it would be Take That

pointydog · 21/06/2009 12:11

I would choose sports day, no hesitation

TheFallenMadonna · 21/06/2009 12:21

Take That? Not really?!

scottishmummy · 21/06/2009 12:39

think he is a bit of an anorak stalking TT but also not with the gushy overblown description of 1st sport day either.

racmac · 21/06/2009 12:40

Take That - no way would i miss it - i saw them in Dublin - amazing

Sports Day - forget it I know where id rather be - cant you video it for him?

There will be plenty of sports days, assemblies, presentations over the next 12 years - i think YABU

islandofsodor · 21/06/2009 12:49

YABU if the tickets were booked before Sports Day was announced.

Quite a few Dads are at dd's sports day buta lot of parents work at the local hospital a couple of minutes away from school so nip out (but are oin call) or some are able to juggle.

Dh beaing a teacher can rarely go and there are some mums who also can not get time off work.

If we ahd something booked in advanmce ten we wouldn;t go (unlikely though as dates are set at the start of the year.)

Thunderduck · 21/06/2009 12:59

If it was AC/DC then he's most definitely not being unreasonable.

moondog · 21/06/2009 16:06

No.
Hell, I'd miss my own kid's birth to see AC/DC

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