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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is more of a request than an AIBU

142 replies

MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 21:01

Can I please suggest to the morons (only a couple of them thank God) that if there is a 28 page thread rolling on about a serious issue which you haven't personally experienced, please try to restrain yourself from piling in ten minutes before the end to play columbo and shout troll.

I have never offered more than a couple of words of support on threads about bereavement, infertility, miscarriage, drug or alcohol addiction or infidelity because I haven't been through any of these things and I can only empathise and offer a few kind words of general support.

However, on this thread about a controlling and abusive partner, I and the other people who have been through this too recognised the authenticity of SP's thread. We were more equipped to make that call than a couple of people jumping from thread to thread for a few moments entertainment.

I was really fcukign angry to get back today and see that SP's thread had been taken over by a couple (just a couple) of morons picking holes in her story. The people who did that should have a long hard think about the damage they might have done.

OP posts:
BettyTurnip · 09/06/2009 23:58

MaggieBee - you have invested a lot of yourself in your posts on this and the other thread, it's obviously upsetting you very much now. Log off and go to bed.

poopscoop · 10/06/2009 00:00

21.51 maggie "There was no troll to spot. and Poopscoop is still over there turning that thread into a court hearing. I feel SICK "

My first post on here is 21.58

but as you say, you didnt mention my name until i came over here. How peculiar, the thread must have gone wonky!

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 00:00

I am going to bed now. Can't believe that I have let this get to me. Can't believe that I turned myself inside out to help somebody and I end up being so upset. What's the point? I can never do it again. Somebody else will have to help the next person. I can't go through this again. I supposed to be putting it behind me. Not picking it all open again.

OP posts:
poopscoop · 10/06/2009 00:01

night then

BettyTurnip · 10/06/2009 00:03

MB - don't let it get to you. This is not real life.

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 00:04

The full post was this " left my controlling abuser. I don't need 'a case'. There was no troll to spot. and Poopscoop is still over there turning that thread into a court hearing. I feel SICK."

and I typed that after it was clear I was talking to people who knew exactly what thread I was talking about and why I was so upset.

OP posts:
FenellaFudge · 10/06/2009 00:05

MB - you're being way over dramatic now.
Overkill.

BettyTurnip · 10/06/2009 00:07

Go to bed!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Forget about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Really - forget about it, do not take things to heart that are written by strangers on the internet.

scottishmummy · 10/06/2009 00:32

maggie sorry you feel this has gone awry

BUT if you reveal and disclose on a open forum public site you cant expect to be contained and feel safe.or like all posts

so my advice only reveal what feels safe and manageable this isn't a therapeutic community.it is a bunch on anonymous birds with PC and opinions

poopscoop · 10/06/2009 14:36

I see the thread in question has now gone, so presume we were after all talking about the T word?

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 15:22

I asked them to delete MY posts. MN sent me a mail because they knew I was upset. They said they had no reason to thnk that she was a troll, but other people had reported the thread. I think they pulled the whole thread because of that. SP has gone anyway.

OP posts:
poopscoop · 10/06/2009 15:36

oh they pulled the whole thread because of you being upset. I see.

I am happy for the other one to remain, you know the one where I have been slagged off as nobody know me, and it is only an anonymous forum in any case.

You really shouldn't let it get to you.

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 15:37

[sigh]

OP posts:
poopscoop · 10/06/2009 15:39

[and breathe]

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 15:40

They pulled it because it upset me and because towards the end, it became a bunfight about trolls. They still don't know whether she was or she wasn't, but either way, obviously the thread was serving no purpose.

OP posts:
poopscoop · 10/06/2009 15:41

Well, at last we can agree on something

junglist1 · 10/06/2009 15:41

If it was a troll the fact she then decided to leave her relationship just because Mumsnetters told her to made me angry. I'm trying to leave, so are other women and she's getting told what a great fucking mum she is and how brave she is. It isn't as easy as that in real life, and she made out it was. I felt like a shit mum after that, thinking if she can do it so easily why can't I?

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 15:46

Junglist1, Most people can't just leave the very instant they realise it's all gone pear-shaped. That doesn't mean that they never will.

OP posts:
junglist1 · 10/06/2009 15:51

I don't know, it did seem really sudden though.

psychomum5 · 10/06/2009 16:21

junglist, I think that makes it proof enough that she was in fact a troll.

no one can do what that thing claimed it was doing the other night.....same as CVQ really

oh, and maggie.......they don;t normally delete entire threads just because one person got upset and revealed a tad too much about herself, they normally just delete said posts.

unless the entire thread gets abusive towards many

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 16:49

Psychomum5, I had a very nice mail from Helen. She said my advice was "cracking" which was very kind of her. She said that the thread wouldn't make sense without my posts. So they pulled the entire thread because if they OP came back and if she was genuine all she would see was posts about trolls. Either way, troll or not a troll, better to pull the thread. She said they have no reason to think she is a troll. (I know that is possible though).

OP posts:
FenellaFudge · 10/06/2009 16:57

Well, if you're so sure it wasn't a troll then I'm surprised you didn't reply to Helen's very nice email and ask that your post remain if the alternative meant the whole thing being deleted.

FenellaFudge · 10/06/2009 16:57

posts remain...

Original poster
MaggieBee · 10/06/2009 17:03

Mumsnet still aren't sure either way obviously. I wanted to delete my posts though. That was my perogative and luckily MN completely understood where I was coming from.

OP posts:
pingping · 10/06/2009 17:07

WOW!!! CVQ was a fucker I hope she aint back

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