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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

This is more of a request than an AIBU

142 replies

MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 21:01

Can I please suggest to the morons (only a couple of them thank God) that if there is a 28 page thread rolling on about a serious issue which you haven't personally experienced, please try to restrain yourself from piling in ten minutes before the end to play columbo and shout troll.

I have never offered more than a couple of words of support on threads about bereavement, infertility, miscarriage, drug or alcohol addiction or infidelity because I haven't been through any of these things and I can only empathise and offer a few kind words of general support.

However, on this thread about a controlling and abusive partner, I and the other people who have been through this too recognised the authenticity of SP's thread. We were more equipped to make that call than a couple of people jumping from thread to thread for a few moments entertainment.

I was really fcukign angry to get back today and see that SP's thread had been taken over by a couple (just a couple) of morons picking holes in her story. The people who did that should have a long hard think about the damage they might have done.

OP posts:
hullygully · 09/06/2009 22:53

Love is in the air, everywhere you look around. Love is in the air, every sight and every sound. Just open yourself to the love.

Gotta go to bed for a chick fight...(am liking the sound).

Portofino · 09/06/2009 22:53

I'd like to see Maggie and Poop make up before I go to bed! If you've both been through DV it is sad that you are fighting each OTHER....

hullygully · 09/06/2009 22:54

Yay, go girls. FEEL the love. Barry is here for you.

NotPlayingAnyMore · 09/06/2009 22:56

Well, there's already a policy on trolls and we all know where the report button is, so we should just let MumsnetHQ be the judge instead of making such a song and dance about it on the actual thread every time.

Original poster
MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 22:57

Portofino, if she's been through it I apologise to her for being so convinced that she hasn't. I told her I was very upset. My distress didn't seem to bother her. The distress of somebody who has been through DV would always strike a chord with me.

SHe is "pmsl" on this thread.

I think she should name change tbh.

OP posts:
Portofino · 09/06/2009 22:58

Several people already did that!

poopscoop · 09/06/2009 23:00

sorry??? I should name change to suit you?

If you knew much about DV you would know that everyone deals with it in different ways. But then, according to you, it is only Your way. I have chosen never to discuss on here what happened to me, and tonight is the first time in the 5 or so years I have been on here that I have even mentioned it.

My distress quite clearly does not bother you. You have been just as acidic to me you know.

Portofino · 09/06/2009 23:03

Maggie, I can see that you are both really upset, but coming at it from opposing poles. To you the OP rang really true, and you did all you could to help; to poop, the opposite, she didn't want anyone to be hurt by a "troll".

I don't know if SP will reappear or not. Like I've already said, she now has the info to help herself....

cheesesarnie · 09/06/2009 23:05

listen to psychomum5,she speaks sense.

catinthehat2 · 09/06/2009 23:09

"I think she should name change tbh."

I think you might consider going to bed before you raise too much interest in the name you are currently wearing.

It would be regrettable if for instance anyone looked a little further back and found anything strikingly reminiscent of SP's situation, put 2 and 2 together and made 5.

You won't shut down this discussion quickly and effectively simply by issuing orders.

Original poster
MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 23:09

You're not in distress. You are "psml"

DV aside, you don't seem to have much sensitivity or compassion..

I was on that other thread from the word go. You chimed in near the end. I was upset. I was angry. For somebody who should understand why I was upset and angry you have just laid on a bit more hurt.

OP posts:
mrsboogie · 09/06/2009 23:15

what???

MollieO · 09/06/2009 23:15

I don't bother to call troll on any thread these days. If I think the OP is a troll I report it to MNHQ. The thread is then deleted. Simple really. Have to say that it is usually blindlingly obvious too.

scottishmummy · 09/06/2009 23:16

thing about emotive topics is they can usually evoke certain responses

1 direct experience and susequent sharing of deeply personal experiences
2 a fishing expedition by attention seekers.start a provocative post,chuck out some bait

it is really abhorrent to falsely purport a certain set of circumstances just to get a response

poopscoop · 09/06/2009 23:16

yes i was pmsl at the way hullygully came onto the thread. In the middle of a ding dong it was quite funny. IMO but obviously only yours counts.

Please stop harping on about how much I have upset you tonight, it is getting boring, i have heard it god knows how many times. It is turning into a litle me, me, me, I am just defending myself from your remarks.
whether I am sobbing into the keyboard, nobody would ever know, just as nobody will ever know if you are either.

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/06/2009 23:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Original poster
MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 23:25

On this occassion I will hold my hand up and say yes I got too emotionally involved in that thread, right from the word go. After carrying it all around for several days I did get upset. It reopened a lot of old wounds. You came along and poured salt on me. And then a bit more salt. And then a bit more salt. You couldn't give a fuck. Your total lack of sensitivity beggars belief.

OP posts:
Quattrocento · 09/06/2009 23:33

I don't think that anyone is more equipped than anyone else to 'make a call' as to whether a poster is genuine or not. It is possible, is it not, that you were traumatised by your own experience and immediately identified with the OP and therefore were automatically programmed to believe the story? It is also possible that those shouting troll were doing so to protect people like you from overemoting and getting overinvolved?

poopscoop · 09/06/2009 23:40

oh shut up maggie.

Yes maybe i do have a lack of sensitivity to someone who has started a thread about me, called me a moron blah blah, not sure how you culd think I would give a fuck about you.

Just like you really, not giving a fuck about me

Original poster
MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 23:46

I didn't think it was a certainty that you would find this thread. It wasn't an invite to go head to head. You are being paranoid there. I was making a bigger point. SO you're the one who has 'me, me, me' complex. I thought people would discuss the value/wisdom of contributing to threads such as bereavement/alcoholism if they hadn't been through it in some way. That is honestly the way I envisaged this thread panning out. I didn't know you would follow me on to this thread, keep posting and mock me. That was the last thing I wanted.

OP posts:
BettyTurnip · 09/06/2009 23:49

Awful that evryone is getting so heated and upset, but just wanted to say - I heart hullygully

poopscoop · 09/06/2009 23:51

quite sly too then aren't you. Not thinking I would 'find' this thread which speaks of me being a moron. Did you want to talk about me be not let me see it? Call yourself compassionate and caring. Bleurgh.You are digging yourself in deeper.

Original poster
MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 23:52

You are horrible.

OP posts:
Original poster
MaggieBee · 09/06/2009 23:54

I didn't name you in this thread, until after you arrived on it.

I don't know what sort of person you must be, you're just getting off on hurting somebody.

OP posts:
cheesesarnie · 09/06/2009 23:54

how old are you two?