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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to think about putting in a compliant about this tesco till assistant?

138 replies

SillyDaisy · 07/06/2009 14:43

this am went to tescos to do the shop after taking dd 2 years old for a swim.

anyway, at the end of the shop we had a couple of bits in our trolley we didn't want.
things dd haad gone grrrrrr for on the way round.

some intg bubble bath and something else.

anyway.
i put the ITNG bubble bath on the end of the checkout and the checkout woman said don't you want that, i said no we don't.
so she said pass it to me then.
fair enough.
then when i had unloaded the whole trolley.
we found something else.
ITNG spaggetti or something.
so i handed to her and said we don't want this either.

so she said yes i better take it, as we don't want someone to say is this your shopping.
i AGREED with her saying yes and we don't want someone else to buy it by mistake.
then i said very nicely it is quite difficult when your shopping though as even when you go up the toileteries aisle theres stuff aimed at children ITNG etc.
(wasn't having a go at all, just trying to explain really why we had a couple of things i didn't want to buy)

she turned round and goes well you know what the answer is then just say no.
i replied ah shes not even two get she doesn't really understand no and reasoning.
[thinking that was the end of it]
then she replied well mine never used to get away with it!
i said well thats fair enough when there older and can understand and you can reason with them.
{again thinking that was the end of it]
then she said they still want it when they are older!
actually trying to have a row with me when i'm doing the shopping with my two year old.

by this point i feel like snapping back and saying well we can't all be as marvellous as you can we, know wonder you have reached the dizzy heights of checkout assistaant.
well done.
but i refrain stay calm and say again
well that's fair enough when there old enough to understand.
refusing to get into a row with her.

then she caarries on zapping the items, i can tell she's pissed off.
the she starts looking at my shopping
and picks up, some organics toddler biscuits, pulls a sneer and goes, errr what are these!?
i reply they are just biscuits, they just don't have salt etc in them
she goes errrr never had anything like that in my day
pulling a right face.

tbh this is not the sort of hassle i need when i go shopping with a toddler.

OP posts:
chegirl · 07/06/2009 21:05

OMG Please dont tell me organix biscuits are NOT good! Nooooooooooo.

bruffin · 07/06/2009 21:08

No not self righteous but you have to learn to say no to dc's in the supermarket, why not mean what you say from the start, not when you can't trick them anymore.
Just having one of those "no" conversations with DS 13 who want's to stay up for the Apprentice.

apostrophe · 07/06/2009 21:09

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

BlueBumedFly · 07/06/2009 21:14

Thank you for posting, really good to know. Just checked and the cereal bars don't have it but of course they do have sunflower oil..... Hmmmmm

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 07/06/2009 21:18

bruffin, no-one has to do anything, why not do xyz from the start? Because some parents will do things differently from you, and me, and that doesn't mean that they are not as good parents as you and me.

MollieO · 07/06/2009 21:20

Brave OP to be new to MN today and post on AIBU [hmmm]

sunfleurs · 07/06/2009 21:31

Agree totally LittleBella.

Go on Bruffin let her watch The Apprentice .

ilovesprouts · 07/06/2009 21:32
Hmm
bruffin · 07/06/2009 21:52

It's a he and he went to bed with a bit of a slam of the door ,he is a teenager so not much different to a toddler.

Just feel you should always start as you mean to go on, parenting doesn't get easier.

GreenGables · 07/06/2009 22:20

Hmm, perhaps I have got this wrong, but from what I read the lady on the checkout was trying to start a row with OP about her parenting AND pulling rude faces whilst disparaging comments about the contents of OP's shopping basket.

Now, I have spent many happy and unhappy years on the checkout and I have found no insult in the OP wanting to tell the checkout lady where to go (as in who are you to comment on my food/parenting - you work on a checkout, you are not a dietician or a specialist in child behavour).

As OP says, it is hard enough shopping with a 2yo who needs telling how to raise their children in a supermarket?!

What's more the OP is not asking whether her parenting style is unreasonable, nor how good her english comprehension is, rather she is asking whether she is BU for feeling upset enough to want to complain. ...why has this thread become so caty?

janeite · 07/06/2009 22:30

Not read the whole thread so apologies if I repeat what anybody else has said.

YABU.

She sounds as if she was trying, albeit quite ineffectively, to have a conversation with you.

It hardly seems worth posting on here, let alone complaining about.

And whoever said, 'well done for managing the shopping with a two year old' - surely that's what thousands of parents do every day? It's just life; hardly worthy of applause! And of course you can say 'no' to a two year old.

Am really confused by this!

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 07/06/2009 22:34

GG - it's become catty because some took umbridge at the lofty heights comment.

~As if we haven't all made disparaging remarks, based on someone's job/ appearance/ voice/ whatever because we're annoyed. And it's not as if the OP said it to the woman's face.

I also think from a professional pov, it's a bit off to make disparaging remarks about the products a customer is buying - after all, the shop is selling them!

shockers · 07/06/2009 22:59

I think I understand why you had the checkout assistant thought. I'll bet you don't have uncharitable thoughts about nice checkout assistants do you? Being on put on the back foot can bring out the cattiness in the best of us... with the possible exception of Mother Teresa

katiestar · 08/06/2009 00:24

From what I understood the whole thing started because the OP bleated to the checkout woman about them putting products that would appeal to children on the toiletries aisle.The checkout woman then replied that what the OP had to do was say No to the child.
I think the crux of the matter is that the OP knows the checkout lady was right !

hmc · 08/06/2009 00:36

SillyDaisy

Haven't read whole thread, but actually, in contrast to a few other posters, I rather like your "dizzy heights" comments and really wish you had actually said it aloud. It is delightfully withering.

....the lady made herself fair game by her attitude

Tortington · 08/06/2009 00:46

ooh i thought i smelled the burning torches. op had a bad day. and it got a shitload worse by posting here.

daisy, i hope tomorrow is much better

becklespeckle · 08/06/2009 01:16

You had me nodding in agreement with you until the "....by this point i feel like snapping back and saying well we can't all be as marvellous as you can we, know wonder you have reached the dizzy heights of checkout assistaant." comment. Some people work on a checkout because it is the only thing that fits in with their family life (particularly those doing the evening and weekend shifts) and they need the extra money, it does not mean she has never and will never do a 'better' job. I work a p/t on a checkout for just these reasons and can feel very upset by the fact that customers think I am stupid and could do nothing better with my life because I work there.

However, YANBU for feeling like complaining, it sounds to me as though she was rude and unprofessional (as some checkout chicks undoubtedly are) and I think some people on here have been a little harsh on you, you didn't actually say anything rude to the lady and you sound like you were polite to her despite her obvious pissed-offness.

steviesgirl · 08/06/2009 01:22

I think maybe you kept prompting her to say more and more to you about it, by you keep trying to justify yourself. You should have just killed the conversation by not saying anymore. Just ignore it, like I would do. If you don't say anything, they have no more response.

steviesgirl · 08/06/2009 01:24

Why didn't you just put the items you didn't want back on the shelf btw? She's only two fgs!

savoycabbage · 08/06/2009 01:27

YABU. You put stuff in your trolley that you didn't want and then couldn't be bothered to put it back. The check-out lady may have thought that the way you dealt with her was a little precious and a little that your dd was showing the signs of the same precious tendencies.

nappyaddict · 08/06/2009 01:55

Why didn't you just take them back to the toiletries aisle when you'd finished your shopping and then go to the till to pay?

Salme101 · 08/06/2009 11:04

YABU. Online shopping, dear. You've already mentioned Ocado - if I could still afford to use it, I would. Thankfully, I can still afford to avoid Tesco and Asda. If you go there, you've got to be realistic about what you are going to get - they aren't nice shops, they don't care about customer service and they treat their staff badly. I gather that Tesco don't pay their staff for their first 3 days off sick (if this has changed, I will stand corrected, of course). It's amazing how nice their staff usually are, imvho.

dolallylass · 08/06/2009 13:42

Blimey - if your skin is that thin I dread to think what each holds for you when the DD becomes Monster D in not time at all - Ignore her (and me!!) Ignore everybody!

MorningTownRide · 08/06/2009 14:00

So OP is getting a strafing for what she thought.

Good grief.

OP - you are being unreasonable for wanting to write a letter. Try doing it with two toddlers AND being a man (DH is SAHD and gets unsolicited advice all the time)

It can get like a feeding frenzy on here though - one of them pounces and the next thing you're being torn apart.

becklespeckle · 08/06/2009 15:04

Salme, you are right, they do not pay for the first 3 sick days and then after that they pay only statutory. They don't treat their staff fantastically but please don't tar all staff with the same brush, some of us do care about customer service, I would be mortified if someone complained about me!It may not be my dream job but that doesn't mean I shouldn't do it as well as I can.