To be annoyed at my grandma trying to give dds tiramisu?

[ladyofshallots]

My grandmother is constantly trying to stuff 19 month old and 3 year old dds with rubbish, even though she knows my views on healthy eating. I know she is from a different generation with different ideas and I do try to give her some leeway, but she insists on trying to get dd1 away from me so she can sneakily give her extra strong mints . She takes dd1 for a walk every week and I suspect it is for the express purpose of secretly feeding her crap she knows I won't allow.

Today dh had to stop her spooning brandy soaked tiramisu into 19 month old dd2, so she immediately turned to dd1 before I managed to stop her. Dd1 of course had a tantrum then and my grandma said 'oh you've got to give her something.'

It's driving me mad. I'm not even overly strict - I don't mind the odd bit of chocolate and we bake cakes at home. I have tried explaining what I like them to eat and giving some suggestions, but she seems to enjoy undermining me.

She is also very controlling with the dds, particularly dd1 and seems to want to take over whenever she is with them. She is overly affectionate to the point of being suffocating and I feel as if she regards dd1 as hers rather than mine. Dd2 is very clingy so she doesn't pay as much attention to her. I do try to let some things go, but whenever she takes dd1 out for a walk she refuses to eat her evening meal. If I confront my grandma she denies giving her sweets and acts offended.

Have read this thread and am feeling rather and as I usually make a humungous sherry trifle for Christmas (the accent being on the sherry) and last year, DD (at 3.10) asked to try a bit. I didn't even think about the alcohol content, I gave her a wee bit thinking she'd turn her nose up at it, but she loved it and ate an entire bowlful...

And I then made Nigella's Baileys tiramisu for a party and she had a load of that too....

Oh lord, me child's an alkie....

But thats your own child, fruitbeard, your own decision. Not the same as someone else giving your child something you don't want them to have.
IMO, it doesn't matter who it is or what it is, if I say they don't have it, they don't have it. My DC's know that the GP's give them treats and stuff they don't get at home, but the GP's know that if I expressly forbid something, my word is law on it.
Comes down to Rule No1; my kids, my rules.

YANBU. My MIL does this (not quite as bad by the sound of it) and it drives me mental. DS is 22 months and more than happy with things like grapes, blueberries, rich tea biccies as snacks and even treats. She's constantly trying to give him sweets, chocolate, cakes etc. There's no need when he's perfectly happy with healthier options. Soooooo much time for it when they're older.