My grandmother is constantly trying to stuff 19 month old and 3 year old dds with rubbish, even though she knows my views on healthy eating. I know she is from a different generation with different ideas and I do try to give her some leeway, but she insists on trying to get dd1 away from me so she can sneakily give her extra strong mints . She takes dd1 for a walk every week and I suspect it is for the express purpose of secretly feeding her crap she knows I won't allow.
Today dh had to stop her spooning brandy soaked tiramisu into 19 month old dd2, so she immediately turned to dd1 before I managed to stop her. Dd1 of course had a tantrum then and my grandma said 'oh you've got to give her something.'
It's driving me mad. I'm not even overly strict - I don't mind the odd bit of chocolate and we bake cakes at home. I have tried explaining what I like them to eat and giving some suggestions, but she seems to enjoy undermining me.
She is also very controlling with the dds, particularly dd1 and seems to want to take over whenever she is with them. She is overly affectionate to the point of being suffocating and I feel as if she regards dd1 as hers rather than mine. Dd2 is very clingy so she doesn't pay as much attention to her. I do try to let some things go, but whenever she takes dd1 out for a walk she refuses to eat her evening meal. If I confront my grandma she denies giving her sweets and acts offended.