to be annoyed at parents who send their kids to school with packs of chocolates, sweets and other sugary items to be DISTRIBUTED among the children

[OrangeFish]

I might be, or I might not... but I can not understand the rationale of sending their kids with all these sugared items with the sole intention to be distributed to the other children in the class.

Am I unreasonable in getting annoyed at parents assuming that it is OK to give sweets to children without their parents having a say on it? is it ok for the teacher to distribute them just as they leave the classroom at the end of the day? I understand she doesn't want to deal with a crowd of 6 years old on a chocolate high, but why to assume we, the parents would be ok with it?

This is a sensitive topic to me... in the best case scenario, my son would be left empty handed as he couldn't have some sweets without risking a severe allergic reaction; in the worst case scenario, if he eats/touches the wrong thing he may end up in hospital.... so I wanted to know what is the consensus for this as I'm obviously biassed due to DS's particular problems.

Do you think it is OK for sweets to be distributed freely at the door of the classroom?

as a teacher, i give out sweets etc at the end of the day if a parent has sent them in...I have 2 children with allergies and I am careful not to give them stuff..I tend to give them a biscuit or a breadstick or what ever comes to hand.

TBH i always give the sweets out at the end of the day because then the parents can decide wether or not the child can eat them...

I have seen children being given a lot worse than a fun pack of haribos at the end of school day by parents anyay.

so orangefish I think you are beung a little unreasonable

Healthy Eating Policies are not really suppoed to ban sweets and chocolate, etc. Just to advise against them being given regularly and to consider moderation.

I took in some cookies on my birthday to share with the class I work with. They have fruit every other day of the week, so why not the odd cookie or sweet?

In most schools if anything is brought in to schol like this they are distributed to children as they leave the school, with a parent or carer. I know we don't generally give out sweets and chocolate within school time.

However DD's school does. They have a list of allergies, etc. and they are a nut free school. If there were other allergies to avoid then we tend to be told as parents. DD's school will share out cake or buns with children in school time, normally at afternoon break. The children enjoy it and AFAIK no parent as had a problemw ith it, certainly not in DD's class.

if your son could end up in hospital if he touches the wrong thing, I am surprised teh school hasn't banned these things (at least from his class)

I woudlnt be annoyed with the parents but its soemthing that does get on my tits as dd comes out with some sticky goo then mithers on at me whining until i give in then she eats said chewy sweets whilst toddler moans as he has one all the way home. I much prefer parties where i can take th whole bag of her and remove the nice treats for myself

I aint got a problem with it. It saves me buying the sweets for that day!

it annoys me no end. especially with the amount of overweight children in our school.

It is a very small pleasure and means a lot to the birthday DC.

"How do you convince a child to eat carrot sticks just after he has had a handful of chocolate? "

DD just does. SHe does get sweets and crisps and they are never made a fuss of or made a big deal of. We are out shopping she sometimes get a sweet she sometimes doesn't they are neither a treat nor a part of her standard daily diet. I think partly because of this neither of my 2 get particlarly excited either way, dd is as Likely* to ask for the carrot sticks as she if for the chocolate.

I think YAB (a bit) U, it may be a bit much if it is more than once a week but I don't find it a huge deal having sweets either especially if they have a good balanced diet and care for their teeth.

"How do you convince a child to eat carrot sticks just after he has had a handful of chocolate? "

DD just does. SHe does get sweets and crisps and they are never made a fuss of or made a big deal of. We are out shopping she sometimes get a sweet she sometimes doesn't they are neither a treat nor a part of her standard daily diet. I think partly because of this neither of my 2 get particlarly excited either way, dd is as Likely* to ask for the carrot sticks as she if for the chocolate.

I think YAB (a bit) U, it may be a bit much if it is more than once a week but I don't find it a huge deal having sweets either especially if they have a good balanced diet and care for their teeth.

You need a system. How about you all put little labels on your DCs saying "Not allowed anything they might enjoy"

Okay that would be a big label. A badge then so the teacher knows to hand out the treats to everyone else and leave them out.

I don't have a problem with it at all. But I bet it's not long for this world.

What place could sweeties possibly have in the joyless world of 'healthy eating' that we now must inhabit?

On a separate note, I find it slightly odd that the person with the birthday should be the one handing out the treats - surely it should be the other way round?!

That said, I did bake little cupcakes for DS's nursery class on his birthday, but it's just one of those small things that I've always wondered about.

If I changed 'snatching' to 'asking for' or 'taking' then the overall problem for me would be the same. I don't think I have put it very well.

What I am trying to say is I think it is important to be able to wait for things, plan for things and save up for things. I think it makes you happier in the long term. I also want a treat to be a treat and not an almost daily occurance. If you get sweets every day at school then if you get some from granny when you go and visit then its no longer a treat but something very ordinary. If sweets and chocolate become ordinary then treats will have to be bigger/more expensive.
If you didn't let your child have the sweets after school but made them keep them for saturday then you would be forcing disipline on the child rather than allowing them to develop self dicipline so it would be pointless if your aim was to help your child develop impulse control. There is a difference between taking away something that they already have and making them wait until they have saved up enough money or completed a task or waited for a paticular occasion before they can have something.
If a child wants to save up for x amount of weeks and buy a paticular toy, but after 1 week someone buys it for them then they will lose the sense of achievement that they would have had from being disiplined enough to save. If they are looking forward to getting something for their birthday or Christmas and you get it for them straight away rather than making them wait then after the initial excitement, it will seem less precious.

Its not really about blaming the school for my ineffectual parenting. I wouldn't want to take away presents that they have got from their friends. It doesn't happen at our school and at playgroup ds was better than most dcs of that age at asking if he is allowed things because he has an allergy and knew he might need to swap things for something else at home. Its about not wanting them to be given treats/presents every few days.

From a health point of view it doesn't bother me. My dcs are skinny and active and have good teeth. Its not to do with it being sweets in paticular. I would feel the same if it was gogos or matchattax etc.

I think the problem is the frequency

10 times a year - lovely
30 times a year - ok
100 times a year - beyond a joke

Gosh, that was excessively long winded

it annoys me too.if one of mine comes out with something(last day of term it was dd) i have the other two chidren wanting to know why they cant have anything etc.more often than not i have to go and buy sweets or a cake for the two without.grrr.maybe im crap and should just say 'tough'.

They did this at my school when I was a little girl and I still remember how nice it was. I actually really enjoyed sharing the sweets with everyone else just as much as being given them. I managed to persuade my mum to buy everyone and Irn Bru bar for my birthday when I was about 6 and it made me happy because I knew everyone else loved irn Bru bars and it would make them happy.
My teeth are fine and I have no eating disorders, nor am I overweight. It was just a nice little occasional treat and it didn't stop me buying a carrot from the tuck shop every morning.

YANBU about the allergy but a little precious to think that your child is never going to eat junk at any point in their life. allergies aside, sweets in moderation don't do any harm and as already pointed out, there is just as much teeth-harming sugar in fruit as there is in sweets

IMO this is a fantastic opportunity to teach a child about allergies and what alternatives are suitable

YABU imo. Does it really matter?? Why on earth would someone be annoyed? Obviously allergies are different but I assume the school would be well aware of this. Chocolate isn't the devil and it's a nice way to celebrate a birthday. Let's remember that the chocolate usually given out are tiny and really will not do any harm.

I feed my children healthy meals, home cooked, the majority of days so I really see no harm in a small sweet/chocolate etc. I do think people need to get things in perspective, far more to worry about.

The allergy thing would worry me a great deal but otherwise I cant seem to get upset about a few sweets every couple of weeks.

It is silly if they give out tons of stuff but at DS's school its usually only two sweets or a packet of crisps.

Not stuff he usually gets at home apart from a few sweets on saturdays.

School has a bowl of fruit in the classroom for kids to help themselves too.

If it was only to celebrate a birthday then it would only be 30 times a year. Even I would be ok with that . The OP thinks its not for birthdays and its hapening twice a week. At my dss playgroup it was almost eveyday and you needed a handcart to get the stuff home. For me the annoyance was related to the frequency more than anything else.

Done to death with me- but i am annoyed when animal products get handed out willy nilly to my kids.
we don't eat melted pigs so i find it sad that other people think it is ok to give my kids stuff without asking me first...

but apprently that ruins the fun of the "normal" people, so i have to deal with it.

t would be nice if people gave stuf after asking the parents- but hey ho.

See now this is what annoys me. In ds1's school they have banned cakes being taken in as ONE child in the school has a nut allergy...the result 259 children have to go without to cater for this one child.

I now send in party bags each one has the same a cup cake fruit bar, sweets apple, small juice water, and a toy or hair accessory and some other junk goodies.

I like to see the children with their party bags and I like it when they all say "DS1's Mum Thankyou"

But if you don't eat "melted pigs" surely your dc know this and won't attempt to eat it either?

otherwise a note to the teacher should solve this.

LES, I suspect your school might be using this child as a scapegoat because they can't be arsed to cut up cakes and hand them round 259 times a year. Letting the allergic child have a supply of safe treats that he can have as an alternative would solve the problem.