to be annoyed at parents who send their kids to school with packs of chocolates, sweets and other sugary items to be DISTRIBUTED among the children

[OrangeFish]

I might be, or I might not... but I can not understand the rationale of sending their kids with all these sugared items with the sole intention to be distributed to the other children in the class.

Am I unreasonable in getting annoyed at parents assuming that it is OK to give sweets to children without their parents having a say on it? is it ok for the teacher to distribute them just as they leave the classroom at the end of the day? I understand she doesn't want to deal with a crowd of 6 years old on a chocolate high, but why to assume we, the parents would be ok with it?

This is a sensitive topic to me... in the best case scenario, my son would be left empty handed as he couldn't have some sweets without risking a severe allergic reaction; in the worst case scenario, if he eats/touches the wrong thing he may end up in hospital.... so I wanted to know what is the consensus for this as I'm obviously biassed due to DS's particular problems.

Do you think it is OK for sweets to be distributed freely at the door of the classroom?

we're just coming to the end of our 1st yr in school and ds has come home once with something from someone's birthday

dd , on the other hand, gets a cupcake almost weeekly from preschool

doesnt bother me at all , I even let her eat it in the car on the way home before dinner

DISCLAIMER FROM THE OP

As I mentioned in my original post and the one afterwards, I am asking about how correct the practice is rather than what I should do about the allergies.

Unfortunately, my son is already used to be left out and knows to take care of himself, within reason.

I provide free from cakes and sweets to the school in case someone shows with a birthday cake.

So please forget about DS' allergies and judge the issue outside of it.

I'm NOT requesting the school to ban birthday sharing of treats (I do also send birthday cakes in) but wonder if it was Ok for children to be given sweets twice a week at the door of the classroom, as I said I don't think they are birthday related.
my son been given sweets at the door of the classroom who most children have already in their mouths before the parent can reach them.

I don't think it's nessecary at all but I couldn't take sweets from mine once they've been given them. I don't give my kids melted pigs and I don't think that anyone else should but it's one of the things that I've come to grin and bear

rogue sentence at the end of the post, most of the sweets are unwrapped so they get to children's mouths before they parents can get to them

The practice may not be 'correct'. But its fun, and not worth getting our knickers in a twist over.

LOL, but we like judging the whole thing OrangeFish

Further to my earlier missive, I have no problem with it but if it's more than once a week then yes it's getting silly, particularly if they are nothing to do with birthdays.

it's funny but the dss often come out of school with apples or grapes that were handed out on someone's birthday and they can't wait to eat them. I know if I showed up with fruit straight after school they would never eat it but they are happy if a birthday child has given it.

On a slight tangent, ds1 once made pitta pockets at school with sweetcorn and cheese (which he wouldn't normally touch with a bargepole) but he and ds2 shared it eagerly on the way home.

Op - it's up to the parents to tell their children not to eat the sweet until they have ok'd it with them It's easy. If the children ignore them - well its not the tachers fault.

ellingwoman - how sensible, of course that is the answer.
If you don't want your kids to eat the sweets, tell them they are not allowed them.

We don't get this at school but we did at playgroup. When you added up the birthday sweets, the home from holiday sweets, the granny has just visited sweets, the leaving to start school/nursery sweets and the just because sweets then ds was getting sweets about 3-4 times a week. I hated it. Its not an occasional treat if its almost every day, and if ds is going to get an occasional treat then occasionally, I would like it to be from me.

We run the risk of raising a generation of unhappy uptight children just because the media tells us our children will become huge blobs of fat or under achievers if we relax just a little bit thus not giving parents the ability to think for themselves or be confident enough to use their own judgement when it comes to these things.

One of the reasons why children are less happy now than our generation is because they have lost the pleasure of looking forward to things. When I was little, everyone got pocket money on saturday, spent it on sweets which were mostly gone by saturday lunchtime. It was a big deal if someone handed you a 10p mix up in the middle of the week for no reason at all. If you start getting 'treats' on an almost daily basis then you don't get the same pleasure from them.

Well it seems that I have got the answer, so I can smile about it rather than being annoyed (no sarcasm here).

I was unreasonable. ......but still hate parents sending more sweets than they should, what's wrong with having a cake on its own? has it come out of fashion? [looks sideways to check last trends and wonders if birthday party competition is taking hold of the classroom)

Well don't let them eat them! Save them up for Saturday. Remember - YOU are in control

I think it's nice. Ds always loves it when he gets something.

Ours is a healthy eating school too but I asked if there were any children with allegies/intolerances first and bought accordingly.

Tis quite normal at our school, but they are given at hometime and not eaten until out of school. Some parents confiscate for whatever reason. It doesn't bother me though.

"We run the risk of raising a generation of unhappy uptight children just because the media tells us our children will become huge blobs of fat or under achievers if we relax just a little bit thus not giving parents the ability to think for themselves or be confident enough to use their own judgement when it comes to these things."

The above has made me smile... to add insult to injury DS came home from school today with a letter about the National Childhood MEasurement Program, to let us know that they are going to be measuring his height and weight.

How do you convince a child to eat carrot sticks just after he has had a handful of chocolate?

Dip them in chocolate?

Was your comment for me ellingwoman? I was just trying to make the point that most children today don't experience delayed gratification in the way that our generation did and this is thought to be, in part, responsible for children being generally less happy than we were (stanford mashmallow test etc.). I don't think that helicoptor parenting and snatching sweets that they already have out of their hands will make them happier though. There is a world of difference between a casual arangement whereby a child has his/her own money and is free to save or squander it as they choose, and a neurotic snatching of haribo at the school gate.

I think birthday treats would be fine. (they dont do it at dds school). Treats for any other reason seem a bit odd.

Definition of 'treat' is interesting. would prefer mini choc to haribo type crap.

My comment wasn't aimed at you but at your comment I suppose. And exasperation at parents who see problems when there aren't any. BUT your comment about 'snatching'??? Do people 'snatch' things out of their children's hands? There shouldn't be snatching anyway because you would have already laid down the rules of not eating before coming out of school. If children choose to break those rules then it's up to parents to follow up on consequences not blame the school for their own ineffectual parenting.

Again, that's not really aimed at you! Just a response...

YABU - children love it! Do you like sweets because I do. Far more important things to worry about with regard to children than whether they have sweets or not.

The allergy problem should be what you are addressing foremost. I def dont think the others should go without though.

I personally don't have a problem with treats being handed out in school, as we are in danger of restricting our children from the treats we enjoyed as a child and most of us have teeth that are ok!
Obviously sweets and chocolate should be seen as a treat but can be enjoyed in moderation! And children should be taught to brush their teeth after eating sweets to cut down on dental problems.
I dont think you personally are being unreasonable due to your sons allergies but sweets/cakes at Birthdays e.t.c is a childhood treat to be enjoyed not prohibited!