to be sad to see an obese toddler?

[NigellaTufnel]

Was in the park today, and there was a little girl who looked about 18+ months and obese. Now, I know that there may be health issues, and if that is the case I do feel guilty about Mrs Judgey pants, but it did make me feel a bit funny, that this poor thing's weight was not being managed.

And yes, she was clutching a 'drink that must not be named'.

However, I think that I was disturbed because there was lots of casual smacking of the child by her mother, shouting, and rough handling.

So, do you ever judge anyone else's child handling skills? I was quite shocked at myself.

How do you know her weight isn't being managed?

And giving a child a fruit shoot isn't going to make them obese!

We all judge, it's human nature, it's what we do with it after that counts.

lol i give ds an occasional 'fruit shoots' (always think of mn when i do ) and he's a skinny bean pole so i don't think you can blame that.

i think we all judge, every day. sometimes negatively sometimes positively. but it is human nature to wonder and of course you're going to think that there is a possibility that a child may have health issues, but there is also a possibility that it just eats crap. which is really sad.

although, i think a lot of it is sheer ignorance on the part of parents.
I have a cousin with 2 small children who live on shit because she just doesn't know how to cook and despite our best efforts to help she really struggles with the girls and ateotd finds it easier to chuck some chips in the oven every day.
the children aren't obese, but it's easy to see how children do become fat

I suppose that's why I'm a bit disgusted at myself.

I think the fact that the mother was smacking her other child in anger while it was crying and forcing it to lie down roughly has made me all the more judgey.

And also my ds was quite upset at all the screaming, hitting, and swearing.

But you are right, I think that the steroid argument is a good one.

I can't help it either.

Every time I see an enormous child with an enormous parent and they're both munching away on something huge and unhealthy I have to admit I judge

"So, do you ever judge anyone else's child handling skills? I was quite shocked at myself."

Don't worry, you're in a safe place here. No judging of any kind on MN, that never happens, no, not at all...

And my ds loves chocolate, and biscuits. We really are in no position to judge the Fruit Shoot!

She probably is a crap mother.

The thing is though we all have off days, so i try not to speculate on others, because i'd hate to think it was me someone was talking about.

Lovely Tin... glad I'm not the only one!

god, my dd2 was soooooooooo fat as a toddler.

seriously, she was maahoosive.

at a year old was off the scale for height and weight.

now she is 6, she is sooo skinny and lean.

and yes she had frooot shooots.

People DO know about healthy diets. They just can't be arsed to prepare them.

my kids eat healthily.

i have a milk/cheese issue [love anything with milk/cheese/butter)

but have given up all the above whilst weaiting on dd4 allergy clinic appoitnment and have lost 4lb in 2 weeks. whooo hooo.

i also had to give up choc, custard, biscuits etc, anything that contains milk.

though tesco do a 70% dark choc thats milk free and comes in handy mini bars.

Or don't know how nametaken.

No, I'm not buying the "don't know how" excuse. As Riven said, we are saturated by TV and magazine coverage telling us how to eat healthily. Maybe 10 years ago I'd buy that excuse but not today

I get very judgey, it's hard not to. I feel sorry for the older kids at school though.

DS1 at 6m was in 12-18m clothes and was not only fat but totally round faced, never had a drink other than juice and milk, fruit shoots weren't even round then. at 2 he was in 5yr olds clothes as he was so huge. he is now 10 1.2yrs and is soo skinny i worry.

DS2 on the other hand, eats chocolate, drinks tons of milk, eats his meals when he is in the mood has biscuits and fruit shoots and although in 3-4yr clothes is very slim...

personally i think it depends on the child.

i judge as well

saw a rather large family today in town

child 3ish was def over weight,in a buggy with juice in a bottle

son of maybe 7/8, again large

mummy def fat, wearing horizontal stripes of yellow and black (looking like a fat bumble bee) shouting at top of her voice to son

" i fucking told ya to leave it alone, now you've fucking broken it"

with son wailing "muuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuum aint my fucking fault"

and dad HUGE and waddling - trying to slap his son saying "dont fucking talk to your fucking muver like that"

yes there are medical reasons why people can get larger than the average person,but 99% it is down to bad diet,lack of exercise and no education about healthy eating

btw - all 4 were stuffing macdonalds down them as they waddled

I do try and not judge and hold it down if it is a one off glimse of a family.

But the poor lad in DS1s nursery who is hugely overweight is given a fullsize chocolate bar everyday after nursery and his mum never walks with him and only talks at him to scold him she too is huge. He also has behavioural issues and she has been told numerous times by the teachers that his diet could be aggrevating it (as she has talked about it by the gates) and I can't help but judge.

DS is nearly 5yo, he is 94th%-tile for children's bmi.
So very nearly "obese".
But to look at him you'd think he's only sturdy, not really "fat".
Which makes me think that if you see an obviously Fat preschooler, then they must be really fat: 99th%-tile or so.
Fat babies don't worry me, but 18m is a borderline age when they should start slimming down,

dd2 didnt slim down till she reached 4.

We found some photos of DS1 at aged 6mths the other day, he was enormous, really huge, as soon as he walked at aged 11mths he lost some weight but didn't get very lean until he was around 3. Now at age 5 is very skinny. He eats loads (mainly fruit and veg).

DS2 is a chubby 3 year old, he hardly eats but is more sedentary by nature than DS1. We do make sure that he gets plenty of exercise, we did a family 5 mile walk on Monday, I would hate anyone to look at DS2 and think he was fat or we were neglecting him and feeding him junk, we simply are not.

Nigella To answer your original question: yes, I judge other people's child-handling skills, even though my own aren't perfect. I am human! I try to remember my mum's favourite saying, "Let God do the judging and we'll do the loving" but sometimes I just can't help myself.

Saw a very pregnant lady having a fag yesterday She obviously knew exactly what she was doing, and was feeling horribly guilty for it, as she was hiding behind the public loos, dragging on the cig as though there were no tomorrow ... and quickly chucked it away and scurried off guiltily and furtively when she'd finished ... it was actually quite funny but I did have to stop myself running across the road and admonishing her! Free will and all that