Meet the Other Phone. Child-safe in minutes.

Meet the Other Phone.
Child-safe in minutes.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

See all MNHQ comments on this thread

Am I being unreasonable to suggest that kids who are faddy eaters have been "allowed" to become so?

1005 replies

Lucia39 · 27/05/2009 20:17

This will no doubt get me "flamed" but hell, I don't want to watch the Champions League final so have left other half and teenage son to do so on their own - a good opportunity for some "male bonding" with some beer!

So, what do other parents think? Are faddy eaters born or made?

I recognise that we all have certain foods that we don't particularly care for or like but once those dislikes have been identified surely everything else should be accepted and eaten? I always advocated the "taste it and see" approach which generally worked. Although I wouldn't suggest that a two year old be given red hot Indian food just to "taste and see", but .... you never know!

I also often wonder if some children are faddy because their repertoire has been so limited and/or bland that they view anything that looks or tastes "different" with suspicion.

When I was growing up there was always an option at meal-times "take it or leave it" and my mother held to the view that when we were hungry enough we'd eat. I am also quite sure that a day without solid food will not actually harm any child!

OP posts:
Lucia39 · 27/05/2009 21:53

shineoncrazydiamond Quote [nah I won't this time]

Re the nature/nurture with two different children - I don't know - psychology is a funny old thing. Can't remember what you posted but is it your son or daughter who is fussy?

OP posts:
helsbels4 · 27/05/2009 21:55

My dh and I are completely un-fussy (not sure that's a word?) Our dc's are relatively fussy it would seem.

I do not pander to them. I do not cook them separate meals. They are fully aware that they will not get anything else to eat until the next mealtime.

For all those who still say it is the parent's fault.... my answer to you is bo**ocks! You all clearly have no idea what you are talking about.

I'm really going this time

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 21:56

you're a bit of a wind-up merchant, aren't you lucia? i mean, clearly you are with this OP etc but you're needling people as well.

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/05/2009 21:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

nannyL · 27/05/2009 21:57

YANBU

all of my charges eat pretty much everything by the time i have nannied them for a few years...

and several have started life with me as very fussy eaters.

incidently i started a job 5 years ago... and left 3 years ago... in the time i worked there fussy 4 year old turned into eat anything 6 year old.... (who now i am not there is fussy 9 year old)

IMO children really are fussy cause they are allowed to be

Lucia39 · 27/05/2009 21:59

AitchTwoOh - Do I needle people? Gosh am I the only one on here who does that? No I'm not a "wind up merchant" but I do like to discuss interesting things - not really into the habit of going into detailed discussions about personal private matters on open forum.

[there you are shineon - just for you]

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 27/05/2009 21:59

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Sassybeast · 27/05/2009 22:00

I was very smug with my all eating PFB. Then I had PSB and lost my smugness pretty rapidly

Dalrymps · 27/05/2009 22:00

Lucia39 Quote [I am an Idiot] Unquote, Quote, Unquote

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 22:01

actually i've not seen anyone needle people who are being pretty polite and talking about deeply personal matters (the nourishment of their children, what could be more important?) on here before... i think that's why i'm mentioning it tbh.

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 22:01

polite apart from dalrymps, obv...

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/05/2009 22:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 22:04

i sincerely doubt it, shineon. breast milk and formula are INCREDIBLY sweet. i wouldn't bother second guessing it all, you've just got a fussy eater...

Dalrymps · 27/05/2009 22:05

Sorry Aitch, I just couldn't be bothered to be polite to such a person any longer. I have been on Ad's and through counselling becuase of my sons eating problems. I think she needs to realise this is a very emotive subject and not something people can just 'discuss' in a light hearted manner without feeling offended by her attitude.

pointydog · 27/05/2009 22:06

I meet plenty of adults and plenty of children who like some foods and not others. Some adults will eat pretty much anything but were fussy as children.

What matters is that whatever people do eat is fairly good stuff. Having a wide variety of likes isn't the be all and end all.

AitchTwoOh · 27/05/2009 22:08

yes, dalrymps. i do think that lucia has misjudged the tone of MN quite dramatically tbh. we rib, rather than needle...

stainesmassif · 27/05/2009 22:08

haven't read all 7 pages, but it seems to me from your op that you know yabu, but are interested in starting a debate about it anyway. you have too much energy imho.

RumourOfAHurricane · 27/05/2009 22:08

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

NotSoRampantRabbit · 27/05/2009 22:09

Well as the mum of a fussy eater I think I deserve some kind of medal for patience, kindness and persistence.

I do not think DS is fussy because I have pandered to him/am ignorant about diet.

I love food, am a good cook, prepare and eat food with DS and have offered him a wide range of freshly prepared food since weaning him at 6 months old.

He stopped eating age 1 and to be honest it broke my heart. The ability to feed and nurture my child is/was fundamental to my perception of my ability to be a good parent.

I lost it with the poor little thing. Tried putting food on the table and taking it away uneaten, meal after meal. I begged and cried and shouted and cajoled and turned mealtimes into a hideous experience for all of us.

A good friend's mum took me to one side and told me to feed him what he liked for a while to take the pressure off.

So I did. For about 2 years. And now, eventually, he is starting to experiment a little more. His diet is good, if restricted.

I refuse to listen to the frankly irrelevant opinions of people on this thread who have never parented a fussy child. Who have never sobbed over their child's diet or wracked their brains trying to understand what to do.

Given a choice between mealtimes from hell, day in day out for months, and a restricted diet but a happy child, really, what would you choose?

The ultimate goal is to make eating pleasurable. How can you acheive that if you/they sit there in misery throughout every meal?

HumphreyCobbler · 27/05/2009 22:10

But why on EARTH would I "allow" my child to become a fussy eater if it was easily avoidable? It is a complete pita.

I continue to offer nutritious, wholesome and interesting food to a child who is completely uninterested (not to say hostile) day after day.

I am quite proud of my good humour and perseverence actually.

Lucia39 · 27/05/2009 22:10

Dalrymps - takes one to know one so they say!

OP posts:
EccentricaGallumbits · 27/05/2009 22:11

bollocks

HumphreyCobbler · 27/05/2009 22:11

great x post rabbit

nevergoogledragonbutter · 27/05/2009 22:13

quote twat unquote

piscesmoon · 27/05/2009 22:13

I thought the same as OP before I had DCs but I now know that it isn't the case. I have 3 DSs, all brought up the same and yet all with a totally different response to food.

I think it is the same with all people.
I have been somewhat disillusioned, I thought that old people were of the generation that ate everything on their plate, having been through the war, and yet having had quite a lot to do with the elderly and old people's homes recently I have to say that I have never met a faddier more fussy bunch!

Please create an account

To comment on this thread you need to create a Mumsnet account.

This thread is not accepting new messages.
Swipe left for the next trending thread