Am I being unreasonable to suggest that kids who are faddy eaters have been "allowed" to become so?

[Lucia39]

This will no doubt get me "flamed" but hell, I don't want to watch the Champions League final so have left other half and teenage son to do so on their own - a good opportunity for some "male bonding" with some beer!

So, what do other parents think? Are faddy eaters born or made?

I recognise that we all have certain foods that we don't particularly care for or like but once those dislikes have been identified surely everything else should be accepted and eaten? I always advocated the "taste it and see" approach which generally worked. Although I wouldn't suggest that a two year old be given red hot Indian food just to "taste and see", but .... you never know!

I also often wonder if some children are faddy because their repertoire has been so limited and/or bland that they view anything that looks or tastes "different" with suspicion.

When I was growing up there was always an option at meal-times "take it or leave it" and my mother held to the view that when we were hungry enough we'd eat. I am also quite sure that a day without solid food will not actually harm any child!

my dd went through faze of being faddy, tbh i just let her get on with it, it was hardly going to kill her and i knew she'd soon get over it. she's like me really, too greedy for her own good, so it was only a matter of time before she actually wanted what was on someone elses plate.

if you give it to much attention you just make an issue out of something that neednt really be an issue.

however its been lovely having a total bin of a ds who will eat anything, why just this morning he tried spider he spat it out which rather amazed me.

not enough seasoning Kilty

I don't consider myself an exceptional parent but I do hold to the view that it's all about education. As has been pointed out young children will often want to "try" the food that the parents are eating and young children also quickly learn that mealtimes can used as a means by which to challenge parental control. Hence a lot of these issues seem to kick off once a child gains a modicum of independence - the Terrible Twos are often, although not always, around the age that a lot of this "warfare" commences.

Well it all depends if you are willing to let you child go to bed hungry (and therefore wake you in the night) or you are made of sterner stuff.

I was very fussy as a child. And I didn't eat rice until about 15, pizza until 19 and pasta until 25!

lissy I feel a bit sorry for your children if you are not going to allow them to have dislikes.
I eat most foods but however much I try I cannot swallow foods of a wobbley texture, I did once sit with a whole creme brulee in my mouth unable to swallow it because I didn't want to offend my host ( I was 14). I don't think that makes me rude or wimpy I just cannot do it.
I even used to heave watching dd eat scrambled egg or jelly but thankfully got over that by the time ds was born.

I'm not sure either way. I am fortunate that I have 2 good eaters, although just recently DD has started refusing foods and becoming more difficult to please.

I personally can't understand it when parents send their kids to school every single day with a jam sandwhich and other assorted crap and then claim its because they are fussy eaters. My kids would be fussy too if all I allowed them to have were jam sandwiches. Maybe I am oblivious but to me, it is just madness.

We are very much followers of the "no alternatives" school of thought and the kids will go without. I've read many times on MN that you should choose your battles and I have to say, the food battle is not one I choose to engage in. You either eat it or you don't but there is nothing else.

A friend of mine was saying earlier this week that her DD will have 2/3 meals prepared for her most nights as she refuses to eat whatever has been made. I'm guessing that is an extreme case, but I could neither allocate enough time to cook 3 meals a night for one person, nor justify it in monetary terms.

Lucai39 does that mean i let my 10 month old become a faddy eater? Because at that age she was very uninterested in food and had very slow weight gain which really worried the hospital paeditrician. Nowadays although petite she is in the normal range. Though even today she is not that interested in food - sweets included! Some people are like that - m particular about what i eat so cant expect much different from her!

(Aitch, i got over excited and started a 'man looking' thread in chat!)

apologies if this is bad MN etiquette, I'm sure Aitch will stay here until this one's run its course...

I've clearly stated in the OP that we all have food we dislike or aren't too keen on - I couldn't understand my mother's love of raw endive when I was a child - now I too enjoy it! However, to have a child that won't eat anything and kicks up a stink when it is offered seems to me to be allowing children to become little culinary tyrants. Yes, they possibly will grow out of it but in the meantime - let 'em go hungry to bed and ignore them when they whinge. Chances are they'll eat a sensible breakfast the next day!

Good point about tonsilitus, Madamcastafiore. My niece has not long had her tonsils and adenoids out with much the same effect. Poor sausage, we thought she just wasn't a big eater but now appears eating was actually painful. She is no longer underweight, hurrah!

(I had tonsilitus repeatedly and very painfully as a child, tonsilectomy was out of fashion at the time so docs refused to do anything, I just had to suffer. Think I'll blame my fussiness on that. And evil school dinner lady.)

lucia39 - i agree and many of my nanny friends would agree with your last post

if they dont eat a meal,then the next one they will

I wonder what kind of behaviour you might have to endure from a child who hasn't eaten all day. Is it really worth it? What was the point? It's a bit of a hollow victory.

I always think it is a good idea to remember that these will be the people who will be looking after you when you are old. Prunes, anyone?

Blondes and Lucia. Not every child will eat the next morning or even the next day as some of us keep mentioning. What do you do then?

i had tonsilitus as a wee kid, i still remember waking up screaming, it was awful.

have posted already, dreamy. looks like it's goiing well.

"However, to have a child that won't eat anything and kicks up a stink when it is offered seems to me to be allowing children to become little culinary tyrants. Yes, they possibly will grow out of it but in the meantime - let 'em go hungry to bed and ignore them when they whinge. Chances are they'll eat a sensible breakfast the next day!"

I followed this well meaning advice for 3 days and DS1 didn't eat anything for 3 days. You cannot possibly have a clue how to fix it once it has set in.

I have four very good eaters. I don't make a big fuss and never really have but have always as a matter of course served healthy and yummy meals.

All four are funny about clothes though

then offer them a breakfast they will like

i am not saying give them food they dislike just to try some new foods

When my children were little I never tolerated any moaning and groaning about what food was put in front of them.
They could eat or not eat whatever they liked from their plates, but if they moaned about anything then I picked up their plates and threw their food into the bin.
It was about respect for the food and respect for their mum who had provided it.
Two were good eaters and two were more discerning , but they all knew the deal. Eat it all, eat some of it, or leave it - nothing else until the next meal. No pressure.

TheCrackFox - did he eat eventually or has he starved to death? Sorry to be flippant but at the end of the day it is about who is calling the shots.

I for one would never have been prepared to cook separate meals for my child. Given the replies on here I don't know whether it was luck or upbringing [I suspect the latter] but fortunately [apart from a period when he was ill] I never had to endure mealtime battles.

I often wonder if children develop some of their tastes from breastmilk. My son must have consumed vast quantities flavoured with garlic, spices, and chilli!

great

lets add bf into the mix too shall we

super

I'd put it down to luck Lucia, particuarly considering how many parents with fussy eaters also have a child that will eat everything.

And would you really allow a child to go without food for 3, 4 plus days?

So they don't eat dinner and you give them a breakfast that they like. As someone who has a recovering fussy eater I can tell you that all you will do, if you do it often enough, is train them not to be hungry at dinner and to need a massive breakfast.

FWIW this advice is patronising shite. It is the assumption that parents of fussy eaters have never thought of it before.

Do you tell parents of naughty DCs to beat them? Or is the smug "advice" reserved for the fussy eating brigade?

Blondeshavemorefun Quote ["then offer them a breakfast they will like i am not saying give them food they dislike just to try some new foods"] End quote

Exactly. Use the opportunity [they're hungry] to try them with something new.

YABU.

My dd grew up eating anything; her fave food at 18m was olives with 'little guys' inside (either red pepper or garlic). At about 6 she became difficult to feed and picky. She's now 9 and will eat pretty well anything we put in front of her. She was not born faddy, neither was she made faddy. She went through a phase of faddiness and may do so again. I think it's a silly question.