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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

AIBU or just weird to avoid snogging my husband?

59 replies

mulranno · 27/05/2009 18:10

TBH I really dont like it when my husband snogs me...its always a slobbery french kiss..and kind of turns me off...so I avoid it...we have a great sex life...just dont like the snogging...goes back to when we first met and he was a heavy smoker with bad teeth...Jesus how did I stay with him!!...all that has been resolved...doesnt smoke...expensive dental work...but I am still hung up...are we or is he just a crap kisser? Can we/he learn to do it better?...does it have to be frech?...feel like a sad teenager posting this

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/05/2009 18:13

Is he like a washing machine? Round and round with his tongue and buckets of spit? Is his name Brian?

Yes, you can teach him how to kiss you the way you want him to. Just do to him what you would like him to do back to you. Unless his name's Brian, he should be able to learn.

violethill · 27/05/2009 18:16

Have you always just put up with it? Cos the danger of introducing a new technique is he'll wonder where you learnt it

Original poster
mulranno · 27/05/2009 18:21

Mrs SF...that is soo funny and yes it is exactly like that...what is the Brian ref?

OP posts:
MrsSchadenfreude · 27/05/2009 18:30

Brian was someone I went out with who never learned to kiss. Round and round, like the spin cycle, with spit oozing out of the corners of our mouths.

His tongue did have other uses though.

screamingabdab · 27/05/2009 18:44

Is his name Fred?

Fred was my first boyfriend and my first kiss was a nasty claggy-smoker's-sputum frenchy.

It has left me with an aversion to snogging too, except when I'm really "in the mood"

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 27/05/2009 19:16

me too. he's all slobbery and I don't like it much - only when I'm very in the mood. He's never commented He likes having his neck kissed so I just deflect the snog with that

tiredsville · 27/05/2009 19:36

Strange. Me neither, problem is dh is starting to notice I don't like kissing him. I try to get all blokey about it saying ' lets just get down to business luv' or ' gotta rush'.

screamingabdab · 27/05/2009 19:42

LOL tiredsville

One thing I have tried is doing that "copy me" game, where you basically do it like you'd like it to be done, IYSWIM

I have also been quite honest with DH about my aversion.

Maybe you all could invent a traumatic first kiss scenario to explain why you don't like it?

HecatesTwopenceworth · 27/05/2009 19:57

I don't think I'd fancy that either, tbh. But then, I don't like kissing full stop, never have. A little kiss is fine, but open mouth, tongues everywhere - bleugh. Makes me heave.

FairLadyRantALot · 27/05/2009 20:14

lol at schadenfreudes post...priceless...

hmm...don't think yabu...or we can be yabu together, as I am currently turned of my dh for reasons of facial pube....barf...

however, yeah, some gentle talking and explaning might help your situation....maybe make a bit of a game out of it....

screamingabdab · 27/05/2009 21:00

Funny Fairlady I am currently turned ON to DH for reasons of facial pube (never thought I'd like a man with a beard,but it makes him look all rugged and outdoorsy)

FairLadyRantALot · 28/05/2009 17:05

lol....I can't stand it on him...he looks like Dr. Morris from ER ....only that my dh is actually blond, bar the ginger beard....now ,I think I would not mind quite as much if he either was completely ginger or blond...just a bad combo, imo

purpleduck · 28/05/2009 17:10

oooh, I would love a bit of dr Morris
(mmmmmmmmmmm)
Have you SEEN how he fills out his t shirts?

FairLadyRantALot · 28/05/2009 17:18

well, he certainly has improved much from when he started....but no...am not drooling when I see him.....it was Luca, Dr. Ross, and Carter that could make me drool ...saying that, non of them would succeed when they have a beard....lol...

screamingabdab · 28/05/2009 17:41

Fairlady I tease DH that his beard is "one shade lighter" than his hair

BTW, in case you were wondering,he has a moustache too
He is not Amish

FairLadyRantALot · 28/05/2009 17:47

rofl

Original poster
mulranno · 28/05/2009 18:04

right...glad i am not a total weirdo for my feelings...was thinking for showing him this thread as it is so funny...!...think I will get on and teach him some kissing...will let you know how it goes

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 28/05/2009 18:07

Good luck mulranno. Don't think you should show him the thread though,he might be a bit upset.

I know we have had a good larf, but it is a worrying topic.
It's kind of hard to admit ...........

heartofgold · 28/05/2009 18:08

yabu - your h is a fantastic kisser

screamingabdab · 28/05/2009 18:08

He He He

FairLadyRantALot · 28/05/2009 18:16

oh now that is a whole other can of worm opened there heartofgold, ouch

lazylion · 28/05/2009 18:23

I haven't kissed mine for years - mainly due to his habit of sticking his chin into my face to signal that the kiss is about to end. Does that sound familiar to anyone?
I tried to change his technique but nothing worked, I just can't stand it so he knows to keep off.
I am more wierd than you mulranno, at least you grit your teeth so to speak and get on with it.

snigger · 28/05/2009 18:41

Through a rigourous 13 year regime of slapping the back of DH's head, teenage eye-rolling, and loud bored sighs, I have trained DH into kissing exactly the way I like it

I think provided you say something positive too, kind of "I like it when you X, but the Y thing isn't doing it for me at the minute" most blokes with reasonable self esteem would take well to guidance - I'm sure he'd rather be doing it right.

lazylion · 28/05/2009 19:00

I will try the slapping and eye rolling snigger, a good hard slap when he sticks his chin out may well do the trick.

screamingabdab · 28/05/2009 19:34

I'm still trying to picture the chin thing.

Is he Bruce Forsyth? .......

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