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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To hate being called 'auntie' by kids that are not my nieces or nephews?

137 replies

Nancy66 · 27/05/2009 12:12

Really grates on me.

In fact I don't even like my actual nieces and nephews to call me 'auntie' but friends kids...yuk.

OP posts:
jellybeans · 27/05/2009 12:13

YABU I find it nice.

muppetgirl · 27/05/2009 12:14

...and that's what you're spending time worrying about this morning?

Oh to be you....

Original poster
Nancy66 · 27/05/2009 12:14

I'm a miserable old bag, I know.

And a snob - it's a bit common isn't it?

OP posts:
junglist1 · 27/05/2009 12:14

I don't mind if I like the child. It means they wuv u lots and lots!

BitOfFun · 27/05/2009 12:15

YABU.

It comes from a time when we actually had communities and you were allowed to tell other people's children off so they actually had some manners...cue Hovis music. I like it, and I still have aunties that I am not related to.

muppetgirl · 27/05/2009 12:15

Never related it to being a class issue.

How did you get there with your thinking?

Thunderduck · 27/05/2009 12:15

It's common here, but if you don't like it then there's nothing wrong with politely saying so.

I believe people have a right to be called by whatever name they wish, and if you don't like auntie then YANBU to ask that they call you by another name of your choosing.

BitOfFun · 27/05/2009 12:16

And apparently I'm common because of it?

lovelyboy · 27/05/2009 12:16

I think you are right. I would not like it at all. You are not their auntie, I dont get it. Cant you say to them 'why dont you call me 'whatever your name is',as thats my name. See how that goes. I dont like my nephew calling me auntie, why not just use your correct name.

WhiteFish · 27/05/2009 12:17

Only used here for godmothers.

Mistymoo · 27/05/2009 12:17

I was brought up to do this and it was to show some manners and respect for people.

Original poster
Nancy66 · 27/05/2009 12:19

it's definitely a working class thing. As a kid, all my parent's friends were known as 'auntie this' or 'uncle that' - it's only when i moved up in the world (!) that i realised middle class kids don't really do it.

plus isn't it confusing for the kids?

OP posts:
missorinoco · 27/05/2009 12:19

It's cultural too, although that probably partially relates to the community spirit mentioned above.

Rindercella · 27/05/2009 12:21

Nope - not common at all. I am very posh and rather like it.

I have a friend I have known since we were about 3 years old. When DD was born I referred to her as Aunty X. She was horrified & like you said she hated it (she's posh too btw!). She said when she was little she just called all her friends' parents by their christian names. I knew that - my parents absolutely loathed it - they always thought that younger people (esp small children) should show a level of respect & only address them so informally if they had been invited to.

Anyhow, in the greater scheme of things, it really isn't that important is it?! You are being totally daft though about not liking your neices/nephews calling you aunty. Do you have ishoos around getting older perhaps?

FAQinglovely · 27/05/2009 12:22

agree that's it's also cultural.

Looking at the wedding photos of our wedding I often ask DH "who's that" (he's got a huge family most of which I've only met once - at the wedding)

answer is always

Uncle
Cousin
Auntie
Sekuru (normally used for Grandfather - but used for any male in the family)

SlartyBartFast · 27/05/2009 12:23

we called our mums friends auntie when we were children. i like it, and i am quite posh.
or was

SlartyBartFast · 27/05/2009 12:24

never any uncles though, that has shadey conotations doesnt it?

BitOfFun · 27/05/2009 12:24

I'm so excited to find myself rubbing shoulders with horny-handed sons of toil on this basis, I always thought I was quite posh! < polishes clogs >

slug · 27/05/2009 12:24

I a cultural thing. In NZ any woman who is not your mother or teacher is referred to as 'Aunty'. It's a term of respect.

georgiemum · 27/05/2009 12:24

I don't mind. It is better than 'Mrs XXX' or 'XXX's mum'. We never referred to adults by their christian name (they were always Mr or Mrs XXX), so I still find that a bit odd sometimes, but Auntie is OK. Lots of people I know do this.

lovelyboy · 27/05/2009 12:24

I dont think its either a common or posh thing. Its some peoples way. Its certainly nothing to do with manners. If you really wanted to be extremely polite then you would say for example 'Mrs Brown, please may I have a drink'. We all use first names where I come from.

Tortington · 27/05/2009 12:25

i am an only child so it was great for me to have neives and nephews on my dh's side call me this.

but....i have a 15 year old step neice - and it seems that becuase they know i like it - my bil and sil encourage their children to always prefix 'aunty'

i told neice rather exasperatedly the other day that she didn't have to call me aunty anymore.

she siad the liked doing so

dh said "ha - ha it makes you feel old" err no

and then neice went to her mum and said i shouted at her for calling me aunty.

its fucked up

BitOfFun · 27/05/2009 12:25

Ah! < crestfallen >

I see there are other poshos who use it too...

muppetgirl · 27/05/2009 12:25

Had a couple of uni friends over yesterday and their lo's and we all do the 'Aunty so and so' to each others children. I like it. They're special to me in a not-quite-family way as I've know their mums for over 10 years now.

Class issue?

I'm obviously not at your dizzy heights

RubyBlueberry · 27/05/2009 12:26

I like being Auntie Ruby!