To hate being called 'auntie' by kids that are not my nieces or nephews?

[Nancy66]

Really grates on me.

In fact I don't even like my actual nieces and nephews to call me 'auntie' but friends kids...yuk.

I rather like it; I think it makes it easier for children to address adults confidently, striking a nice balance between being on familiar, first-name terms and saying "Mrs So-and-So".

I would still find it easier to call a lot of my friend's mothers "Auntie" rather than address them by their first names; in spite of being nearly 40...

Is it a class thing

I ddidn't, our children don't, but I have known some children that did. I wouldn't have called them working class.

It wouldn't annoy me though.

I don't have nieces/nephews yet (and probably won't!) so I find comfort being auntie to my friends two girls!

and they're not christian so I can't be godmother.

It's not so much class as geography I think, though I know the two often go hand in hand. For me (working class, north midlands upbringing) it was definately the norm in childhood, and exactly as others have said, a middle of the road, respectful way of addressing ones elders. And now in my lovely middle class, distinctly nct 'type' Hertfordshire location; we use a mix. When our antenatal group babies were all tiny we all used aunty a lot, but fairly naturally we seem to have moved on to just first names now they're coming up four.

I don't see any problem with you nicely asking not to be called aunty if it bothers you - your friends should be sensitive enough to care. But please don't feel it an insult that they have used it up to now. It's always a mark of closeness and respect ime

I hate it and so did my mum which must be where I got it from.

I never used to call my real aunts and uncles anything but their first names.

With non relations I was told to use first names if they didn't mind, or Mrs or Mr if they preferred that.

My mum also used to tell me I didn't have to kiss people I didn't want to.

People soon learned not to demand a kiss because constant rejection often offended . They deserved it imo:I hate people who expect be able to paw children.

I did have to be polite, mind.

And another thing, the term Aunty makes my toes curl with tweeness. It's Aunt or nothing.

I don't tell my SIL, who likes her DCs to call me Aunty Tallulahbelly, because she thinks it's polite and it would be rude to object.

I'm from common stock btw but we were encouraged from a young age to scramble above our station whenever possible.

i really like it my best friends children call me auntie and i see my friends as more family anyway they make me lovely presents and i just think its sweet

we always did use auntie/uncle for all our neighbours etc as children. I don't really like it, but I wish people would make it clear what they want to be called, as if can be difficult for other people's children and parents.

One of dd1's little friends came into the kitchen and said (to get my attention) - "erm excuse me mrs". PMSL, it sounded so Carry On!

DD calls some of my friends aunty x and uncle x, but that is because we are so close to those friends they are in fact like auntes and uncles, certainly closer to them than the real ones.

In particular one couple, they are, as far as we are concerned, our family. I could not imagine my life without them in it, nor them us. It is not done to be 'trendy' or 'cool' or 'common' or whatever other reasons people might do it. It is not something we band about lightly, it is recognition of a special place those particular friends hold in ours, and in our DDs life. I think it is lovely to have people close enough in your life who are not family to be able to feel like they are family.

I do not use these terms for all our friends, just those who are 'family'

What Pavlov said

Slug - a bit of a generalisation about NZ, in some cultures/areas perhaphs, but certainly not a wide spread thing. I really don't like it when it's done in this way - just 'Aunty'. I guess I wouldn't mind it, if it was by a young maori/pacific island child who didn't know my name, but my ex nieces and nephews would do it - just call me 'Aunty', I'd rather they called me 'Aunty ChippingIn' or just 'ChippingIn' - 'Aunty' is lazy (they are not Maori - if that matters?!)

was the norm in Sweden when I grew up

Was the norm growing up for me too - working class, inner city.

I hate it though. I think basically for many adults it's about keeping children in 'their place' and making them realise that they're little people and can't even be on equal terms with an adult so far as to use their first name.

I do get that for some it's about acknowledging special relationships, however I really don't find it necessary myself at all. DS knows who he loves most and who is most special to him and using their name or 'auntie' name makes absolutely no odds.

When does it stop, too? My SIL is a big grown up girl now but can't say "Hello Jane" to her mum's friend Jane, she feels she has to say hello auntie Jane, which I'm sorry, DOES sound odd. To me.

Message withdrawn

my dd's call their godparent auntie and uncle xxx and some very close friends (some of these rae more involved in the dd's lives than their actual true aunties/uncles are)

I always called close family/friends auntie/uncle whe growing up but dh didnt even call his relations auntie etc just used christian names so he finds it a bit weird and think SIL (dh sister) still finds it weirf they call her Aunty X!

I always thought it was a class thing too. But then my mum wouldn't have considered it respectful for us to use an unrelated adult's first name in any context - we were expect to call them Mr and Mrs X.
And our real aunts were always aunt never auntie.
I, on the other hand, would hate to be called by anything but my unadorned first name by anybody, including my actual nieces and nephews.

I always called my parent's friends Mr or Mrs Bloggs or whatever. Have always encouraged my children to call their aunts, uncles and adult friends by their first name. Don't like titles like aunt or uncle precisely because they can be ambiguous.
Likewise I am called by my first name by my nieces and nephew.
I don't know if it is class or cultural, but I feel uncomfortable hearing a child address another adult as aunt or uncle if they are not.

It was normal for us growing up in a small rural community.It was a token of respect as we would NEVER call an adult by their first name.If we didn't know them well,it was Mr or Mrs,if we did it was Auntie or Uncle.I still live in the same place and my children do the same.If someone was offended by it,I'd not do it,but no one ever has been.

BitOfFun,I live in a posh place so it can't possibly be a common thing to do!

We've always done this with close friends. I don't like my children to call adults by their first names. But then saying Mr. or Mrs. is too formal for people that we see often. AFAIK, our friends have always considered it a great compliment.

Yanbu. It is a ridiculous habit in dh's family. Dh grew up calling a couple of his parent's friends auntie x and uncle x and now Mil insists on carrying this on with ds.

So ds is encouraged to call some 60+ year old people he has pretty much nothing to do with auntie and uncle.

What a crock of baloney, he two real aunts and one uncle on my side of the family that perfectly fit the bill. I correct it if I hear it.

I could understand it marginally better if it is two best friends doing it, but this just is bad mood inducing.

I like it.

I HATE being called by my first name by children. I find it disrespectful - I know what you are going to say but I do! So there!!

So for children I don't know well, I insist on Mrs Twopenceworth, but for the children I know well, the children of friends, I prefer Auntie Hecate. The very idea of being addressed as Hecate by some random 8 yr old sets my teeth on edge.

I'm all confused now! My aunt never liked being called Aunty because she was so young really like a big sister. Call all my parents Asian friends Aunty & Uncle. I needed my nephews to call me aunty because I'm not the same colour as them and Nephew 1 very poorly as a kid and we would often have to go to A&E for his asthma attacks. I wanted the staff to know I was an important person in his life. Not keen on other kids calling me aunty unless their asian as it makes me think of my dear Dad.I think we've told Ds to call godparents aunt and uncle!!! So I get called the same but I've change my mind about being called aunty!!!! Thank you for the post it made me do some thinking

I love it.
I do it all the time, except with one friend who I knwo doesn't like it.
Wrt the class thing, the only friend I have who openly dislikes it is the tabloid reader.

[snobby emoticon]

My close friends are aunty/uncle to my children but only the ones who are actually like my family.

DH however, calls pretty much any adult older than him aunty/uncle because culturally for him it is a sign of respect. Likewise anyone he vaguely knows is aunty or uncle to my dc, doesn't bother me as long as they know who the people that realy care about them are.

oh - meant to add that I actually dislike being called by my first name by random adults either. Mrs Twopenceworth until I tell you otherwise, or else!!

Clearly I am a freak and have stepped through from the 18th century, judging by the other posts here!

SuperWasher That how I feel only close friends that are actually like family. But at a party or picnic children copy each other and before you know it your aunty to the whole crowd!