To hate being called 'auntie' by kids that are not my nieces or nephews?

[Nancy66]

Really grates on me.

In fact I don't even like my actual nieces and nephews to call me 'auntie' but friends kids...yuk.

All my asian friends are Auntie X and Uncle Y to DS and all my english friends are just X or Y - it's often cultural and after a while of getting used to it I can even cope with being called Auntie!

YABU

I rarely say that except on threads about the BNP, I am so wishy washy

But you ARE.

Its lovely and its polite.

I have about 40 neices and nephews inc great n & n s but I am always ready to be auntie to more even if they are not related to me.

My children were bought up to call familiar adults auntie and uncle.

But my side of the family dont do it. My sister hates it.

My dh already had a niece and nephew before we met. I was introduced to them simply as Teafortwo. - So that is what they called me.

So fast forward a few years and I was walking down he Champs Elysee with dp's (it was before we were married) nephew - He was high on a football shirt buying spree and we were enjoying Paris together. He turned to me with a big smile and just like that asked permission to call me 'Aunty Teafortwo'from now on.

It was completely wonderfully heart-stopping.

thank you all for your comments - interesting.

I also feel this way about the auntie thing...i think it's best used to describe your dad's/ other male relative's mistress

teafortwo - that's so sweet, when children actually want to 'upgrade' you

I really do think I'm going to have to give up MN though, it makes you far too bloody paranoid about everything. I have been saying 'Ask Jane if you are allowed to' rather than 'Ask Katies Mum' because I think 'Jane' deserves an identity of her own. Most of them I only know by their first names (don't know their surnames) and even if I did, I wouldn't tell my LO's to call them Mrs Smith anyway - far too old fashioned!! (Sorry those who still like it!!)

blueshoes - it is a British thing, just certain parts of the UK

Tf2 - awwww

I think its lovely.
Its the norm in the Asian community. It doesn't matter what religion or background the elder is, they are always Auntie or Uncle.

ffs why do you think this has anything to do with class? you're all bloody obsessed with being working class.
I think calling your parents' friends aunty or uncle is a sign of respect for your elders. i did it as a child and still do and now so do my children to my friends.
wtf

choppingIn and squeaver - I know... it gives me goosebumps just thinking about it!

I like it, I think it's sad it seems not to be done that much any more.

I was brought up to believe it was disrespectful to call an adult by their first name, so it was a good way of showing that you were close to an adult, but still respectful. If you didn't know an adult that well they were mr or mrs x, if they were the parent of a good friend, or a family friend, they were auntie or uncle x. I find it a little uncomfortable even now when children of friends call me Cosmosis, I would much rather be Auntie Cosmosis.

And I'm solidly middle class. Kate Fox says so

Read rest of thread - I'm not sure it is a north south thing - my parents were from the north but I was brought up in the south and it was common amongst all our friends in the south.

Avenging, I am glad you made that comment about your real name not being avenging, otherwise I would have thought your nickname was something to do with having a ginger brother-in-law.

Apologies if that's been said a million times already.

I like it.

I dislike small children using my Christian name and I find it hard myself to use friends parents Christian name. Auntie however tends to be reserved for my parents' friends. My Friends' parents (even now) tend to by Mr & Mrs S (or D or whatever the first letter of their surname is).

In addition the fractured nature of the professional classes - ie the fact that many of us have moved many miles from 'home' for employment - means that my friends' children (to whom I am 'Auntie lurker') actually see far more of me than they do of their real relations.

I know that this is a source of sadness to their parents but I'm aware that they think that their children having meaningful realtionships with adults other than them is important and that if because of geography that relationship is with a longstanding family friend as opposed to a blood relation then that is fine.

Doesn't happen to me, just get called auntie by my nephews and the only people my kids call auntie or uncle are their aunts and uncles. Friends' kids just call me by my name, and my kids' friends just call me "x's mum."

Our neighbour's little girl who comes round to play with DD calls us 'mummy' and 'daddy'. We keep telling her our names but she insists. It's a bit weird but rather sweet, I think.

I like it.

Lower middle class north-western upbringing here and all my mum's mates were Aunty to us - we just seemed to slip out of it around 16ish and they became known by their first names, which by then seemed a natural progression. No confusion re who I was related to or not, it was very widespread.

Still called the elderly lady who lived next door Mrs X though, even when we were older and she said 'oh, call me Y' - it just seemed really odd and disrespectful to call someone so much older than us by her first name.

Fraightfully upper MC friend brought up in Kent referred to herself as 'Aunty L' to DD more or less as soon as she was born and I'm 'Aunty FB' to her DCs, similarly my vair, vair upper class drama friend who's grandma owns half of Wiltshire introduced herself to DD as 'Aunty S', so I doubt it's a class/regional thing at all. We're all in our late 30's/early 40's, perhaps it's a generational thing?

Having just hosted a playdate where I was constantly referred to as 'DD's Mum' when the 4 yr olds wanted my attention, I'd rather like being Aunty Fruitbeard...

Makes my teeth itch when a random child calls me by my first name!

Why shouldn't children be allowed to call you by your first name? Why's that so wrong.

i can see how using 'aunt' and 'uncle' shows respect either. It's just habit and tradition.

Yes, but adhering to whatever tradition is current where you live is the way humans tend to signal respect. Deliberately breaking with it doesn't have to signal lack of respect, it can equally signal intimacy, or a desire to change society- but it signals something. It's what linguists know as a marked choice.

Which is why I had to reluctantly break myself of my habit of curtseying to my elders when I arrived in this country. It was respectful in my country, but here it was such a marked choice that it would lay you open to suspicions of pisstaking=disrespect. Sad, but there it is.

Cory - where are you from?

Where are you living now? In the UK?

If it's respectful to curtsey to your elders where you come from, I imagine living somewhere like the UK was a very big change for you. How long since you moved?

[Obviously, feel free to ignore the nosey ChippingIn if you want to!! LOL]

Doesn't happen round here (South East) and I really miss it. Growing up in Yorkshire all adult family friends were 'Auntie' or 'Uncle'. It was warm and cosy and lovely.

edam I grew up in the south east and we did it.

Yeah, but I live in a commuter town full of, erm, professionals who would probably think 'Auntie' v. common.

YABU I think it's nice. And polite. I was brought up with lots of aunties as all my Mum's friends were 'auntie' to me, and my DD has loads too. Is nicer for little children to address adults like that I think.