to be annoyed at this new term of 'full time mum'

[blondie80]

i know i'm not being unreasonable.

a woman on that lottery 1-100 show on sat night referred to herself as a 'full time mum'

i take it she meant sahm instead.

i have no bones with anyone's choice as to what the do, sahm of wohm.

but... i was so annoyed i felt she was referring to wohm as - part timers??

does she forget that we do the same stuff as well as a full week at work!!

i was with my mother when we watched the show, and she has 4 dc who have left home, and says she is still a full time mum regardless.

ok rant over.

Yes.

"Just a turn of phrase" - v. dangerous reasoning. Language matters. It reveals what you think and shapes what it is possible to think. Otherwise, in this context, we might as well go back to 'housewife'.

blondie - No one said they couldn't.

Now WTF is that wall..

I agree with Lockets.
I don't call myself a F/T mum because I work p/t. It's just too long winded to say I work p/t but I'm just as much a mum as when I was at home f/t.

OP didn't describe herself as a 'working mum' but a WOHM.

I don't think that most the people posting on here are missing the point that all mums are mums all of the time. What we're missing is why it's such a deal breaker.

I guarantee that most people on here who work out of the home would say that they are 'insert job title here' rather than a mum who does nursing or a mum who's an international lawyer.

WE are ALL mums all of the time. It's just that some of us don't work out of the home as well so we call ourselves full time mums.

It's not a slur on anyone who works out of the home or an implication that they aren't mums all the time too. They just don't choose to do this for a living (or rather as a career choice).

We ALL get a little sensitive about our choices. I went back to work when dd was 14 weeks old and felt hideous about it, but at the time, that was what I had to do. Now I have the choice and I'm at home.

I wouldn't have minded if someone had said I was a part time mum when I worked part time. I know that I'm a mum first and a worker second. BUT when I'm at work, I'm a worker. When I'm at home I'm a mum. Now I'm at home all the time, I'm a full time mum.

Edam, OP says further down the thread that of course she is a working mum because she's a mum who goes out to work.

LOL Riven. Solicitor soliciting (phernar, phernar).

Usually by my Christian name! Um, an or 'ds's mum' depending who I'm addressing. (Very rarely 'dh's wife', for some reason.)

She called herself and I quote 'a mother who works'

Aren't we all?

If you are going to get picky about what others call themselves, surely it'd be a good idea to watch what you say yourself?

Actually I don't think the language does matter too much here.
Any offense is in the OP's head and I say that as a mum who works outside the home.

People don't tend to ask questions that you'd answer 'working mum' or 'full time mum' do they? Sometimes someone I don't know very well will ask whether I work/what job I do and I just tell them what the job is. Don't think I ever call myself a working mum.

Mind you (musing further on this topic) people do often question me when I tell them what job I do. First one is always 'do you work full-time?'

mums

on a seroius note though, must be horrible to have that kind of guilt eatting you up.

do yourself a favour and let it go.

I meant in conversation. Such as 'as a working mum it's difficult to find time for...' rather than using it todescribe youself. If a mum I didn't know said that to me I'd assume she WOH. If she said, 'as a full timemum it's difficult to find time for...' I'd assume she SAH. Either way I'd be nodding along, not judging, just knowing how difficult both choices are.

tarmarto, you are a classic.

so can no one except for one other poster answer the poll?

strange, that no sahm's are agreeing that i can use the term full time mother if i wish.

Good Lord how ridiculous. I consider myself a full-time Mum and describe myself as such because I am "full-time" at home with my daughter. When I return to work I will no longer be so. It is such an old term, possibly American in origin. Why does that get your goat so much?

TBH, I hadn't heard the term SAHM until I came on mumsnet, so I used to call myself a full-time mum. The alternative was "housewife" or "homemaker" which imply I stay at home all day baking and cleaning which is definitely not the case !!

I am sure the term "full-time mum" must annoy those who go out to work for money, just as much as the term "working mum" annoys those of us whose work is looking after our DCs for no money!!

Nice post myredcardigan.

Lockets, I guess I'd make judgements there. I'd assume you were either caring for a disabled partner or child or an elderly relative. f/t mum and working mum just seem to clarify more simply without the need for anyone to take offense.

blondie of course you can use the term, you will just look like a right plonker!