Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to be annoyed at this new term of 'full time mum'

688 replies

blondie80 · 26/05/2009 12:26

i know i'm not being unreasonable.

a woman on that lottery 1-100 show on sat night referred to herself as a 'full time mum'

i take it she meant sahm instead.

i have no bones with anyone's choice as to what the do, sahm of wohm.

but... i was so annoyed i felt she was referring to wohm as - part timers??

does she forget that we do the same stuff as well as a full week at work!!

i was with my mother when we watched the show, and she has 4 dc who have left home, and says she is still a full time mum regardless.

ok rant over.

OP posts:
cthea · 27/05/2009 14:19

thedolly - you still don't get it? Go back several pages.

Lockets - here's a heads-up for you. When you do go back to work you'll see that not everyone lives in MN-land and answers in appropriate painfully thought-out terms. They mean what job you have.

JeanPoole · 27/05/2009 14:21

lol at your ds2 riven.

anyone getting their knickers in a twist about this has issues

lockets · 27/05/2009 14:22

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thedolly · 27/05/2009 14:22

violethill - what do you do with your DC when you are at work?

lockets · 27/05/2009 14:24

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

cthea · 27/05/2009 14:25

lockets - you sound out of touch. It happens easier than you think. I'm sure you've been away for more than 3 years as my DD1 is 4 now and you were already at home the one time we met.

thedolly · 27/05/2009 14:26

You pick a great nursery that you know will stimulate them in the way that you would like to be able to yourself - no? That's outsourcing

violethill · 27/05/2009 14:28

the dolly - we tie them on a long leash to the bannisters!!

But, you know what, they are all charming, intelligent, sociable and confident children. Quite amazing really that they've turned out like this isn't it?

And having two professional parents with a good income means that statistically they are highly likely to go on to University and get good jobs themselves. Bet that really pisses you off eh?

Original poster
blondie80 · 27/05/2009 14:28

please ladies can we catch a grip???

just something i have been wondering?

do those non wohm think the term full time mum makes people think they do something other than just being a mum??

honestly when i heard it i firstly thought 'well what mum isn't full time?'

OP posts:
JeanPoole · 27/05/2009 14:30

lockets does sound out of touch at all.

far from it, in fact

FairLadyRantALot · 27/05/2009 14:30

cthea...why is lockets out of touch?

Honest, fact is, that people actually do understand what a full time mum trys to say when she says what she is....nothing out of touch with it....

see, I never dare call myself an housewife, because, well, that would have been an insult to all those people that actually keep their house clean....lol...

lockets · 27/05/2009 14:31

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

JeanPoole · 27/05/2009 14:31

violethill why don't you just answer her question, of where do your dcs go when you work?

violethill · 27/05/2009 14:34

Because I answered it about ten pages ago.

(Not that it's anyone's business. I couldn't give a flying fuck how thedolly spends her days.)

FairLadyRantALot · 27/05/2009 14:34

psst...maybe they really go into the cellar with them spiders or in that nice cupboard under the stairs -only joking...

actually people have been asked earlier , and it is kinda a stupid question, really....

[looks around for that wall]

lockets · 27/05/2009 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

thedolly · 27/05/2009 14:34

violethill - Oh but you're busy stimulating other peoples children so that's OK then.

I suspect that you are a secret slater of SAHMs under the guise of "I'm a full time mum, I'm still my children's mum even when I'm at the hairdressers"

sarah293 · 27/05/2009 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

happywomble · 27/05/2009 14:35

One person I know who stopped work for a while when her children were young described herself as on a

"career break" I think it was a break of 10 yrs in the end!

Maybe this sounds better than housewife, full time mum, or stay at home mum.

Original poster
blondie80 · 27/05/2009 14:35

bye lockets, chat later.

OP posts:
cthea · 27/05/2009 14:36

This will go round in circles.

I don't see anything worng in saying "I look after my children full time." as it's a statement of fact. "I am a full time mum." is either adding nothing (as all mums are full time mums) or being a value judgement, hence the thread here.

thedolly · 27/05/2009 14:36

The reason I asked is because every time I mention something contentious you bring up your DH

EightiesChick · 27/05/2009 14:36

It is a term being used very oddly in some instances. I heard some woman ringing into a radio phone-in say she had a part-time job, were doing some kind of university course, and was "also a full-time mum". That to me seemed wrong somehow, because I would expect FTM to be used by someone who spends their usual week looking after their kid(s), without having formal employment or education on their hands as well. It's starting to become a term you can use about yourself even if you are doing 37 other things, which does seem a bit odd.

The trouble is, not only is there no good and short way of describing yourself if you're like the woman above, there's no good, respected and socially appealing way of describing yourself at all if you're an SAHM or working less than full-time OTH. So I can see why people use the term, but it is problematic [sitting on fence emoticon]

FWIW, as someone who is planning to return to work full-time, right now if asked what I do I'd say 'At the moment I'm home with my DS, but I work as...' I am really not sure what I'd say if I gave up paid work altogether, although that doesn't seem likely.

JeanPoole · 27/05/2009 14:36

you couldn't give a flying fuck?

errr you don't sound like it

anyway, if this is what happens when your a wohm mum, paranoia and guilt etc, i'll stick with being a FTM for now.

now off to look at something a bit more lighthearted.

goodbye.

morningsun · 27/05/2009 14:38

I guess some people on the thread would say "We all look after our dc full time!"