to wonder why my DH takes 20 mins in the loo every morning

[MmeLindt]

and now DS said to me the other day, "I am going to the loo. I might be a while, just like Papa" as he headed off with his Spiderman comic tucked under his arm.

He is only 4yo and already conditioned into the long loo stop.

you have answered your own question

is there a lot of reading matter in your lavatory, perchance?

aarrrgh, i hear you, i just can't bear it. in our next house, i'm going to demand two separate bathrooms because i can't deal with the half hour bathroom lockins twice a day. i am dreading the day my ds starts that habit too. it drives me nuts how i can be showered and dressed in 15 minutes in the morning and dh takes 45 minutes!

We have enough bathrooms. And far too many magazines in there. Should get rid of them maybe.

He goes in there for 20 mins when we are due to go out for the day. Meanwhile I get myself and the DC ready to go out, make a picnic and get the car packed.

He comes out of the loo and says, "have you remembered to pack the sun tan lotion"

Only 20 minutes? DH is in there atm. 45 minutes so far. He has a novel with him. It makes me unreasonably cross when he does what you describe in a morning. I do all the washing up of breakfast things, packing bags, tidying around etc and he sits on his throne reading only to reappear with an inane question about whether I've packed a drink.

He is, otherwise, a kind, helpful and generous man but I will be in the local papers soon having hacked through the door and flushed all reading matter down the toilet while he's still on it. The screams will be heard in the neighbouring village. I will crack. It's festering you see. The twice daily visits. It's been 10 years.

My dh is a bit odd, cos he's a strict in and outer. I used to have a boss who would disappear to the loo every morning on the dot at 10am with a paper under his arm and be there for half an hour. Yuk yuk yuk!

ah i'm glad i'm not the only one. i'm the same in the morning on the weekend, have unpacked dishwahser, dressed myself and ds, packed lunch and snacks, vaccuumed the downstairs, sent 5 emails, and am dying to go out for a coffee by the time he emerges!

YANBU.

This drives me bonkers. On the odd occasion DH will actually take only a normal length of time on the loo as opposed to 30 minutes, and always emerges muttering darkly about 'not setting a precedent'. This only happens when he forgets to take a book/magazine with him and I've cleared out his usual stash.

This is one of my overriding childhood memories.

My father's daily visits to the loo in the morning with The Guardian tucked under his arm....

Oh, and the flippin' smell afterwards!

My dh does this but what really pisses me off is when I go within a second he comes up the stairs and says is anyone in the bathrom?....so i will say yes me ......again??? he says you are always in there im not always bloody in here you are always coming in when im in here so I have to do everything in stages...wee/wash hands/makeup.brush teeth - whatever.

The other bathroom grievancw I have is - if he is in the bath thats it for 45 mins no-one is allowed in,yet I announce im having a bath everyone goes to the loo then within 5 mins someone wants a wee- why should i have to put up with this???

I am v cross today dh has wound me up grrrrr

I would put men going to the toilet with papers tucked under their arms as my TOP HATE. I cannot bear it. We once (in the early days of going out) went to center parcs with the in laws. Father in law, stood up announced he was going to the toilet and had paper tucked under his arm. He was there for half an hour. Yuk!! It is soooo disgusting when I need to pop to loo after DH and the seat is warm. yuk. there is something so Jim Royale about it. YUK

Also, to continue this rant - I am so sick of picking papers up from the bathroom floor.

Can you tell I did all the ironing today and am in a bad mood???

Another thing that pisses me off is if ive been in the bathroom dh does this big thing of spraying air freshener as tho I stink - I was getting a bit concerned cos he was doing it every time - so I conducted a trial .....I went to the loo sat on the loo with my trousers on (my fanjo deffo does not smell )then flushed the chain and left......dh goes marching in and sprays!!!! is there a word for toilet bullying??

I am feeling today like I want to do that live in two houses thing like that Helena Bonham Carter does. Poor bloke is just at work doing his best and he is still really pissing me off!!!!

Mines not even doing his best grrrrrrrrrrrrr

The mere thought of reading whilst on the loo makes me shudder. I'd have to disinfect the paper/book/magazine .

Where does this strange male habit of spending aaaaaages on the loo come from? Mine does it too and I just don't get the appeal.

Why is it like this for men ???????

My DP is the same, a good 20 min every day, at the same time, in the morning, without fail. He is very proud of his immensely regular bowel movements?!

I feel that if it takes that long to have a poo there must be something wrong.

The bath thing pee's me off to - I just want 30min in peace once a fecking week.

I have not been to the toilet without a small child for four years. I have even had to take a baby - still latched on in there with me!! Dark days!!! No time to linger, too much to do. Men have no sense of urgency or pace, nothing they feel the need to rush for cos we do everything!! I think is one of those Mars and Venus things.

Maybe he is having a ham shank

I MN on the loo, i couldnt give shit who knows (scuse pun )

I put a magazine rack next to our loo with something for all of us so we can all read and take our time . Is one of life's small pleasures imo.

DP doesn't do it. I do. A little bit I don't mean taking hours, I mean reading.

TMI below, more on and ignore this paragraph if you don't want the explanation.

When I was younger I used to have constipation issues, which then meant when I did go it hurt, so I put it off, vicious circle etc. So sometimes I need to take my mind off what I'm doing, if you see what I mean. In an emergency I read the back of shampoo or toothpaste.

Vinegar tits hes not very good at it then- he still comes out of the bathroom cross as a bear

Trillian, I feel cross when I have to resort to the shampoo bottles. All the ingredients are the same. Is most displeasing.

though I like reading all the foreign languages and trying to guess which European country it belongs to (the translations on the back of the bottles)

My DH uses the outside loo, because he also smokes and has a fag break in there too. Cleaning that loo and supplying it with loo paper is also his responsibility. Most of the time it's too cold for him to languish in there for long!

Good to know I am not alone.

The other toilet related issue we have is that when I finally get into the loo, shower, dry my hair and start putting on my makeup he comes in and says, "Hurry up, we need to go now, how long are you going to be?"

I want to scream, "YOU HAVE BEEN MARRIED TO ME FOR OVER 11 YEARS, WE WERE LIVING TOGETHER FOR 4 YEARS BEFORE THAT, DO YOU NOT KNOW BY NOW HOW LONG IT TAKES ME TO PUT ON MY MAKE UP AND DO MY HAIR?"

And we are only going to be late because I HAVE HAD TO DO EVERYTHING WHILE YOU TAKE A DUMP

I do admit to MNetting on the loo (not right at this moment though)