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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to wonder why my DH takes 20 mins in the loo every morning

53 replies

MmeLindt · 12/05/2009 13:56

and now DS said to me the other day, "I am going to the loo. I might be a while, just like Papa" as he headed off with his Spiderman comic tucked under his arm.

He is only 4yo and already conditioned into the long loo stop.

OP posts:

picmaestress · 12/05/2009 23:01

Oh Trillian, I'm so glad it's not just me! The backs of shampoo bottles are so dull.

RE: unnecessarily long pooing: I think I agree with the theory that they're having a toss. I have talked about this kind of thing with male friends and most of them agreed they had a wank at least once every day, which astonished me, frankly.

StripeyOss · 12/05/2009 23:26

20 mins is the minimum toilet stop for my DH, its usually much longer.

Bobblebuddy · 13/05/2009 11:27

personal outside loo for DH - genius!

audreyraines · 13/05/2009 13:15

i've always thought it's kinda unhealthy to spend so long pooing. i would only lock myself up in there if there was a problem iyswim. usually i can be in and out in a couple of minutes. although sometimes i consider locking myself in there away from my kids (but dh did this before kids, so i can't blame that).

Phoenix4725 · 13/05/2009 13:48

no dh/dp but do have ds that can take a good30 mins in there mind I do ahve 2 loos and he is banned from using downstairs one so least if have vistors know its not please don gas mask before entering

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 13/05/2009 13:55

Oh I love this thread.
My favourite is when I ask DH if he is ready he will reply "don't worry it only takes me 10minutes to get ready". Yes dear I know it only takes you 10 minutes to have a shower and put your clothes on, it's the 20 minutes you take having a dump before getting ready that I am trying to factor in.

Also the smell, how? We eat the same things? How does his become so pungent?

Crackopenthebaileys · 13/05/2009 13:57

omg, I thought I was the only one. This should be labelled as a support thread!

DH take so long on the long drop, it's a running joke that he has it listed on his CV as one of his hobbies

I am blessed with a seperate toilet though, so I don't have to take my showers in a room that smells like a dirty nappy!

We have an outside toilet, currently unusable, that I have been threatening to get done up for him. hmmmmm, I may just have to make that my task for the weekend haha

Crackopenthebaileys · 13/05/2009 14:00

oh hang on, it gets better.

He often sits in there for 20 minutes, thn comes out having done NOTHING.....just sat there. his response to my quizzical face was 'I was just seeing if I needed to go
WTF? It took 20 minutes to decide that you DON'T need a shit?!

NorbertDentressangle · 13/05/2009 14:09

Fortunately everyone in this house seems to take an acceptable amount of time -no readers (although 4yo DS occasionally likes to sing or make random loud noises on the toilet )

Makeda · 13/05/2009 14:11

COTB

DP takes his laptop in there and plays computer games. Sometimes he's in there so long I get worried that he's slipped or something.

We have a strict rule though - if I'm in the house he has to come and ask me if I need the loo before he does his shit, because I'm not going in there afterwards (the smell, but also the fact that I'm borderline phobic about sitting on loo seats that are warm from someone else ).

Original poster

MmeLindt · 13/05/2009 17:46

DH actually does not stink the loo out much.

His top tip for non smelly loos? As soon as he has "performed" he flushes (while still sitting) and the smell is kept to a minimum.

Can't believed I have just written that but there seems to be no such thing as Overshare on MN

OP posts:

bigchris · 13/05/2009 17:47

oh yes i do tht in hotel rooms and at work
then flush again after wiping
people must think I'm mad

PrimulaVeris · 13/05/2009 17:53

Oh god this thread is wonderful. Dh's morning visit is 20 mins minimum, he takes his laptop too.

DS takes his ds and reading material and sits for similar period

I often feel that the bathroom needs to have a row of loos, one for each member of the family to sit on side by side. With a games console and bookshelf/magazine rack too.

NorbertDentressangle · 13/05/2009 17:56

I really cannot believe people take their laptops in

PrimulaVeris · 13/05/2009 17:58

DH loves his laptop when on the loo, keeps his cockles warm

he likes to deal with particularly annoying emails whilst on the loo, he says it just gives him a bit of extra pleasure to respond to certain PITA individuals whilst crapping

BigBellasBeerBelly · 13/05/2009 18:14

Oh god mine does this.

Why? Why do they do it? And why is it he heads off just when I say after getting DD into her shoes and coat etc "right let's go"?

DD goes and hammers on the door with a magazine for him which is quite sweet...

Although personally I think reading on the bog is disgusting.

I honestly have no idea why he takes so long, and why he insists on going "just in case" and trying to force one out. It's all very odd.

Is it partly because many men have a horror of trying to crap in a public toilet? Or are they all simply constipated?

Makeda · 13/05/2009 19:44

DH also uses his 'loo time' to call his mother, poor woman. Before we lived together he used to do this to me too - I find it really unpleasant so soon put a stop to it!

Makeda · 13/05/2009 19:46

Having said that, my mum sometimes goes for a wee while on the phone to me because she's so busy and has to multi-task, so I can understand. I think it's the pooing bit that gets to me

Makeda · 13/05/2009 19:48

Sorry to blather on, but I have a theory that men spend ages because sitting on the loo is a little bit of a novelty. Women do it every time so it's got boring!

BigBellasBeerBelly · 13/05/2009 19:54

Makeda I am going to take the bull by the horns and ask DH as soon as he is off the phone if that is why he does it

And demand an explanation.

The problem is I have tried before, and he just looks worried and starts apologising every time he goes for a shit, the poor devil.

Anyway one more try won't hurt!

princessmel · 13/05/2009 19:55

LOL this is so funny!
dh doesn't take too long but the smell...it's horrific.
He does the flush before wiping too. (sorry for saying all this dh)

I have done the reading the shampoo/toothpaste thing too.

ridingjoker · 13/05/2009 20:00

oh dear..... i have 2 lo's. i like to read a novel on the loo as its the only time i get peace to actually read it. okok. so i read it in bath too. and when on the loo it's lucky if i read half a page.

but.... come on out the woodwork. i know 3 other ladies who do this. and we..erm..swap books

so where's the other mn ladies who do this??

Original poster

MmeLindt · 13/05/2009 20:47

Well, I do admit to reading on the loo and MNing there too (on iPhone).

I do sometimes wee when on the phone but that is more because of my slightly less taut pelvic floor. When a gals gotta go and all that...

OP posts:

LibrasBiscuitsOfFortune · 13/05/2009 21:19

I was peeing whilst on the phone to work once, the horrified bloke at the other end asked if I was in the toilet, I said yes as it was the only quiet place in the pub

I read on the loo occasionally but we usually leave the window in there open and it's quite cold.

CoteDAzur · 13/05/2009 21:22

Masturbating?

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