AIBU: seething at the 'no kids' instruction

[Mummyisamonster]

Hi there, I have a bit of a family thang going on & need to check if I'm being totally awkward or entirely reasonable before I say anything.

DH's family have a family wedding coming up soon. My in-laws planned to invite the family of the bride over, with all of the extended family, for a big get-together on a weekend day at their house. All good.

Now the plan has changed and instead we're all going out to a local restaurant instead. The kids are NOT invited (they were invited to the do at their house). The expectation is for us to get a babysitter (in laws are picking up the tab at the restaurant.)My children are little, 3 & 5, and I work during the week so I don't really want to leave them with a babysitter to spend a large chunk of a day at a restaurant.

I can see why kids aren't invited (it's not just mine, there's another younger child in the family too)as my two would get bored easily but I'm just a bit miffed. DH has asked me to go, and not kick off but inwardly I'm seething.

Any thoughts/advice? AIBU?

Ta

MissSunny - you manage to get out once or twice and week and away twice a week for a short break? Do you know how many other people don't get anything like that?!

I guess if you don't have problems getting babysitters it can be tempting to assume that everyone else is as lucky as you and be rather dismissive of their difficulties.

FAO Eyeballwhatyerface....that was a bit rude and uncalled for, my family are perfectly lovely thank you, we just don't all assume that everyone finds our children as fascinating as we do!

Nice party you'd be having, oh heres an opportunity to meet your new in laws, we are so fabulously child obsessed that I insist you get to know my 3 year old who has been cooped up in a stuffy restaurant for 2 hours and fed chocolate ice-cream and told he can't run around. Do sit there and have a good chat with him as he is equally important as everyone else in the family, and therefore must be present and the centre of attention at all gatherings purporting to be family events.

I would so not want to be the new in laws there!

Oh and the question of "should the rules of courtesy be different for kids"?
Well yes, if they are 3, and could not care less if they have been invited to one party and then not to another, what with being 3 and all!

their do their say - HOWEVER - they changed the invite so they have put you at a disadvantge. I'd resent the change at short notice but fully understand why they said no kids.

I find all these kids not invited threads to be a load of hot air. If you can't bear the thought of being separated from your kids for an afternoon/ evening or you can't get a babysitter or you really don't want to go to the social occasion you politely decline, maybe just 1 half of the couple goes. Otherwise you sort out babysitters and go.
The people having the social occasion choose who to invite, the people invited choose whether to go.
It's just 1 day in a lifetime, it really shouldn't become that big an issue.