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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

to want Formula Feeding Mums to QUIT calling my BF dd tiny

136 replies

AntiAnti · 07/05/2009 17:25

!

Nearly everytime we meet someone with a dc the same age as dd, they comment on how small she is compared to their large child.

She is bang on the 50 centile mark for both height and weight on the breastfed growth charts issued by the World Health Organization (but not on the formula fed charts currently used by the NHS).

The WHO charts plot the growth of normal human growth patterns, not the sped up growth of babies fed on bovine hormone infused milk.

AIBU to want people to be aware that normal-weight breastfed babies are not small for their age?

This is not a rant against FF, just one on those who use this as a benchmark for judging other children.

Ignorance sucks.

OP posts:
kittywise · 09/05/2009 11:50

mummy2isla, what a revolting post. YOU clearly have big issues about not being able to bf. nasty.

Surfermum · 09/05/2009 11:57

I'm not surprised mummy2lisa feels like she does if she had to endure comments like that . And I think your comment that most people who ff don't disapprove of bf is spot on.

madwomanintheattic · 09/05/2009 12:17

i'm stunned that the nhs are wasting money on separate growth charts for bf and ff babies. have they got one for mixed feeding? what about introducing one for those on 1 ff a day and the rest bf? half and half? i wouldn't want any child to be discriminated against, and i neeeeed to know my darling foofoo is being measured accurately agaisnt the right peer group.

surely surely none of us are that sensitive that we are going to weep and wail over an oz or two either way? (re-reads op) ah.

nuts.

ds1 was a bf heffalump that the even the paed called 'fatso'. and oddly, i just shrugged that the notes from my six week check (lol, i didn't even have one but needed my notes for something else later)said that i had not managed to bf and so ds was ff... like heck he was.

some of you lot are way too sensitive. who gives a monkeys how big your baby is and how you feed it. (oh, the ones who use the term 'bovine infused' lol.)

hilariously uptight.

i freely wander around the world saying 'oh, she's so diddy!' and 'goodness me, what a sturdy girl you are' - it's not a comment on parenting choices lol.

lunamoon2 · 09/05/2009 13:30

Madwoman do you not thing it is insulting to call someone "a sturdy girl" or "diddy"?
Quite often I think things, but wouldn't dream of screaming at a fat person "Who ate all the pies you fat sod!"
Just my opinion, perhaps clouded by being tall as a child and though never fat, desperate to be just medium so as to fit in iyswim.

madwomanintheattic · 10/05/2009 16:21

um, no. but i'm talking about babies in particular - the subject of the thread lol. not even i wander the world pointing at obese teenagers and hurling abuse. not sure where i mentioned screaming 'who ate all the pies' to an adult either... perhaps i wasn't clear enough that my comments were directed only at babies lol. (and only those who i come into contact with lol - i don't stalk women in waitrose and pass my verdict on their tots lol)

dd1 was tres, er, 'robust'. and like i said earlier, even the paed called ds1 'fatso' when he had double pneumonia. (i think it was the two inches of fat overhanging his knees that did it lol) i rather took it as a compliment on my uber-mammaries, which is probably where the OP has a problem tbh. i have to confess that my kids (as babies) have all been on the stocky side. never fat once weaned, but undoubtedly 'solid' lol. i remember having near hysterics at the inane coffee morning type who gasped in horror as dd1 crawled towards her, and eventually squawked 'what enormous hands she's got!' very funny.

am i insulting the babies? no. but if offence is taken by the mummies, then clearly i would be careful not to make similar small talk in the future, however friendly my initial motives were lol. and tbh i probably wouldn't bother to hang around such sensitive types either... nothing wrong in being uber-sensitive, but it's quite high maintenance to be around sometimes. i really don't have any problems with people commenting on how big a tot is within normal limits lol. clearly if a child was outside those normal limits (ie failure to thrive or obese) then it would be in particularly bad taste to make a comment.

likewise as children get older it's irrelevant really, you can make small talk about brownies, ballet, rock climbing or SATs lol. there's only so much you can say when presented proudly with yet another small offspring - 'oh, it's a baby' lol. i daren't say 'omg what a hideous pink frilly dress' (i think it quite a lot, which probably does make me a horrible person tbh...)

i can't think of anything more normal than discussing size and weight with a bunch of mums eating biscuits lol. if it's not how porky my child is, it's how porky i am, and how if anyone sees me eating another chocolate brownie, to call the diet police.

one of my favourite memories is of a mum round the corner introducing me to her (let's be frank, titchy) newborn son (5 lb 5) saying 'this is x, he's like a baby, only smaller'). the next conversation was about how quickly she was back in her jeans. (about 6 hours lol).

society fixated on size? quite probably.

me insulting? er, no. some babies are diddy. and some are, erm, sturdy. give it 3 or 4 years, and the mummies won't be queuing up at the hv every week to check how heavy/ long their darlings are anyway. i'm not sure why commenting on a baby's size is insulting, when it's the raison d'etre of the (apparently welcomed) growth chart in any case lol.

mummy2isla · 10/05/2009 16:59

Sorry kittywise but I don't see why you think my post was revolting!! I think bf is amazing and have just been at a maternity ward trying to help my friend to get hers to latch on. I just think that people who ff often don't do it out of choice - I HATED switching to formula but had to (having had la leche, nct and even a doula trying to get mine to latch on followed by a spell in hospital cos she was so dehydrated). And yes so I guess I do have "issues about not being able to bf" in that I am still very pro-bf but don't think you should beat yourself up if you can't do it, and I also don't think anyone should criticise another mother's behaviour!!

Is kittywise the OP???

I do think that the OP is rude and pretty stupid and if someone who feels like I did when I first had to start ff Isla then she will make them feel depressed!

kittywise · 10/05/2009 18:06

No mummy2isla, if took the time to go to the start of this thread it would be very easy to see that I am not the Op.
The whole tone of that post was nasty and rude ," silly cow" is what you called the op, lovely

Eve4Walle · 10/05/2009 18:16

YABU and your baby must be a PFB.

My DD (my 2nd baby) is a chubba and has been FF because I couldn't make enough milk, but he takes after his father's side and they are all largeish. He's happy, healthy and doing everything he should be. I can see this so don't need to take him to the clinic every week to be weighed.

BTW - I did encouter people who thought 8lb 3oz was a 'whopping size', but couldn't be bothered to point out that this is not the case. Not when 7lb 7oz (my DDs weight at birth) is the average and he was only a bit larger!

Hulababy · 10/05/2009 18:29

How on earth do you know that every person who has made sucha comment is giving their child formula?

They are just commenting. I am sure they are not saying it to upset you or in anyway to be unplasant.

Is your DD smaller than their child? If yes then they are soimply making a comparison - as many people do every day of their lives.

YABU.

Hulababy · 10/05/2009 18:30

"The WHO charts plot the growth of normal human growth patterns, not the sped up growth of babies fed on bovine hormone infused milk.

This is not a rant against FF, ... ""

Oh dear, this is so definitely an anti FF thread!!!

MollieO · 10/05/2009 18:39

Does it matter and how would they know you bf? I did a mix of bf and ff and ds was actually off the bottom of the weight chart for a long time (and at the top of the height chart so he looked extremely thin). I didn't like but got used to the 'what is wrong with him?' comments.

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