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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

to want Formula Feeding Mums to QUIT calling my BF dd tiny

136 replies

AntiAnti · 07/05/2009 17:25

Nearly everytime we meet someone with a dc the same age as dd, they comment on how small she is compared to their large child.

She is bang on the 50 centile mark for both height and weight on the breastfed growth charts issued by the World Health Organization (but not on the formula fed charts currently used by the NHS).

The WHO charts plot the growth of normal human growth patterns, not the sped up growth of babies fed on bovine hormone infused milk.

AIBU to want people to be aware that normal-weight breastfed babies are not small for their age?

This is not a rant against FF, just one on those who use this as a benchmark for judging other children.

Ignorance sucks.

OP posts:

cuntish · 07/05/2009 19:59

but your baby IS tiny! just because she is 50% on one chart does not change that. She is tiny compared to most other babies (which is why it gets mentioned)

I sympahtise in a way as my ds is tiny too compared to other babies. I feed him on bovine bollocks so cant use the BF chart to start a rant, but I have discovered he's exactly 50% for weight and height on the Charlie and the Chocolate Factory 'oompaloompa' chart so I will wave that in anyones face who dares to comment on him in future

mousemole · 07/05/2009 19:59

this is a horrible post. You are being a breast feeding nazi. My DS1 was 9lbs, breast fed for a year and stayed in the 99th percentile for height and weight. Oh, and so did Ds2, who was also 9lbs but was formula fed 'bovine hormone filled' milk. In fact, he wasn't fed that, he was fed an Neocate which due to his severe allergies has no 'bovine' ingredients at all. Get your head out of your breastfeeding butt.

chequersmate · 07/05/2009 20:02

Cuntish, I very much like the cut of your jib.

fledtoscotland · 07/05/2009 20:04

YABU and very obnoxious.

How do you know that these mums are FF and not just giving EBM in a bottle? Formula isnt glowing with hormones. it looks the same as EBM

StealthPolarPig · 07/05/2009 20:08

mousemole I don't agree with the OP but that was uncalled for.
OP YABabitU (haven't read entire thread so apologies if you've already said that). I think you're projecting your hang ups on other people - people like to have something to say about babies, if they were commenting on how undernourished he seemed I'd agree with you. Just say truthfully "Oh no, he's bang on average" if they do it again.

Marthasmama · 07/05/2009 20:09

Cuntish - Could I get a copy of the Oompaloompa chart? I think maybe on that chart I won't be a fat short arse. It might help my confidence!

StealthPolarPig · 07/05/2009 20:11

do you use a lot of fake tan too?
By oompaloompa standards I will be a giant, but probably average weight (as I'm overweight but 5'8)

hazeyjane · 07/05/2009 20:18

Dd1 - 9th - 25 th centile for first year, everyone said how tiny she was, because she was, she looked delicate and elfin. (shes now 3 and average)

dd2 - 75th - 91st centile for first year, everyone said how big she was, and she was with roly poly thighs and dimples everywhere.(shes now 2 and average)

they were both formula fed (much easier to say than 'bovine hormone infused milk' - fact!)

When I meet another mum I often comment on their child's appearance, height, hair, eyes, because I don't know anything else about their child but what i can see. My comments are always complimentary smalltalk, so I would guess that most of the comments you are reacting to are meant in the same way.

jemart · 07/05/2009 20:24

YABU, my baby is bf and on 75th centile of NHS chart for weight and 90th for height, both DH and I are very tall so makes total sense that my baby will be larger. By that same token if your baby is smaller than most I'd guess your are possibly quite petite?

jellybeans · 07/05/2009 20:24

People make out my baby is a porker!!! Hi is bf and on a low centile!

fizzpops · 07/05/2009 20:26

Well my DD was (and still is as far as I know) on the 98th centile and I still got comments about how small she was from one particular mother, and how nice it was to see a 'dainty' girl. Her son apparently was really tall - not so you would notice when they were sat side by side.

They were both ff for what it is worth.

I do agree comments can be irritating but one thing it took me a long while to realise is that although my DD may not be the first/ best/ sleepiest/ heaviest etc she is really the only baby I have any interest in in terms of getting excited about her progress. I just concentrate on her now and I am much happier for it. When I think people are trying to compare I feel sorry for them that they can't feel joy in their own baby without trying to make someone else feel bad.

Anyway who says tiny is wrong?

LadyAga · 07/05/2009 20:31

don't be such a cow about FF.

As vegan I am still traumatised that I was unable to BF, it makes me sick to feed my baby formula but what choice do I have.

Don't be pissed off that people are commenting on your baby and then be judgemental in return.

For what it's worth my baby is enormous and doesn't even plot on the growth chart anymore, it's all people talk and comment on and no I don't like it. But people are just making conversation and babies don't do much so there's very little to start a conversation about with someone you don't know.

lobsters · 07/05/2009 20:32

People are always saying my formula fed is tiny, and she is, at 9th centile. But doesn't bother me in the slightest. She is tiny, cute and gorgeous.

cory · 07/05/2009 20:37

Exclusively breastfed dd was tiny. But that's because she was undernourished. She ended up in hospital.

Unpredictable things, babies.

CDMforever · 07/05/2009 20:44

Oh dear, its the breast versus bottle debate AGAIN! I breast-fed DS1 and bottle fed DS2 and DD1. All are perfectly healthy, bright children. I was made to feel, and probably made myself feel, like an inferior, negligent mother when I chose to bottle feed. I chose the first time as DS2 was prem and wouldn't latch on. And with DD1 I decided bottle feeding would be best for everyone.
Surely the only negligent thing is to not feed your baby at all?

screamingabdab · 07/05/2009 20:49

LadyAga "don't be such a cow about FF"

LadyAga · 07/05/2009 20:51

ba ha ha ha .... can I pretend I did that on purpose?!

Marthasmama · 07/05/2009 20:56

Stealth - The only time I ever used fake tan it did make me go orange! I am a pasty white Oompaloompa. I have got a green quiff though.

wolfnipplechips · 07/05/2009 20:58

OP if you've got issues with your baby being tiny then don't project them onto others.

I always comment on tiny babies mainly because i am . Mine were so big the could practically get themselves a drink when they were born. Having said that a chubby baby makes me weak at the knees and i can't help put comment on those fabulous rolls of fat around their wrists. I would never make assumptions about whether a baby was bf or not based on their weight, some of the biggest babies i have ever seen were bf.

Get over yourself and perhaps get yourself a therapist, I think you have ishoos.

sparklycheerymummy · 07/05/2009 21:00

am confused by all the abbreviations.....
AIBU
YABU
YABVU
YANBU

???????????? SORRY THIS DISCUSSION IS INTERESTING BUT i DON'T GET THE LINGO.

Marthasmama · 07/05/2009 21:03

Am I Being Unreasonable
You are being unreasonable
You are being Very unreasonable
You are not being unreasonable.

HTH heh heh heh

independiente · 07/05/2009 21:03

Good news that the NHS charts are incorporating advice from the WHO. About time.

Baisey · 07/05/2009 21:06

Ugh my DS was fed on formula and we always got the "ohhh he's so tiny, what a dot" comments, so I guess its not really anything to do with whether you bf or ff its if you have a small baby or not.
The comments ARE annoying though.
But then again Im betting the "oh wow what a big boy/girl" comments are just as annoying.

sparklycheerymummy · 07/05/2009 21:08

oh and i tried bf and the feeling made me sick... my dd was ff and was tall and underweight for her length but always had a gorgeous chunky face so people said she looked healthy (fat!!) as long as a baby is fed and doesnt go hungry who cares. My dds little friend was bf and was a real cutey chunk!!!

sparklycheerymummy · 07/05/2009 21:09

thanks for the help with the lingo .... havent been on here for ages.

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