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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to want Formula Feeding Mums to QUIT calling my BF dd tiny

136 replies

AntiAnti · 07/05/2009 17:25

!

Nearly everytime we meet someone with a dc the same age as dd, they comment on how small she is compared to their large child.

She is bang on the 50 centile mark for both height and weight on the breastfed growth charts issued by the World Health Organization (but not on the formula fed charts currently used by the NHS).

The WHO charts plot the growth of normal human growth patterns, not the sped up growth of babies fed on bovine hormone infused milk.

AIBU to want people to be aware that normal-weight breastfed babies are not small for their age?

This is not a rant against FF, just one on those who use this as a benchmark for judging other children.

Ignorance sucks.

OP posts:
drowninginclutter · 07/05/2009 18:18

Parenting by growth chart is always going to end in tears.

DS went up through the centiles causing all the HVs I saw to say I was overfeeding him. He then slid back down a fair bit which made them ask if I was giving him enough. With hindsight I should have just had him weighed less regularly.

The correct response is 'my DS/DD is utterly perfect exactly as they are'

lockets · 07/05/2009 18:19

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

Jaquelinehyde · 07/05/2009 18:23

How the hell do you know that everyone who comments on your precious and tiny baby are ffers.

Do they now have to wear cow bells or something?

I have a neice and a nephew born 3 weeks apart both breast fed for min six months. One is huge, I mean massive. The other a tiny little pixie.

Both get many many comments about size and neither mothers give a toss.

It's called friendly chatter.

Get a grip woman.

missmapp · 07/05/2009 18:24

Both my ds' are small for their age, and yes, the comments do grate after a while, but I dont think it has anything to do with Bf or FF. Both mine were bf for 6mths, but others who were bf for the same amount of time or for longer, are bigger. It has more to do with the fact that dh and i are small than anything else.
Children are all different and you just have to learn to put up with the comments

themildmanneredjanitor · 07/05/2009 18:28

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

foxytocin · 07/05/2009 18:30

moondog has big bollocks. she'd never namechange to rant.

lambanana · 07/05/2009 18:30

YABU.

I assume then that you are planning to breastfeed your LO until their 18th birthday so that no bovine hormone infused milk touches their lips.

I take it from your nasty rant OP that no BF mothers have commented on how tiny your LO is? Just the FF mothers?

southeastastra · 07/05/2009 18:34

yeah sorry moony

pointydog · 07/05/2009 18:45

get over it. I thought you didn't like unsubstantiated comments. I doubt all, if any, were making a scathing attack on bfers

YorkshireRose · 07/05/2009 18:45

Oh no, not the baby weight Olympics, boring boring boring!

Weight charts are the spawn of Satan! Ignore them!

cory · 07/05/2009 18:45

lol at jaqueline's cowbells

SummatAnNowt · 07/05/2009 18:51

My bf baby was born weighing 12lb 4oz and stayed right up in his centile! ALL babies were tiny to me!

SarfEast · 07/05/2009 18:52

Lots of people make rather thoughtless remarks about babies, I used to get upset when people said my LO was huge, made me feel like they thought she was a freak. I'm over it now though. Still get a bit pissed off by the anti-red barbs though, but heh, I try to remain calm.

chequersmate · 07/05/2009 18:58

You've been told your DD is tiny? And that gets you worked up?

Try being told your baby girl is 'fat'.

Martha200 · 07/05/2009 19:02

OP - dc1 was ff, he was always getting comments on how big he was from mothers who ff or bf.

dc2 - when bf, got comments on how long he took to feed, and that was from bf mothers vocal observations, and also how long he was, that was from ff and bf mothers and complete strangers... I just put it down to small chatter.

Ignorant comments? Don't blame the mothers. HVs are obsessed with weight charts and babies, and it rubs off on many mothers. How do you know that the mothers who comment are not quietly overconcerned about their own baby's weight and they are not actually judging your baby?

Sorrento · 07/05/2009 19:04

I have over the years been told my precious babies "look like a boy" dressed in pale yellow with pink hearts on, are fat (well she was chubby but even so) and has got better looking with age
Just ignore the ignorant fuckers people, as my husband always says, most people are really, really thick.

frasersmummy · 07/05/2009 19:11

my son was born slightly early as he wasnt gaining weight as he should before he was born

Therefore compared to most babies his age he was small. I got aww he's tiny a lot

I cant say as it ever bothered me. I never thought they wre thinking oh you are starving him. I do remember after one shopping trip thinking god if one more person says that to me today I will scream but then people were smiling at my baby and saying aww..made me feel special

FairLadyRantALot · 07/05/2009 19:17

Sorrento...my friend was asked, when she had her little Boy....her Babydaughter was dressed in a ratehr frilly girly dress ...

many people commented on what a pretty Babygirl my ds2 was....even if he was as boyish dressed as can be.......but then he was a very pretty Baby, petite, big eyes, big pouty mouth ....lol, life is to short to get upset about these things...

thatsnotmymonster · 07/05/2009 19:36

everyone comments on how small my 2 dds are. My ds (now 4 and average size) was also small but everyone commented on how big he was (think because he had a big head and lors of hair )

Anyway all 3 were BF till 6mo then FF. Made no difference to their growth, that's just the way they are. I like the fact that they are small and cute, doesn't bother me at all when people comment.

I have been occasionally slightly concerned about dd1 who is tiny but that's just being a mum. She is actually fine and healthy

I think you are being VU. People seem to get so het up about their dc's being commented on, looked at, chatted too or touched. Maybe you should just stay in and avoid people.

nickytwotimes · 07/05/2009 19:40

Yabu for your very inflammatory op.

They are not commenting on your feeding method, they are making banal small talk. I got sick of hearing about how enormous my baby was, but I knew it was no criticism of my method of feeding ffs.

Fwiw, ds and his best pal were the same size throughout babyhood despite on being bf and the other ff. However, we do have the dual chart system here, which is good imo.

RumourOfAHurricane · 07/05/2009 19:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

chequersmate · 07/05/2009 19:47

Re: the dual chart system - how does it work with mixed fed babies?

I'm curious because DD was mixed fed practically from birth up until 6 months and I never really knew which chart applied.

LackaDAISYcal · 07/05/2009 19:50

Pats her 75th centile exclusively BF baby on the tummy

Not all BF babies are teeny!

Your title and OP are a very inflammatory (although surely All the babies that you meet can't be FF ) and as you have been told the charts are based on a mix of babies. Go and get your facts straight first and think on that maybe they are just saying something for the sake of saying something; people do it all the time!

It would be nice to see your usual name though......or are you scared that your views on FF are going to get you the right royal pasting that you deserve? Do bugger off, there's a love!

madlentileater · 07/05/2009 19:56

have not read whole thread but this tues on PM (R4)there was a piece saying govt was introducing new growth charts, based on exclusively bf babies, partly to address people's feeling that bf babies are gaining weight 'too slowly'- but also in an attempt to more quickly identify obesity, apparently the effect will be to double the numbers of babies considered overweight at 12 mths. Presumably these will mostly be FF babies. The Dr they spoke to said something along the lines of they had hesitated o do this before but evidence of better health in bf babies now so overwhelming it was only sensible thing to do.

chequersmate · 07/05/2009 19:58

Oh fark. Don't suppose you know what weight is considered overweight at 12 months do you MLE?

My DD is 85th centile but considering she was on the 98th when born and still isn't moving yet I didn't think that was bad. I look forward to being told she is overweight though

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