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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell them both to piss off,

153 replies

WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 13:24

On Saturday a neighbours cat ran out from underneath a parked car under my wheels as i pulled off my drive, I'd estimate i was doing about 10 mph, if that. I didnt even see the cat, i just heard it if you know what i mean. I feel bloody awfull about it.

I went and told the owner immediatly, helped he catch the cat and offered to take her anywhere she needed to go, of course i said sorry about a million times and was crying as felt so bad about it. She said she was waiting for it to happen as the cat had been hit before and had no road sense. The cat was a bit of a PITA tbh and i know several of the other neighbours have had near misses.

I went back a few hours later and the cat had had to be put to sleep i appologised again, i didnt offer to pay any vets fees as tbh i thought it wouldnt have cost that much to have him pts and presumed she'd have been insured.

Fast forward to last night and we get a knock on the door, we're in out nightclothes just about to go to bed. Df answers the door and there is some bloke we're never seen before stood there shouting and yelling about how we should have offered to pay the vets bills, the cats owner is a single woman etc etc etc.

I think said person was expecting me to answer the door but Dfs did and he's a big 6footer who looks hard ( but is soft as they come ) so i get the feeling he wanted to have a go at me and when he say it was df he ranted for a minute, called us fuckers and started walking away.

I got dressed and went round there, spoke to her, appologised again and said of course we'll contribute something by way of a sincere appology but we wont be paying the whole bill.

Then bloke started shouting at me again and dragged the girl inside saying i wasn't worth speakng to..

i am tempted to tell them both to piss off now. It was an accident and i have been grown up enought to hold my hands up to it, i could have just driven off but i choe to do the right thing and for tht i have been abused on my doorstep and shouted at in the street. It's like money with menaces and i'm not easily intimidated.

The cat apparently wasn't insured, the bill was aparently £200..

what would you do ?

OP posts:
RealityIsMyOnlyDelusion · 05/05/2009 13:26

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MarlaSinger · 05/05/2009 13:26

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OrmIrian · 05/05/2009 13:26

£200! To put cat to sleep

I think bloke was trying to pull a fast one TBH. It cost us less than £40. Sounds to me as if he wasn't happy that the woman has accepted an apology and demanded nothing else.

OrmIrian · 05/05/2009 13:27

And he sounded more het up about the money than the poor cat

gardeningmum05 · 05/05/2009 13:27

firstly, phone a vet and ask them what the cost is to have a cat put down, surely its not that much

bumpyboo · 05/05/2009 13:27

Just out of interest, why don't you feel you should pay the whole bill?

ConnorTraceptive · 05/05/2009 13:27

I would definately tell them to get lost! I have two cats and would in no way have held you responsible. Tell them if they continue to harrass you, you will call the police

rubyslippers · 05/05/2009 13:27

what a horrid over reaction

i would be tempted to not pay after all that - if you do pay out then ask to see a receipt for a breakdown

liahgen · 05/05/2009 13:28

tbh, cat should have been insured imo. If you keep a cat that goes outside, then you should be responsible and insure it. At some time it's highly likely it'll come a cropper.

Tell him to get lost. You offered in the first instance, she refused. I bet she's mortified at his attitude, (am assuming she is a normal human being. )

5inthebed · 05/05/2009 13:28

Why should she pay? It was an accident. I'd offer to contribute a bit but not foot the whole bill.

Not your fault the cat wasn't insured.

MarlaSinger · 05/05/2009 13:28

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Lulumama · 05/05/2009 13:28

i would not go round again as he is clearly spoiling for a fight. perhaps a letter expressing your deepest apologies, reiterating it ws totally accidental, and will contribue a token amount out of goodwill ? but you don;t apprecaite being threatened and sworn at but you appreciate they are obviously distressed

i agree that him coming round and calling you f*ckers does not make you want to help

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 13:29

well because it wasnt my fault and it wasnt my cat !

i'd have gladly contributed but i'm not being bullied in to it..

OP posts:
RumourOfAHurricane · 05/05/2009 13:29

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herbietea · 05/05/2009 13:29

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Lizzylou · 05/05/2009 13:30

Her cat, her vets bill.
It was an accident and if it happened to me, I would offer to pay half the vets bill, which you did and she refused.
It was no way £200 imo

FrankMustard · 05/05/2009 13:30

YANBU, I would stick with your idea and you mnight be better off not offering and contributing anything simply because they might try and suggest that you have offered to pay full stop (if they're that determined to claim the costs).
If they're determined to be horrible about it, forget it and just steer well clear of them so as to avoid any nasty shouting matches in the street!
They should have had the cat insured - that's what people with pets have to do if there's a chance they will have vet bills....not your fault the cat ran out under your tyres and if you'd been Joe Bloggs driving down a main street, they never would have known who had hit the cat and would have had to find it in a hedge somewhere.
You went to tell the owner as soon as it happened and now the thanks you get is them trying to lumber you with a vets bill!
Good luck!

MarlaSinger · 05/05/2009 13:32

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ConnorTraceptive · 05/05/2009 13:32

You can give your neighbour one of mine as compensation if you like. herbie you're welcome to the other one

JoPie · 05/05/2009 13:32

Not your fault at all, I wouldn't be paying the bill anyway!
Cats roam about the street, jump under your wheels, its not pleasent if an accident happens but its just what happens. The cats owner should have insurance for it.
Even if I had any inclination to pay towards the cost, that kind of threatening and ridiculous behaviour would certainly have changed my mind.
YANBU.

MarlaSinger · 05/05/2009 13:35

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stoppinattwo · 05/05/2009 13:35

If it cost that much which I doubt very much it is their cat and as such their responsibility.....and the fact that it was sooooo much is also their fault as they did not have pet insurance.

I am sorry for you for the way you have been made to feel, and I am very sorry for the cat

ConnorTraceptive · 05/05/2009 13:35

The footbal incident is different marla because that is carelessness. Backing out of your driveway at a slow speed whilst a cat launches itself at your wheels is not.

I have seen the way my two twat about on the roads and tbh I'm surprised neither has been hit yet

GetOrfMoiLand · 05/05/2009 13:35

Think that it is completely unreasonable for the bloke to come around having a go. Imagine if you had been there on your own. I am quite capable of sticking up for myself but I certainly would hate the thought of some strange bloke yelling at me on my doorstep.

Aside from all that, I do think that it would be the right thing to do to pay for the cat the whole cost for the cat to be put to sleep. But £200? I think that is far too much (unless there was some treatment perhaps beforehand). I think to put a cat to sleep can't cost more than 50 quid. But what can you do? If you ask for a copy of the vet's bill to check the cost Mr Mouthy will come round shouting the odds again. So in this case I would leave it and not pay a thing, or as some other posters suggested and give a cheque for a token amount.. Bloody horrible siutation though, and makes life awkward.

FrankMustard · 05/05/2009 13:35

Hold on everyone - the OP said that after the accident she helped the owner catch the cat, so the cat wasn't killed immediately!

It's a shame and it's sad but it wasn't her fault - she offered to contribute and if the owners are going to have a cat, they need to know that there's always a chance with cats that they're going to get hit by a car (I don't know any of my cat owning freinds who haven't lost at least one cat this way) and so that should be it.

If they want to pursue it, that's their decision but I don't feel the OP should be chastised for not offering to pay the full bill in the first place, when the cat was moving about enough for them to have to catch it!