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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To tell them both to piss off,

153 replies

WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 13:24

On Saturday a neighbours cat ran out from underneath a parked car under my wheels as i pulled off my drive, I'd estimate i was doing about 10 mph, if that. I didnt even see the cat, i just heard it if you know what i mean. I feel bloody awfull about it.

I went and told the owner immediatly, helped he catch the cat and offered to take her anywhere she needed to go, of course i said sorry about a million times and was crying as felt so bad about it. She said she was waiting for it to happen as the cat had been hit before and had no road sense. The cat was a bit of a PITA tbh and i know several of the other neighbours have had near misses.

I went back a few hours later and the cat had had to be put to sleep i appologised again, i didnt offer to pay any vets fees as tbh i thought it wouldnt have cost that much to have him pts and presumed she'd have been insured.

Fast forward to last night and we get a knock on the door, we're in out nightclothes just about to go to bed. Df answers the door and there is some bloke we're never seen before stood there shouting and yelling about how we should have offered to pay the vets bills, the cats owner is a single woman etc etc etc.

I think said person was expecting me to answer the door but Dfs did and he's a big 6footer who looks hard ( but is soft as they come ) so i get the feeling he wanted to have a go at me and when he say it was df he ranted for a minute, called us fuckers and started walking away.

I got dressed and went round there, spoke to her, appologised again and said of course we'll contribute something by way of a sincere appology but we wont be paying the whole bill.

Then bloke started shouting at me again and dragged the girl inside saying i wasn't worth speakng to..

i am tempted to tell them both to piss off now. It was an accident and i have been grown up enought to hold my hands up to it, i could have just driven off but i choe to do the right thing and for tht i have been abused on my doorstep and shouted at in the street. It's like money with menaces and i'm not easily intimidated.

The cat apparently wasn't insured, the bill was aparently £200..

what would you do ?

OP posts:
maqrollelgaviero · 05/05/2009 14:06

In general though surely if you can't afford to look after a pet; food, insurance, pets bills included then you shouldn't have the sort of pet that roams all over the place unsupervised and that can quite possibly cause and get into accidents?

The op can't possibly be held responsible for someone elses cat, especially as she was on her own drive! If I was in the situation described I would have done the same as the op, and if someone had run over my cat I'd be very grateful if they told me and helped me catch him but never expect them to contribute to my bills and I wouldn't accept if they did offer.

pellmell · 05/05/2009 14:06

"well, you killed the cat, you should pay bill imho".
The cat killed itself!

ClaireDeLoon · 05/05/2009 14:06

I'm a cat owner and have sadly had one of mine killed on the road. I consider them to be my responsibility, so I pay the vets bills if anything happens to them. I would not dream of asking anyone else to contribute. YANBU. I hope they leave you alone they sound awful.

Oh and with regard to the vets bills being £200 maybe the vet tried to treat the cat first before she was put to sleep? That cpuld explain the bill being high perhaps?

ObsidianBlackbirdMcNight · 05/05/2009 14:08

Not your responsibility to pay the vet's bill at all. I can't understand why people think it is. Pets are an expense that some people choose to have, if you didn't choose to have the cat, you should not be expected to pay for it, esp as you were not responsible.
Ignore the man, maybe post the woman a card and £20 if you can afford it as half the going rate for putting down only if you feel like it. If you feel like doing nothing of the sort after being yelled at and abused - you are quite right not to.

LauriefairycakeeatsCupid · 05/05/2009 14:08

Of course you shouldn't pay anything. If an animal runs into your wheels as you are legally driving from your drive it is the cat and the owners responsibility.

"That's why they are called accidents and not 'on purposes' " Judge Judy

JustCallMeGoat · 05/05/2009 14:08

next time reverse back over it and save all this agro

FrankMustard · 05/05/2009 14:09

You'll have to let us know how you get on.
I'm amazed that this guy is hassling you when the owner herself said to you she'd been waiting for this moment to happen as her cat has no road sense and also esp when the cat had to be caught right afterwards, so it wasn't as if it was squished by your car immediately. Good luck!

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 14:12

I kind of wish i'd not even bothered telling her now really

OP posts:
OldLadyKnowsNothing · 05/05/2009 14:19

As almost everyone else has said, you have no legal duty to pay anything towards this bill, and after threats and intimidaion, no moral duty either.

(Cat owner, btw, but I've never had one squished)

FrankMustard · 05/05/2009 14:19

Don't worry any more about it. Leave things as they are and refuse to deal with the horrid guy! Good luck

bronze · 05/05/2009 14:19

justcallme sooo wrong

tattifer · 05/05/2009 14:20

If you ran over a cat in the middle of town, nowhere etc etc then yes the law says that's kind of just tough and you have no responsibility to notify the owner, attempt to find the an owner etc. But the op says it was a neighbours cat - inferring she knew where the owner lived, possibly even knew the owner. Isn't the moral argument (nb not the legal one) a bit different in those circumstances?

If I ran over a friend or neighbour's cat - I'd tell them and offer to pay the bill or at the very least contribute to it.

aristocat · 05/05/2009 14:21

dont change your mind worzsel.

i am a cat owner too and have had one killed in the road. there was no charge at the vets , he was DOA.

£200 cannot be right , doesnt matter anyway because you cant be intimidated by the thug !!

FabulousBakerGirl · 05/05/2009 14:21

Is this thug man her boyfriend?

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 14:27

Doubt it really she seemed quite nice he came accross as a right scrote. I cant imagine them together really.

I think he might be one of the other neighbours. we're in the corner of a cul de sac, we don't really see much of what goes on from here.

OP posts:
AAE · 05/05/2009 14:29

Our cat was put down on a sunday morning - £125 for the out of hours consultation and £25 for the injection...

tattifer · 05/05/2009 14:31

Are you able to talk it through with her rather than cave man? I can see that being bullied into a position makes it a damn site harder to be in that position.

Scrote?! Ha ha ha - you don't wear a uniform to work do you?

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 14:32

not any more but i used to

OP posts:
bumpyboo · 05/05/2009 14:33

Don't think its got anything to do with being legal or not and as far as i know cats aren't generally able to want to kill themselves.
Yes the guy is behaving like a wanker and YANBU to WANT to tell him to pee off. But i think far better to offer to pay the bill, after having checked it, she may refuse anyway, as others have said.

You ran over her cat FCS!

Sassybeast · 05/05/2009 14:34

I think that if you'd offered to make a contribution towards the vet bills at the start, then this possibly wouldn't have blown up with such hostility. Sure she should have had insurance but she didn't. Hopefully she won't be stupid enough to keep another animal. At the end of the day though you are resonsible to some extent for the dead cat and the vets bill. I'd clarify exactly what the treatment costs were and then offer a contribution.

And cats will often jump and run even when fatally injured so I'm not sure why that's seen as significant by some.

My cat was run over but she was fully insured and the woman who did it offered to pay. I declined end of.

Original poster
WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 14:37

I don't want to be paying hundreds of pounds of vets bill which to be honest with you is why my Dogs in insured..

OP posts:
tattifer · 05/05/2009 14:40

WM it's a horrible feeling being cornered into making a decision - cats are real numpties when it comes to cars. If you're able to chat to owner without the rude git anywhere near you'll probably fine she doesn't feel quite so strongly about you paying the bill as he does!

Picante · 05/05/2009 14:41

I think considering all you've been through with your premature ds over the last few months they should not be talking to you like that!

bumpyboo · 05/05/2009 14:42

So you think he might be one of the other neighbours? Presumably he came round to yours off his own bat then? YABU to want to tell them BOTH to piss off, fair enough tell him to MHOB but not her she is not responsible for his actions.

Ripeberry · 05/05/2009 14:43

That £200 bill is far too much, get a copy of the bill if you can. But £40 or £50 seems to be the norm for putting down.
Our neighbours were looking after our chickens when we were on a 3 week holiday once and a cat half mauled one of them.
Our neighbour (bless her) took the chicken to the vet and was told it had to be put down so she coughed up £50.
When we came home we paid her the £50 back straight away and thanked her for being so kind, but it would have been cheaper to wring its neck!
Hope you get this sorted out.