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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

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Original poster

To tell them both to piss off,

153 replies

WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 13:24

On Saturday a neighbours cat ran out from underneath a parked car under my wheels as i pulled off my drive, I'd estimate i was doing about 10 mph, if that. I didnt even see the cat, i just heard it if you know what i mean. I feel bloody awfull about it.

I went and told the owner immediatly, helped he catch the cat and offered to take her anywhere she needed to go, of course i said sorry about a million times and was crying as felt so bad about it. She said she was waiting for it to happen as the cat had been hit before and had no road sense. The cat was a bit of a PITA tbh and i know several of the other neighbours have had near misses.

I went back a few hours later and the cat had had to be put to sleep i appologised again, i didnt offer to pay any vets fees as tbh i thought it wouldnt have cost that much to have him pts and presumed she'd have been insured.

Fast forward to last night and we get a knock on the door, we're in out nightclothes just about to go to bed. Df answers the door and there is some bloke we're never seen before stood there shouting and yelling about how we should have offered to pay the vets bills, the cats owner is a single woman etc etc etc.

I think said person was expecting me to answer the door but Dfs did and he's a big 6footer who looks hard ( but is soft as they come ) so i get the feeling he wanted to have a go at me and when he say it was df he ranted for a minute, called us fuckers and started walking away.

I got dressed and went round there, spoke to her, appologised again and said of course we'll contribute something by way of a sincere appology but we wont be paying the whole bill.

Then bloke started shouting at me again and dragged the girl inside saying i wasn't worth speakng to..

i am tempted to tell them both to piss off now. It was an accident and i have been grown up enought to hold my hands up to it, i could have just driven off but i choe to do the right thing and for tht i have been abused on my doorstep and shouted at in the street. It's like money with menaces and i'm not easily intimidated.

The cat apparently wasn't insured, the bill was aparently £200..

what would you do ?

OP posts:

sleepyeyes · 05/05/2009 19:25

YANBU: Thats why people should have pet insurance you shouldn't have to pay because she couldn't be bothered to get it. Plus it's that cats fault it's dead.
I'd report the guy for harassment, no one has the right to come around and intimidate you in your own home.

lljkk · 05/05/2009 19:27

When I was a little my family had a protective dog who regularly bit people, including a police officer once -- this was in the USA, btw. We never got sued but got hollered at a few times...

Anyway, how can someone let their pet run unsupervised and loose anywhere it might like to wonder, and then hold them liable for harm done by accident (like OP's case)? They can't; if I didn't want that to happen to my cat it'd be a strictly indoors only animal. I would never expect someone else to pay for my negligence in letting it run loose around the neighbourhood.

Besides, pets are expensive; that's just a fact and part of the responsibility of looking after them properly. 200 quid for a vet bill -- if you can't afford that (the "she's a struggling single mother" line, you shouldn't have a pet at all.

Original poster

WorzselMummage · 05/05/2009 20:08

I am glad that most people seem to agree that i am not liable.

It's been going round in my head for days and days

OP posts:

Stayingsunnygirl · 05/05/2009 20:19

PurlyQueen - the £200 is probably the total vet bill, not just the euthanasia!! The vet will probably have had to examine the cat and may well have done tests such as x-rays, or given medication or fluids - all this mounts up very quickly.

And I know it's a side-issue - but does anyone know why insurance companies won't cover the cost of euthanising a sick animal? If it's the best and most humane treatment for the animal, then why isn't it covered in the way that other treatment is? For heaven's sake, my petplan policy covers all sorts of stuff - acupuncture, homeopathy, herbal medicine, chiropractic treatment, physiotherapy and treatment by a pet behavioural counsellor!!

Surely the last thing anyone should be worrying about when they are trying to make the right decision for a seriously ill pet is whether or not they can afford to have the cat euthanised?

StripeyKnickersSpottySocks · 05/05/2009 20:24

Her cat, her bill. Its not even a legal requirement that if you hit a cat you tell the owner (is for dogs but not cats I think). So you didn't even have to have told her, but you did the right thing in telling her so she could find the cat quick.

But its not your fault it was under your car. If you'd been speeding down the street or something it would be different.

When you have a cat you have to be prepared for vets bills. Or get insurance.

chegirl · 05/05/2009 20:45

Why dont you sue her for the trauma caused by her cat throwing itself under the wheels of your car? If some bloke had come round to my house shouting the odds I wouldve been straight on the phone to the old bill. I dont business, me

Seriously , I do not feel you have any moral obligation to pay anything. It was nice of you to offer though.

If she is a reasonable person she is probably mortified at dickhead's behaviour and praying she doesnt have to face you again.

smellen · 05/05/2009 20:49

Haven't got time to read the whole thread, but you could perhaps give the woman a cheque made payable to the cat's protection league (or whatever animal charity you choose), inside a note or card expressing your regret.

But if she sent some gorilla round to try and intimidate you into paying out cash for an inflated vet's bill, I'm afraid she would have lost my sympathy at that point.

Milliways · 05/05/2009 20:54

One of my cats was run over by a young work colleague - his poor face when I answered the door and realised we knew each other.

He too did the right thing in knocking on my door (first my neighbour, then mine) to explain what had happened. I rushed cat to the vet but it didn't make it.

It never crossed my mind to ask the poor traumatised lad for a contribution to the bill though! I was just extremely grateful he did not leave her lying in the road.

ib · 05/05/2009 20:55

Won't your civil liability insurance pay this? It's usually a part of home insurance I think...

Paolosgirl · 06/05/2009 16:17

But wouldn't that put her premiums up?

StealthPolarPig · 06/05/2009 17:02

Interesting how the cat owners on this thread are almost unanimous in saying you shouldn't have to pay

LooptheLoop · 06/05/2009 17:10

Not your cat. Not your fault the accident happened. Not your responsibility to pay.

cheshirekitty · 06/05/2009 22:43

You did the right thing, you informed cats owner of the accident.

Please do not be bullied into paying the vets fees.

MrsMerryHenry · 06/05/2009 22:48

The cat's owner said it was an accident waiting to happen. So she jolly well should have insured the cat.

Poor you, what a horrible situation.

hatesponge · 06/05/2009 22:51

Tell them to poke it. The bill that is, not the cat.

Why on earth should you pay because they're stupid enough to let a cat that had no road sense out (friends have cats like this, so keep them indoors for safety, or just let them out in back garden) AND - having decided to let out a cat that has a high chance of getting run over, don't bother insuring it.

And then to compund all of the above, come round to your house and be rude and aggro about it aswell - despite the fact this situation is much more of their making than yours! you just happened to be in your car at the wrong time!

Their pet, their problem.

As you can probably guess, I'm not a pet owner

samandbeansmum · 06/05/2009 22:59

No way would I pay!! She should have had insurance for her cat. and £200??? Seriously?? The guy sounds like a right knob, best to be avoided.

mrsjammi · 06/05/2009 23:02

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MillyR · 06/05/2009 23:04

I have dogs. I would not expect you to pay anything towards the vet bills should you knock them down.

Joolyjoolyjoo · 06/05/2009 23:12

I'm a vet, so I see this kind of situation all the time. Yeah, the bill could have been £200 IF they did other investigative work first, but that would have been her decision. If she WAS expecting you to pay the bill (which I've never seen- most cat owners whose cats have been hit by cars- including my own!- don't see it as the responsibility of the driver!), then she should have discussed it with you BEFORE ok'ing the work.

Not your fault. I was nice of you to spend time finding the cat, informing the owner, but therein ends your responsibilty! A lot of people wouldn't (don't) even do that, so don't sweat it and DON'T let this meat-head bully you! It's not even his cat- if he cares so much, let him donate towards the vet bill. Most vets will allow people who can't afford a bill pay it up over a period too (we're not ogres !) so don't worry about this poor, single mother starving to death while sobbing over a picture of her cat!

On the other hand, had the cat lived another 5 or 6 years, she'd have probably spent MORE than £200 on food/ vaccinations/ vet's bills, so financially speaking you have actually done her a favour!!

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 06/05/2009 23:14

I can't believe some people think drivers have a moral duty to pay vet fees to irresponsible cat owners who allow their cats to roam the street and throw themselves under cars at the slightest provocation. If you don't want your cat to be run over, either train them to cross the road or keep them indoors. It is ridiculous to expect a driver to take responsibility for a cat who makes a dive for their moving wheels.

OldLadyKnowsNothing · 06/05/2009 23:44

LOL @ training a cat to cross roads!

Claire2009 · 07/05/2009 01:09

If she's a single Mother & non working make sure she didn't take cat to Pdsa where she would only have been asked to donate whatever she can.
IF she did infact take it to a vet & pay for £200 ask her to see the receipts/papers.

I wouldn't be paying though, you done your bit by apologising and explaining. Being bullied on your own doorstep after is just wrong on its own. The idiot that done it was trying to get one over on you. Don't let him/them.

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 07/05/2009 02:23

Ignore them. You have done nothing wrong. You weren't even driving at normal traffic speed. If they come round again shut the door in their faces.
The people who are saying you should pay anything are probably the sort of people who keep ambulance chasers in business, oh, everything's got to be somebody's fault and they've always got their hands out.

It's the pet owner's problem, not yours.

stagefright · 07/05/2009 06:00

YANBU the cat is her responsibility if she lets it on the road it's going to get hit by a car, you were just the unlucky one who did it.
You do not have to pay any of that bill. I guess if I did it I would feel bad and in the moment might offer to pay some, maybe half, as a gesture of good will but that is your choice not theirs. Some people can't afford to offer if they don't have to... don't let them bully you.
I would want to see the bill though, I think they are taking you for a ride.
You did the right thing telling them you hit the cat even though they are making you feel like you shouldn't have.

MrsMerryHenry · 07/05/2009 17:01

Forget cats learning to cross the road: check this out!

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