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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to ask parents to go into the pool with their kids at DS's swimming party.

131 replies

notsosuremummy · 30/04/2009 23:48

DS is going to be 5 and started school in January. For the last 6 months, all he's wanted for his Birthday is a swimming party so we've booked out a pool and a room for a set fee. We went to a 3rd Birthday party in the same pool last year and all enjoyed going in the water.

When we got the confirmation, the rules stated that one adult is required for every 2 children over 8. We want to make the most of having the pool and invite 30 kids, half of those being his new friends from school but there's no way we can do that unless at least some of the parents go in the water with their kids.

I'm just about to write the invitations and it's only just occurred to me that I would be very happy to go in the water at a swimming party but others may not.

Is it rude to ask them? How would I phrase it?

OP posts:
ramonaquimby · 30/04/2009 23:52

not rude but I don't imagine all parents would be up for it -

you could say something like - looking for volunteers to spash about with the kids in the pool - anyone up for it?

dunno

hope you get enough parent vounteers

FluffyBunnyGoneBad · 30/04/2009 23:54

Of course it's not rude. Pop in a note explaining that the pool requires a certain amount of adults to go in the pool with the children, would they be willing to go in?

I did this at a party to help the mum out. It ment I could boss ds around aswell . He can get OTT so it was useful for all that he was kept in check.

Original poster
notsosuremummy · 30/04/2009 23:57

Thanks. I was thinking of doing more than just asking for volunteers. I was thinking of asking that each child be accompanied by their parent/guardian or pair up with another child who has a parent going in. That way, I know we won't be stuffed. I know I'd want to go in with my DS if it were me. He can't swim without arm bands and isn't confident in the water. I guess other 4/5 year olds can do a bit, though.

OP posts:
paisleyleaf · 30/04/2009 23:57

"note to parent/carer: it's pool policy that your child will need an accompanying adult for supervision in the water so please come too"

As Ramona says, it's not rude ...but there will be some put off unfortunately.

MissPiggyHasTheFlu · 30/04/2009 23:58

Yep - would put on the invites - parent's needed to be in the pool if you can spare an hour etc.

mrsjammi · 30/04/2009 23:59

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Tinker · 01/05/2009 00:00

You can ask but you may get a lot dropping out. There is NO WAY I would do this.

solidgoldSneezeLikeApig · 01/05/2009 00:00

I'd be more put out if I took DS to a pool party and wans't allowed in the water, being a bit of a fish myself. However, you do need to tell the parents so that enough of them bring swimming gear for themselves as well as CD.

mrsjammi · 01/05/2009 00:01

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Clary · 01/05/2009 00:02

It's totally fine to ask.

DS2 went to a 4th b/day party (he was 3.5) in a pool. The invite specifically said "As the children are so small, a parent needs to come in the water too" or similar.

It was fine. I went as DH can't swim, but really, aren't most parents (at least one out of mum or dad) willing to take their child swimming?

And masses of 4/5 yos can't swim without armbands. DS2 could at this party as it goes but DS1 certainly couldn't at that age.

Clary · 01/05/2009 00:03

tinker - really? Why wouldn't you do it?

mrsjammi · 01/05/2009 00:04

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DandyLioness · 01/05/2009 00:05

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Original poster
notsosuremummy · 01/05/2009 00:06

My parents are on hols and inlaws are not really up to it. Have 2 DSs so I've roped in my brother to take one of them in the pool for me because I'm going to need to prepare the party room and food for after. Some friends I know are coming and I'm very comfy asking them, in fact, they'll asume they're needed to go in the water but they have their own kids to look after.

OP posts:
Original poster
notsosuremummy · 01/05/2009 00:09

I like your wording, Clary and I might even add an apology to that, too. :0) He's only just started school and I don't want to make enemies at the school gate already!

OP posts:
fortyplus · 01/05/2009 00:11

I had a pool party for ds2 when he was 6 or 7 and most of the mums were really happy to join in. Those that weren't mostly stayed by the side of the pool to watch. The odd one or two who didn't want to be there arranged for one of the other mums to supervise their child as well.

It really wasn't a big deal - everyone who uses the pool will know the rules and will fit in.

Original poster
notsosuremummy · 01/05/2009 00:11

Dandylioness, you wouldn't do it, but would you think, "stupid old bint, how rude to ask"?

OP posts:
SOLOisMeredithGrey · 01/05/2009 00:12

I would not be happy baring my thunderous thighs all.

Tinker · 01/05/2009 00:13

Clary - I don't do swimming ie I can't . Hate pools, water, changing rooms, everything associated with swimming pools and I don't think I'm alone in that.

Original poster
notsosuremummy · 01/05/2009 00:14

mrsjammi, are you saying that it's better to do it by word of mouth rather than on the invites? Could be. I wish I knew who everyone was at the school gate but I don't yet.

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 01/05/2009 00:15

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fortyplus · 01/05/2009 00:15

I think it's more likely that some mums would be all precious about letting someone else supervise their dc

DandyLioness · 01/05/2009 00:16

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Original poster
notsosuremummy · 01/05/2009 00:17

So Tinker, what would you say to your DC in that situation. Would you be put into the position where you feel guilty for your DC that you are saying no because you don't want to do it? Would that make you feel angry about the whole thing?

OP posts:
Clary · 01/05/2009 00:17

Well of course Tinker if you can't swim (like my DH indeed) then it's a nono. But can OH not go in? At the party I mentioned earlier there were plenty of dads in the pool.

Bit if there is no-one to take a child swimming.

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