Active discussions

Meet the Other Phone. A phone that grows with your child.

Meet the Other Phone.
A phone that grows with your child.

Buy now

Please or to access all these features

Talk
AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To find it very irritating when people don't come back to threads?

91 replies

BlingDreaming · 21/04/2009 11:19

And I'm not just talking about the threads where something exciting/terrifying/overwhelming is happening and we're all desperate to know - those are sad when you don't hear but generally, I tend to assume that possibly the OP has something else to do.

But surely when someone asks for good party ideas, or information on something, a simple "thanks" wouldn't go amiss? When I email a friend asking for something and she emails back, I reply?

Or am I just missing the point of the internet...?

OP posts:
JustCallMeGoat · 21/04/2009 11:20

yanbu, it is v. irrating.

GooseyLoosey · 21/04/2009 11:21

It is irritating but sometimes RL gets in the way of MN however unreasonable that may seem so YABU (a tenny bit).

BitOfFun · 21/04/2009 11:23

Part of the problem is the way Threads Im On seems to work though, IMO. You don't necessarily notice that there have been more replies after a few days, so it doesn't occur to you to pop back.

But yes, I know what you mean though.

JustCallMeGoat · 21/04/2009 11:24

bof - that is reasonable but it when folk ask for some advice,you reply and the op comes back and bumps without acknowledging you. oooooh it makes my blood boil.

Original poster
BlingDreaming · 21/04/2009 11:24

BOF - that's a good poiint but aactually, if it's days later and it was just a recipe or something I don't worry about it for exactly that reason. But when it's a dozen responses within five minutes and still nothing from OP...

Totally get that I'm being a little precious about this!

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 21/04/2009 11:24

YANBU if they don't ever come back. Tis just polite.

Of course it could be that the thread just drops off your 'threads I'm on' and they do come back much later.

This s why we need to be able to order 'threads I'm on' by which was lasted posted on by anyone, not just in the order that you last posted on it.

JustCallMeGoat · 21/04/2009 11:25

blingdreaming better reply to us soon or she will be in my black book of hate

Hassled · 21/04/2009 11:25

YANBU. It hasn't happened to me recently, but there have been times where people have asked for specific info, I and others have given it, and then....silence. I've resisted the urge to post "Don't mention it, it was nothing" after a couple of days .

Having said that, I know I've been guilty of this myself at least once - genuinely forgot all about it, until it was past the point where I could go back and say "Thanks very much" without looking like a loon. I still should have, though.

GooseyLoosey · 21/04/2009 11:26

OP, you asked for an opinion, I gave it, you came back to the thread and you failed to acknowledge me or my contribution. I am hurt.

BitOfFun · 21/04/2009 11:27

pmsl @ black book of hate

JustCallMeGoat · 21/04/2009 11:28

doesn't everyont have one?

Hassled · 21/04/2009 11:32

I would have a black book of hate but I have the memory span of a guppy, and can never remember the names of the people who have wound me up long enough to write them down. Tis very annoying.

BitOfFun · 21/04/2009 11:33

You know, I do have one person that I will never reply to if I ever see them again...it was when I first registered, under a different name (thankfully), and I hadn't grown a thick skin yet. She wanted advice on an emotional problem, and I poured my heart and soul into a long reply involving very personal stuff of my own. Her next post just said bump . Then someone else replied and she started chatting to them...I have a little black book just for her

QuantitativeMeasure · 21/04/2009 11:35

I find it very irritating when nobody replies to your posts.

Original poster
BlingDreaming · 21/04/2009 11:36

Am laughing inappropriately at my desk.

Right:

JustCallMe thank you and I hope I am not in your BBoH
Goosey clearly you don't understand my point if you think IABU (even a little)
Trillian your suggestion sounds brilliant but I@m slightly confused - I'd go with a button that lets me click on "threads I started" going back at least two months!
hassled - Sarcasm, I like it. Is that outside of the spirit of MN?

Thank you all very very much I am so grateful I can hardly thank you enough and will always be there for you forever and ever.

OP posts:
missorinoco · 21/04/2009 11:37

bof, this is interesting. i tend to go back and post a thanks, but thought other posters thought i was a little twee for doing so. you have cheered me.

i do tend to wait a little while though, so i don't thanks too early/ write too many of them.

harleyd · 21/04/2009 11:38

how long do threads im on stay there for before they drop off
can you change the settings
i should really look for myself [lazy]

TrillianAstra · 21/04/2009 11:42

I don't mean so you lose threads you started, I mean so you don't lose threads that you are on.

Right now I could leave this thread, go post on 15 other threads, and this thread will be number 15 on my 'threads I'm on' list. Even if those 15 threads stop dead, and this one carries on for weeks, this will still be thread number 15, and will still drop off at the end of a week, or 3 days, or whatever it's set to, even though it's still going.

I want to list 'threads I'm on' by most recently active.

Yes harley you can change the settings, go to 'customise'. It stops things dropping off but doesn't stop them getting lost in the thousands of other threads you may have posted on in that time.

Hassled · 21/04/2009 11:43

But on the other hand, I once started a thread (about the PTA - I should have known better) where lots of people posted with support/advice, I said "thank you" a lot, and then it went on and on and bloody on and I would log in each day and wince. I wanted to post "look, I've said thanks, now just go about your business". There should be a facility to "Stop A Thread You've Started When It gets Out Of Hand".

BitOfFun · 21/04/2009 11:48

True, very true

And a "remove from threads I'm on" button.. It took me a while to learn that the best response to some irritating judgemental twat is not "< clicks hide >", as by registering the fact they have bored the arse off you, you are doomed to have to scroll past it in threads I'm on all bleedin day!

Original poster
BlingDreaming · 21/04/2009 11:50

Aaah, but on those threads, the conversation has moved on and I don't feel that the OP needs to come back and say anything. Those are what in my head I refer to as "The Big Winding Conversation" threads.

It's the 10 or less responses to a basic thread like, "How do I remove strawberry jam, DC-foot-shaped smears from the carpet" that I think a quick, "Thanks, the suggestion to make DC lick the strawberry jam up really worked" would be nice.

OP posts:
TrillianAstra · 21/04/2009 11:51

Mmm, hairy

harleyd · 21/04/2009 11:55

ooh thanks trillian...

see i came back and said thanks

Bucharest · 21/04/2009 11:57

I'm perhaps guilty of the opposite..I'm usually so sadly desperate I hover over the puter and thank each new answer as it comes in...then I scuttle away feeling guilty that other people will think I'm bumping my own thread.....
Hmmmm.

TrillianAstra · 21/04/2009 11:57

Yes, and you weren't even the OP. Well done!