to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

[morningpaper]

Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

i know very little about dyspraxia, and i'm genuinely curious what it is that ballet does that other forms of dance/sport/exercise couldn't.

fitness, strength, co-ordination, stamina are all benefits of physical activity i can appreciate, grace just strikes me as a little, hmm, old fashioned? limiting? (i.e. being un-graceful means you are less worthy) sexist perhaps? trying to pinpoint quite why it grates so much...

I think that it is the notion that "grace" and having good "deportment" are not things that we would make our BOY children aspire to...

Your poor children then MP. If I could afford something that could make my children happy that was fun then I would.

It may be that they do it later at school anyway. Many secondary schools have dance departments now and ballet/modern is the core of the GCSE/A level curriculum at the school I have seen.

I consider it a waste of money and an inappropriate activity for young girls

I would give the same response if they wanted to do pole dancing

I already said I would love ds to do ballet.

Good posture is very important, I wish I had better posture despite having done singing training.

Way over thinking it.

surely a lot of it is also about balance and posture - which is equally applicable to boys and girls?

Well I guess it is your decision but those of us who have children who love dance, stop trying to make us out to be misguided. We are not, our children gain many benefits.

I am very proud of dd and will not ever ever ever stop her dance as she lives for it.

Dance is wonderful.

I personally thingk you are being deliberataly antagonistic and are just out for an argument for arguments sake.

There are fat ballerinas in my DD#s class! No biggie. They're not doing exams either. It's a bit of gentle exercise on the plus side anyway. My dd loves it. If she stops liking it, I'll stop paying for it though I think.

I think anorexia may well be a professional hazard for dancers, much as it is for models and actors, but I don't think sending a child to ballet lessons will necessarily raise the risk much TBH.

I think those who are generally more at risk of eating disorders are often those who don't feel they have much control over their lives, or are keen to be 'good' - maybe having a parent who always knows best, going to a competitive girls-only school, etc... I would be more worried about those risk factors than ballet lessons....

i think ballet is inextricably linked in my head to a whole world of princessy pink fluff that i am utterly unable to relate to. that and the exams. and the expensive uniforms. and the body image stuff.

islandofsodor - this is aibu

hmm well I was hoping that the thread would convinced me I was wrong, but actually I definitely still agree with myself

dd2 has cerebral palsy and does ballet because it helps with her strength and balance.

mileniwm - happy to discuss alternatives with you - she also has swimming lessons and trampolines, but to be brutally honest, anything that involves running or a ball would be plain dangerous.

my 3 do ballet (including ds1 lol, who also wears a leotard) and dd1 also does tap, modern, freestyle and a bit of cheerleading (which here is just freestyle with pompoms, there's no shouting involved).

my eldest is 9 and eats like a horse. i've not heard a single comment about body shape in 6 years of weekly dance lessons, and her first dance teacher was at least a size 20.

mp - happy that you have strong views about professional dancers, but extending that to a bunch of primary school girls (and boys) having fun and becoming (actually) more body confident? maybe a bit of an over-reaction lol. there are all shapes and sizes in our dance classes.

round here a fair few 14-16yo boys are taking up ballet now that dance is becoming part of the curriculum - it's going down a storm.

dd enjoys her ballet and of all the dance disicplines she does is probably the most suited to her physically and in terms of developing good posture and poise (she has a natural intoe which we hope this will help correct). Have friends whose dd's do gym and it is a much harsher regime at a younger age on a developing physique.

mileniwmffalcon yes that is just how I feel

Yes it is aibu. But usually aibu posts have a genuine point rather than, lets think what I can argue about today, doesn;t matter what, oh I know ballet, that will alienate half the mumsnet population.

is ballet not a competitive (predominantly) girls-only environment then brokenrecord? with pressure to be "good" and pass exams?

I suspect that is about you as much as anything else MP, and falcon too.

Projection, or whatever...

This thread has spurred me on to enquire about baby ballet for BabyDragon. I always said she'd do ballet over my dead body but she keeps coming up to me asking me to watch her dance and twirling & prancing about.

I'm more than capable of managing her "body image" and expectations. I guess if you're not that confident about being able to do that you're right to steer clear.

Dance is wonderful and yes, posture is very important. Grace and good carriage is a rare thing these days, but you do notice when people have it.
There are far too many people slouching around, slaking their feet and sitting hunched up in chairs IMO, but not all at the same time obiously

YANBU. I'm waiting for dd to be old enough to start Judo. Far more useful IMHO. Friends of ours send their little girl to ballet and sunday school which is possibly the most toxic combination of activities that I could imagine for a four year old .