to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

[morningpaper]

Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

Yes I agree, I was very affected by my friend whose entire hopes and dreams came crashing down around her at the age of 11 because her SHOULDERS WERE TOO WIDE

I dislike women "doing performance" - whereas other sorts of dance are more about participation and socialisation. I dislike women being things that are looked at and ballet seems to encourage this in a very ghastly way

Isn't school competitive environment with pressure to be "good" and pass exams??

No mileni it isn't.

Ballet can be recreational or competitive just as sport or music or any other organised activity can.

ASoem choose to do exams, some don't. SOme choose to study it later in life, some don;t.

Dh teaches singing, some of his pupils want to exams, some don;t. SOme want to perform in amateur shows, some professional, some want to join a choir for the social aspec, one lady wants to be able to sing in tune to her young ctoddler.

Same for ballet or other forms of dance.

All dance is about performance.

Except perhaps line dancing .

So a child playing solo piano is bad but one playing in an orchestra with a group is good???

I'm more than capable of managing her "body image" and expectations. I guess if you're not that confident about being able to do that you're right to steer clear.

Oh gosh, I wish I had your confidence. But no, I fear that despite my best intentions (and I am a paid up member of the Fawcett society) my children's body images are likely to be more influenced by society, culture, their peers than their frumpy mother.

I really don't think that women with poor self-images feel that way purely because they have been less-than-ideally parented.

I think it would be incredibly difficult to be anorexic and be a ballet dancer because of the sheer physical effort involved.

When you look at a dancer's thighs, they are incredibly muscular.

But it would be naive to think that it doesn't go on - the same as it does in gymnastics, acting etc.

My dad used to joke that my aunt (a ballet dancer) was the only person he knew who could eat a Sunday lunch followed by a cheese sandwich an hour later.

there should have been an ironic wink after frumpy mother btw. add that in

mileniwm.
no. ask ds1 and dd2.

ds1 (obviously) is a boy.

and dd2 has cerebral palsy and won't ever take any exams.

Lol at line danceing.

Performance is all about expressing something, an emotion, telling a story. Most dance is done in a group. There are solos and duets but being aware of others on stage is an important thing that is taught.

I personally have two left feet but iff dd loves it, I aint going to stop her.

That's not true Soupy. The oldest forms of dance are wedding/celebration/social/folk dances for everyone to do, they foster a sense of community and express the spirit of community. Dance as performance is relatively recent.

I agree with morningpaper about ballet for little girls, there is something sinister about it in terms of conformity and body image. I would want my children to aspire to something a bit more worthwhile than a pretty little plastic figure in a musical box.

Dd's highly qualified ballet teacher has got to be a size 16 at least. More likely 18. But she is very good. It's not all about body image. It's about skill.

As for the girl being rejected from the top ballet school in the country, why does that mean noone should do ballet at all?

My db failed to complete his second year at music college because his fingers were too stiff for a career as a violinist: does that mean no child should learn an instrument? because you turn out not to have the physique to perform with the top of the country

I once dreamt of being an opera singer, my voice clearly wasn't good enough- should I not have been allowed any singing lessons at all?

lots of youngsters get rejected by the bigt football clubs because they are not strong enough or fast enough- should little boys not be allowed to play football?

what a bizarre attitude

besides, what about all the boys who do ballet, like my ds? should he be allowed or not?

the reason he started was because he has coordination problems and the ballet school is far more inclusive than the football team: you don't find other children or the coach yelling at you for muffing a shot like they did in football

I would rather my daughter looked at a ballet dancer dancing than Kate Moss or sodding Kiera Knightley any day.

A close member of my family had an eating disorder so aiam very aware of these issues (a male member as well)

MP, maybe your friend just told you that to cover up the fact that she just didn;t get in as she was in fact not good enough........nowt to do with body type, more to do with talent???

Of course body image is influenced by society. However, I am confident that I can manage/boost my children's self confidence so that they are not hung up on it.

i too am envious of your confidence re: body image soupy. i sincerely hope it isn't misplaced.

mp. i too am a paid up member of the fawcett society.

and all 3 of my children do ballet.

feminism and dance isn't mutually exclusive.

Hear hear Cory.

My mum loves ballet and I went as a child and hated it.

Mum already has DD pointing her toes...

I have said if she wants to pay for ballet for DD when she is older then fine!

Personally I see no real difference between this and gymnastics.

Both bloody difficult, both similar clobber, both good exercise, both leading to physical problems a lot if pursued to the highest level.

At the top you are always going to get body issues - my bro is a keen cyclist and worries a lot about his physique and how it doesn't measure up to the people who do the Tour de France etc.

If the child wants to do it then why not. Being forced to do it by a mum who wants a DD like a little fairy princess is another different issue.

aren't lol.
typing and grammar clearly are.

If ballet is a viable form of therapy for children with special physical needs, then that's GREAT. I'm very glad to hear positive stories about that. I know nothing about that area.

at morningpaper deciding she agrees with herself.

I'm v. glad I have a boy so don't have all this faff I see from my friends of running to ballet lessons, buying costumes and what seem to be endless ruddy competitions.

Ds does gymnastics, which he loves and I assume has the same benefits.

my mum was all set to be a professional ballet dancer, until she hit puberty and didn't grow as tall as was hoped (she's a short arse)

my dd did it for about 6 months, she found it quite dull & controlled but was drawn to the lovely outfits and hair dos

she was very good at it though, I was quite sad when she didn't want to do it anymore