to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

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Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

Very relieved that dd was never interested in going to ballet or any type of dance class. For one thing, the hell of the annual show would have finished me off.

Mind you, she plays full contact rugby and has broken her arm (twice) and collarbone in 6 months, which has been horrible. She doesn't want to give up, though.

Agree with the body image thing. Teenage girls are insular and self conscious enough, without having to look at their bodies and check for flaws every day.

Flaminhell, blooming heck, your experiences of ballet are not typical of the ballet classes I have seen at all. Your experiences sound quite scarring, but it is nonsense to believe that the majority of modern ballet classes are anything at all like what you describe.

I did ballet as a child - I wanted to and I don't remember worrying about body image at that point - I was useless but in those days my weight wasn't an issue. Our classes also included a bit of tap dancing and modern dance.

I liked the idea because of all the ballet stories I read. I'm trying to remember if my sister did it as she has adopted most of my ballet stories (she's 11 years younger so I'd probably left home by the time she was getting into it), and I think she must have but what she did for the longest time was ice skating.

I don't have little girls and though I'm sorry about that I'll hopefully never worry about the things I don't like about the image conditioning of little girls - I'd mind ballet less than pink princess dresses.

MadEyeballs, I'm quite impressed by the idea of Irish dancing not ballet.

This is an interesting thread as I posted a question on mn some weeks back as my DD wanted to go to ballet and had been asking to go for AGES.

Like you I have quite a negative view of ballet and had resisted taking her, apparently some classes start age 2 1/2!

My DD has been to about 5 lessons. Most weeks she is really in to it, but as many of the kids there faff about as do what the teacher says. It is a pretty liberal approach from what I can see in the class she attends. Although I have heard some places are much more strict.

I am not a fan of ballet at all having tried it as a kid and left after one class and I was not keen on letting my DD go. However I realised that I am just passing on my views to my DD and it was for her to try and see if she likes it, regardless of whether she will be the next Darcey Bussell!
I think your argument is flawed really as there are many things that kids do that involve some cost and are money making. How many barbies or ben 10 stuff do kids buy and to be honest at least there is some focus on exercise in ballet.

AS for my DD she may or may not continue and it will be her choice. It is an alien environment to me and some of the other mums seem to have high expectations of their kids but as long as she enjoys going and I do not see any really negative effect on her as you describe I think ballet is as valid a thing for my DD to as anything else.

To be honest it is often the parents who are the problem not the children!

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MASSIVE 7 YEAR OLD Z~O~M~B~I~E THREAD

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My daughter loves the ballet. She's been dancing since she was 2 (just coming up to 3) and she's nearly 9 now. She has been to different schools as we have moved house a lot. She has never been at a school where people were worried about being fat.

At her current school there are some tubby girls who still dance, just for fun. Fat people can dance too, you know. It's a great hobby, and they have no interest in going professional with it. This school has dancers who are in it for the profession, and has dancers who go on to great success, but the vast majority are dancing as a hobby.

Frankly if by any bad luck dd ever ended up at a ballet school where everyone had unhealthy body images I'd be finding a new school.

My friend has three dc and she still dances the ballet. She has danced all her life. It's her hobby. In her professional life she's a research scientist. Dance is a really great hobby (and music, and some sports) because you can do it for life. All you need is your body and some music and you're good to go.

Oh, shucks, didn't see the zombie alert

It's like saying no children should learn singing because only a small percentage have the vocal cords and innate tunefulness which enables them to perform at a high level.

Ballet is wonderful. The music is beautiful, the movements are beautiful, the stories are interesting. But most children will not have bodies suitable for this particular art form. Same with gymnastics, running, swimming. Hard work and talent will take you so far, but you need to have a body which suits the sport.

'Bodies not suitable' - for performing at the very highest levels. I was one of these - thin as a twig but simply not flexible enough, and with non-ballet feet.

I remember seeing a TV programme about young people, teenagers, at some boarding school doing ballet. The older girls were dancing and some had blood coming through their ballet shoes. The old witch teaching them was shouting, "dance through the pain." Sod that, if we saw some other culture doing that to kids we would call them fanatics.

I was curvy. And tall. But I didn't dream of being a professional, but I bloody loved it, bleeding toes and all.

Well, it's very interesting to come back to this thread 7 years later, hear myself 7 years ago, and think about where it all ended. Which as far as my two ballet dancing children was:

*ds gave it up because he got bored; would have liked to have played football but never got a chance because that, unlike ballet, was very competitive and focused on having exactly the right body.

*dd has not developed any kind of eating disorder or body issues, but is very comfortable in her skin and still enjoys using her body physically though she gave up ballet many years ago to concentrate on acting. For her, ballet was a door to a permanent love of theatre, performance and literature; she is getting ready to apply (again) to drama school and is very, very focused. It helped to strengthen her body and make her aware of her physical potential; she seems totally un-preoccupied with bodily perfection. But very much enjoys seeing theatre companies which specialise in physical expression.

I disagree. People make out like they're all anorexic and paper thin but it's muscle, every last inch of it.
DS2 had major body image problems in his teens, he always maintained ballet helped with it. Now, 10 and a bit years on, he still says that to every single person who draws a connection.

Zombie thread..
But the OP is talking shite.

FGS, if it's something they enjoy and you can afford it, where's the harm? Both mine had lessons - one loved it and carried on for several years, the other was into more sporty things and only did it for a little while. Both were slim and active - giving up had absolutely nothing to do with any 'body image' issues.

I would have thought most good dancers of whatever discipline are slim - it goes with the territory. But there's nothing to stop little fairy elephants galumphing around the church hall or wherever, if they enjoy it, and if they ARE on the porky side then the exercise will do them good. .

One reason I let mine try it was that I always envied other girls at junior school who did ballet - I knew my folks couldn't afford lessons so I never even asked. If kids have had a chance to try whatever it is, they can't complain later that they never had the opportunity.

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My GM adored ballet as a child and never quite got over not being good enough or having the right sort of body to be a dancer. I don't think there's anything wrong with loving ballet and wouldn't say 'no' but I would prefer to introduce activities that are less exacting in terms of body shape (because you would be more likely to feel insecure doing ballet as a larger person and I don't want to do anything to make things harder for a teen) and less difficult to be brilliant at. Irish dancing, for instance (the way we do it in Ireland, not the ridiculous English kind) or riding or netball...

they're all anorexic and paper thin but it's muscle

the two are not mutually exclusive

Zombie thread but my small contribution is that I did ballet from 3-10. I was the little girl with the pot belly and fatty pre-boobs I also scored the highest on every exam in our class of 20, I kid you not.It was a lovely experience but I gave it up for karate..my interest waned.Interestingly,my 4 year old DS has a solid but a bit chunky body type and has always been a bit wobbly on his feet. His nursery have told me he seems to have a natural ability for..gymnastics

In my experience, it comes down to the person.

I danced and did ballet for years (went to professional school at age 18), and it absolutely has had an negative affect on my body image and my relationship with food/weight and those issues will last me a lifetime, I'm certain. I don't think I'll ever be able to shake the mentality that visible bones (clavicle, wrists, ribs, etc.) combined with incredible toned, lean muscle are the be all and end all of beauty.

BUT, I strongly believe I would have developed those issues regardless of whether I had been a dancer. I know just as many girls and women who've struggled with disordered eating and body image issues who didn't ever do ballet, as those who studied ballet for years.

There are huge benefits to dancing (I love that it's left me with a level of grace, athleticism, and self awareness), and if my children wanted to take classes in the future I wouldn't stop them. But equally, I'd do as much as I could to encourage them to take the view that all bodies are beautiful, and help them see beyond the very narrow and restrictive bounds of the dance industry.

I don't have any kids, but I'm easily entertained.

Try ZooNation Dance Company! They performed in the Sadler's Wells Phoenix Theatre in Into The Hoodz! Hip hop and modern dance.

Zombie McZombieface