to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

[morningpaper]

Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

"What footballer doesn't fantasise about scoring a goal for England?! "

A Scottish one?

Not read all the tread because it is too long but I did balllet for 12 years when I was younger. Several of the girls in my class where overweight but enjoyed it just as much as the rest of us and one was a 50 years old woman who had always wanted to do ballet but never had a chance when she was younger! I think ballet is what we make of it!

lol Habbibu although I'm sure a Scottish footballer would just be grateful to score a goal whoever it was for!

You reckon?

I encourage my children to do the best they can at things they enjoy. I would be a cr*p parent if I didn't.

this stuff is making me quite sad now.

dd2 sure isn't ever going to dance professionally as a wheelchair user lol. she still loves her ballet classes. i'm aghast at the turn this thread has taken tbh.

i actually left my BA QTS degree in Phys Ed because i had a completely different ethos to the tutors. i wanted to be able to enthuse people, any people, to take part in any sport, to find something that they enjoyed, and get all the benefits of exercise. my tutors wanted us to prepare to train future olympians.

weirdly, i can see the same sort of ethos developing here - what on earth happened to the idea of equality? if women want to work, let them. if boys want to do ballet, let them. if tall kids/ wide kids/ disabled kids want to do ballet, for goodness sake, applaud it, don't reinforce what you are allegedly arguing against by telling them they can't do it.

ffs.

disastereggs - my party trick is to perform makaton rap when i am pissed lol. v jealous of your pirouette trick, but then i never did ballet lol. too busy rock climbing and kayaking and that's no fun when you're leathered...

so I'm not the only one whose disabled dd does ballet

the hospital basically told us that going to ballet classes once a week would be a far more sensible use of dd's limited strength than the two hour round trip to the hospital for physio

i think the ideal of what ballet for kids should be, and what it is in many classes/schools is the problem madwomanita. had my dd had expressed an interest in ballet (well, a sustained interest) i would probably have let her go, keeping a wary eye, although as i said friends who joined our local class didn't rate it at all and left soon thereafter. after all i'm fully aware that dd is not physically the gymnastics "type" but i'm happy for her to attend an inclusive class (that incidentally offers completely optional badges and has no strict dress requirements) for as long as she enjoys it.

and happily we have enough sport/activity options locally, including modern dance, gym, swimming, tennis etc. that she's not missing out on anything by not doing ballet.

she loves it.

tonight she said to me (completely unprompted)
'can i tell you something about my ballet lessons?'

of course

'i don't fall over as much now' followed by a huge satisfied grin.

she adores it, and and it has improved both her balance and co-ordination. the physio and orthotist are both very supportive, and i love her fantastic teacher who takes it all in her stride.

we are moving in the summer, and there is a 'recreational ballet' class in the new town. this is the perfect next step for her as it removes the exam issue. they still take part in the annual recital and get all the benefits that dance and performance has to offer, but without the exam pressure.

Bar work and basic floor work are excellent for strength. A lot of the moves - repetitive and having to hold - are very much what you do as physio, but as it's a class with physically normal types it's more fun and doesn't feel like you are having to do something special or different IYSWIM. I did ballet because my mum was convinced it would help with my physical problems - I hated it personally - but would not stop DD doing it if she wanted.

It is not simply floating about, it is extremely hard work...

DD does ballet at school but doesn't really enjoy ballet - too formal and staid for her. She'd prefer something with a bit more get up and go!

I do hate the fact that ballet is so onbsessed with looks, right fromt he very first pre-prmary presentations. not good.

x-post mileniwm.

dd2 won't be able to do modern, gym or tennis (her cerebral palsy affects her whole body) and she does do swimming (in a normal class but with a 1-1 helper as she is not yet independent enough in the water to cope alone) but it is the ballet that has been the most beneficial without a doubt.

i do see what you are saying, and of course theoretically the answer is that you can't change these things from the outside. so i am wrong for not finishing my course and promoting exercise for all, and you lot boycotting ballet are wrong for not getting in there and letting all your kids change the princessy nature of whatever dance school you have a problem with...

we move quite a lot btw, and of the 4 dance schools we have used (for all 3 dcs inc ds), i can honestly say that i have not experienced anything other than unconditional inclusivity of kids of all shapes and sizes. i am sure there are 'old school' ballet classes where pink still rules until the exams kick in and the princesses get bored of the hard work, but i suspect most of them are rather more egalitarian than you would suspect from the outside.

but dd1 doesn't want to do ballet so i hardly count as a boycotter...

My DD went to ballet from the age of three till she was eighteen. Never ever did she say she didn't want to go. When she was younger she walked pidgeon toed sp but that all changed after ballet. We thought she would never be a dancer. As part of her training she did dance and is now considered to be a very good dancer of professional standard.

lol. missed that v important point.

no, wouldn't force 'em lol. not doing ballet didn't do me any harm

Isn't this just like the thread you did telling everyone not to get their child to learn an instrument?

Am having right dilemma about this ballet thing atm. DD1 has been doing it for 3 years, since she was 3. She's really shy, and ballet is something she enjoys and gives her confidence, she dances well, she has really good poise and coordination and seems to get a lot out of it. But this a total RIP OFF! Everything is so expensive, the shoes and clothes, and lessons are loads - her great grandmother gives her money towards the lessons, which is great as she'd not do it otherwise.

And they've been training them for the grade one exam next term, just had the letter through asking for £50 just to be entered into the exam, on top of the £50 fees! How can that be? Dp said no way, not got it. Just had to talk to her about the possibility of not going again after Easter and she's not happy. Was hoping this thread would make me feel a bit better about that.

Boco - could she continue the class without doing the exams? It would be possible, wouldn't it, to explain it to her yourself, and (with luck and following wind) to get the teacher to give her an 'exams aren't what it's all about' pep-talk?

£50 is really outrageous - dd is three and I've not come up against exams yet, but I'd seriously balk at that.

We get all kit from ebay. I have it on a saved search and am buying stuff for under a fiver, 2 years ahead iyswim, as I'm certain she will want to continue.

Boco are there any other classes around? Seems from this thread they vary greatly in price etc.

Seems a shame to have to move your DD from something she is settled with, but better than stopping altogether...

To be honest the teachers can't win.

Dd is in a class that was originally a year ahead of some of the children's ability (there were 3 of us who couldn;t make Saturdays so they let us into a Grade 1 class instead of primary. So when the girls did their Grade 1 exam and moved up ours stayed down.

Now ours are doing Grade 1 but it is a popilar gRade so the teacher let some other older girls who were taking their exam join our children's class for free as extra practice.

Now one of the other mums is complaining that our dc havn't done thier exam yet. The fact her dd started ballet 1 year later than my dd and the other child and around 2 years later than the girls who have just done their examis irrelevant.

What I'm saying is that many parents EXPECT exams and complain if they are not there. So the teacher does them, then people complain at the cost.

You know, briefly skimmed and am getting general tenor of arguments..

Really, isn't this just one of so many paradoxes that we have to negotiate in raising girls.

EG:

Bratz - fuck off
Baby Bratz - fuck off I'm calling the police
Second hand Barbie from cousin - oh bloody hell go on then (Shall we put her in this doctor outfit? No?)

Serious ballet - no chance
Exercise, pleasure in own body, fun, girliness.. okay, well, yes. Okay. (Gosh, that was brilliant dd!)

Heels at 7: No. NO.
Pierced ears at 13: It'll hurt you know
Any age, 1-25: God, you are sooo beautiful my darling.

All we can do is try and not make them one thing, or the other. We just have to try and equip them with the skills to see it for themselves.

I auditioned for White Lodge and they said I would be too tall. My mother was practically weeping with relief. (I'm 5'10 btw)

There'd be no point continuing with the class without doing the exam, as all they're doing next term is practicing for the exam - which would be v. dull if you're not actually doing it, and as dd WANTS to do it, it'd be a bit mean. No other classes around here, we're v. rural, this is a 'dance school' with good reputation and good teachers. Still not sure what to do really. Will decide tomorrow and talk to her again.

DD1 quite tomboyish and when choosing what to wear favours brown cords (unlike dd2 who will only wear dresses and loves pink) Wearing ballet stuff seems to be exception for her and a time when she feels comfortable being girly.

That seems MAD Boco

DH took DD up to a dance comp (bloody miles away) and it cost £7.50 to enter

The ballet thing seems like a total CON

Boco what a difficult decision.

I think a family talk is the only way forward - if you need to stop her going she needs to understand why

When would the next exams be? If not for a year or more maybe that's one thing, if more often that's a huge commitment...

With the credit crunch maybe it would be worth talking to the school about spreading payments/cheaper kit etc? Dunno...

My ballet teacher used to get parents to lend the right clothes for exams instead of making everyone fork out for new ones if they didn't have regulation clothes.

I only remember having 4 leotards (blue/pink/blue/pink) but as I did ballet for 9 years, that can't be possible.