to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

[morningpaper]

Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

I can't bear things like beavers/brownies either but if she asks to go then i will let her. Her choice too no? And maybe my job as her mum to facillitate different experiences?

DD is off playing cricket with her dad, so I can drink gin and tonic...

I went to Brownies but had to leave when I was beaten up

was that because you wore a tutu and had your legs out then MP??

my dds both went through the Brownie system. They are fine. Apatr from a saluting twitch

Hmmm... Interesting and topical for my family at the moment. Dd 1 (just 10) had no interest in dance of any kind but dd2 is permanently dancing. She is tiny, flexible and LOVES all things ballet. She also happens to be feisty and opinionated so could not be encouraged to do ANYTHING that she didn't love...

We recently signed her up for a class once a week. She looks forward to Wednesdays and is learning the days of the week as a result. She has already made a friend and has been invited to a birthday party... It is certainly anything but torture at this stage but I guess that we will take it as it comes.

I certainly understand your arguments and would have agreed wholeheartedly until dd2 came around.

I have nothing against saying no to things. But allowing one type of dance and not another because the person who wants to do them is female seems weird. What I do is to say 'this is what we can afford, what do you think you want to do'. No riding lessons- simply for financial reasons. Football and ballet both allowed because they are relatively cheap. Same no of activities allowed per child but absolutely no hinting that I don't want you to do this because you are a boy/girl.

This is partly for feminist reasons:
I think there is a tendency to devalue any activity that is traditionally associated with women (embroidery = waste of time, woodwork or metalwork= valuable, ballet = girlie fluff, football= useful team sport and exercise) and I do not agree with this. I don't know what this is called but it's certainly not equality.

That's nice that you are letting her try ballet Cadmum

I would only refuse an activity if they are already doing two activities and so time and/or money stop us from fitting in another.

I think you are absolutely right, cory, that activities associated with women/girls are devalued.

Dd loved Brownies and Guides. She really enjoyed all the trips out and the camping.

Yes! Find her on Facebook and ask her!!

you don't have to go on point because you do ballet dancing in the early years, dittany

our ballet school is very careful about whom they let go on points, and not everybody gets there (dd probably won't)

there's lots of other ballet related stuff you can do and the points class tends to be separate from the other teaching, so no need to join it

professional footballers are very prone to leg injuries and suffer an awful lot of pain, but I don't think that is a reason for ds not to do football club; I don't have to discourage him from doing it for fun because doing it as a profession can be damaging to your body; extremely unlikely that that is ever going to come up

I did ballet from 3 because I had weak ankles

Despite having zero talent I kept it up until I was 20 and left home. As an adult I walked into a room of strangers for a meeting about setting up a theatre (all arty, musical types) and was identified as "obviously a dancer" despite being 5ft 2 and large of nork. ( and in 17 years of dancing I never had any attention drawn to my non-dancers body)

DD1 went to ballet at 3 but was "asked to leave" at 6 . She took it up again at 14 and really regretted giving it up because she struggled to do things which would have come naturally at 5.

DS1 started at 11 and only gave up when he went to uni. He is severely dyspraxic and was in a class of girls some 5 years younger than him, but never made to feel odd or awkward. He did shows and exams but always his choice. He decided not to take Grade 5 but went up to the next grade with the rest of the class.

DS3 did ballet from 7 until about 15. Again exams and shows.

In our show was a 60 yo lady who was a professional ballerina. She was fabulous to watch.

I started ballroom dancing a few years ago and they have a baby class from 3. I asked a visiting professional dancer what he thought about DD2 starting ballroom at 3. He said that ballet is the root of all dance so would be better to start with.

MP YABU.

You're right about pointe at some point Dittany (sorry about the pun).

Dd would have had to do it had she continued for Grade 5 - we stopped at Grade 4. One of my reasons was indeed that - its not "worth" risking injury to feet if you're not going on to try to become professional.

Dittany there is no need to go on pointe unless you are taking it to quite a high level. It is quite possible to carry on going to classes without going on pointe at all. I don't think DD1 will ever go on pointe as her ankles are quite weak, but she will still be able to carry on dancing.
And anyway, assuming your feet are suitable for pointe work a couple of classes a week aren't going to hurt you - that's a very different scenario from being a professional dancer.

Technically speaking, our bodies aren't even designed to be upright on 2 legs.

Professional Ballet IS very competitive, eating disorders ARE rife and you DO have to have the perfect shape (I know I used to be one...).

However, kids ballet SHOULD be very different (otherwise try a different teacher!) - it should be a fun hobby that can help children with musicality, co-ordination, flexibility, fitness etc.. It should never be about shape or body image. Lots of kids love performing and enjoy working as a team (not competing!).

Most professional dancers (in modern, contemporary companies or West End etc...) have trained in Ballet. It gives a solid foundation to many other forms of dance.

Lots of other sports also require very specific body types tho' (but agree professional ballet is hideous for body image)

oh and pointe work doesn't hurt or injure your feet (perhaps blisters when first training etc..)

So Dittany are you saying you should discourage a four or five year old from taking part in an activity that will improve their fitness, flexibility and co-ordination as well as being tremendous fun because 10 or 12 years down the road if they are still pursuing it as a hobby they may have the option of going on pointe?