Please or to access all these features

Add post

Watch this thread

Save thread

Start a new thread

Flip thread

Hide thread

My feed

Active Unanswered threads

Getting started FAQ's

Unanswered threads Acronyms Talk guidelines

Hide shortcut buttons

Talk

AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Flip

1 2 ··· 10 11 12 ··· 20 21

Original poster

to think that encouraging your daughter to learn ballet is cruel

506 replies

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 13:07

Because BASICALLY, ballet is all about body image and is a money-making racket to boot (silly costumes and unecessary shoes).

There just AREN'T curvy ballerinas. You have to have the perfect body - thin, willowy and in perfect proportion. I well remember when my 11 year-old best mate was rejected from the Royal Ballet School because her 'shoulders were too wide'. She cried for weeks. Ballet had been her life.

Basically, they either get sick of it themselves, or they stop because they realise that their BODIES ARE IMPERFECT. Either way, the time could be better used doing some sort of more useful modern dance that you can learn in £1.99 Asda trainers which isn't dependent on having a perfect body.

Please take your daughters to something more useful instead.

OP posts:

cory · 16/04/2009 15:47

madwomanintheattic on Thu 16-Apr-09 15:44:38
"i'm getting a bit lost on when it's supposed to be pink princessy too tbh - or are we still at the pre-school bit here?"

I would assume so; certainly at dc's ballet school, pink is for 3-5 yos. An age when it is almost impossible to get them out of pink anyway. But thankfully reaction sets in.

Simplysally · 16/04/2009 15:55

My dd wears a blue leotard for ballet. Goes nicely with the pink skirt .

I think the older girls wear black leotards.

MeAndMyMonkey · 16/04/2009 15:58

MP you are being totally unreasonable and you know it!

In fact this thread has inspired me to enroll dd for ballet lessons forthwith.

However, I do feel the same as you (and I KNOW I'm being unreasonable) about little girls and horse-riding, can't get pony club images out of my head. But the difference is I do know I'm being unreasonable!

Do you feel the same way about competitive sports day too (ie that it's unreasonable)?

brokenrecord · 16/04/2009 16:05

I can't quite get my head around the story about your friend, MP...
Assuming that she presumably went to quite a lot of lessons prior to the audition, and probably not just your cheapie ones down at the church hall, did no-one think to point out to her that maybe she didn't have the right physique for professional ballet? Raising her expectations in that way is what sounds cruel, as much as taking her to a lesson in itself.

cory · 16/04/2009 16:08

but surely the whole point of an audition is that you might not get in? the cruelty would lie in not having prepared the child for this and having a fall-back plan

Ripeberry · 16/04/2009 16:32

My DD2 is willowy with long legs and arms and she will be 7yrs old this year. But she has NEVER been interested in ballet and just wanted to do Tae Kwan Do and Horseriding instead

pointydog · 16/04/2009 16:46

monkey, anyone with any sense keeps their dc away from horse riding places because of the cost. Cauchemar

MeAndMyMonkey · 16/04/2009 16:53

Luckily, pointy, I have even less money than sense. Cauchemar indeed ( yes of course I had to look that up)!

SugarSkyHigh · 16/04/2009 16:59

My DD takes her ballet very seriously, it's her choice. She does 6 hours of ballet a week. Because she has a good grounding in ballet, she can just pick up tap/modern etc. very easily when needed.

Since she has been doing more intensive ballet training, her school work and attitude to work has improved immensely. She is not that academic but doing dance gives her self-esteem, it's something she is 'good' at.

She is graceful and has good posture and you CAN tell she is a ballet dancer.

As well as this, it has given her an appreciation of classical music - Tchaichovsky (sp??) etc. Yesterday we went to the London Colliseum and she enjoyed among other things watching ballet to Elgar's enigma variations and now has asked lots of questions about him. She is 10 yrs old.

brokenrecord · 16/04/2009 17:00

Quite Cory. Not just that she might not be the right shape for ballet, but that it's a highly competitive audition... Did no-one think to prepare her for that possibility? I wonder if she regrets doing ballet or if she looks back on it as something she enjoyed...?

Also, we were left in no doubt that we weren't the right shape for a career in ballet, but were able to distinguish between not being the right shape for ballet and being perfectly fine for other things - bit of an assumption to think that children aren't bright enough to understand that.

aGalChangedHerName · 16/04/2009 17:00

Just out of interest MP? What activities do you allow your dd's to do?

Do they ever get to choose their own stuff?

Original poster

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 17:06

have answered that below agal

OP posts:

ramonaquimby · 16/04/2009 17:14

ballet....sinister.....

hahahahahahahahahaha

need to hide this thread, it's ridiculous

cory · 16/04/2009 17:17

no, mp. you only answered the question of what they actually do do

I'd be quite interested in hearing how you would react if they wanted to do something you thought of as too pink and fluffy

also, how you would react if any sons of yours wanted to engage in stereotypical male activities

aGalChangedHerName · 16/04/2009 17:18

Just read through sorry.

I have always let my dc choose their own stuff and don't get folk who choose for their dc??

Ds's have taken up footy/karate/ and the god awful shite that is beavers and dropped it later. I am fully expecting dd1 to do the same with her dancing.

She is a timid,shy and not very confident but her dancing is somehting she is comfortable and happy doing. It's really brought her out of her shell. If she wants to do football or whatever else she can have a good try at it like the others.

aGalChangedHerName · 16/04/2009 17:19

Cory did MP not say below her dd's have asked to do ballet and she has said no? Could be wrong tho

Original poster

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 17:23

yes they have asked to do lots of things and I have said no - ballet, Brownies, after-school clubs, trampolining, gymnastics... You can't give your children EVERYTHING they want. And I think two activities a week is quite enough for me a six year old

OP posts:

aGalChangedHerName · 16/04/2009 17:25

Did you say no to gymnastics and the Brownies because of the same reasons as you said no to ballet MP?

aGalChangedHerName · 16/04/2009 17:26

Oh and i agree with limiting activities too. Dd1 is only 4.8 and does 1 class a week lasting 1.5 hours which is more than enough till she is a bit older imo.

I just can't imagine saying no to a club/class cos i think it's too pink or whatever.

brokenrecord · 16/04/2009 17:27

You haven't told us if your schoolfriend wishes she'd never seen a tutu???

Original poster

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 17:28

Oh no, I said no to Brownies because it is a weirdy militaristic cult

But really I am not a fan of activities for children, they should be running around in the fresh air or reading books while mummy and daddy drink gin

OP posts:

psychomum5 · 16/04/2009 17:28

so why have you said no to all the others then??

I agree with not over doing stuff, but to say no just cos you can;t be arsed is pretty selfish and cruel too dont'cha think.....

Original poster

morningpaper · 16/04/2009 17:29

I don't know brokenrecord, I am no longer in touch with her. Perhaps I should find her on Facebook and ask!

OP posts:

psychomum5 · 16/04/2009 17:30

MP, did YOU ever do any of the things you are saying no to??

cos really, you can;t say militeristic (sp?) about brownies surely inless you have experienced it......

aGalChangedHerName · 16/04/2009 17:30

I don't mind getting off my arse to tkae her to ballet etc and i can drink gin in the evening can't i?

Flip

1 2 ··· 10 11 12 ··· 20 21