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AIBU?

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Original poster

...to think you shouldn't walk round starkers in front of your son's ten-year old friend?

141 replies

fossa · 09/04/2009 20:49

No problem with nudity in front of your own family, in your own home, I know everyone has their own comfort zone.

But DS was on a sleepover where the mum walked into the bedroom in the morning with nothing on... that's odd, right? She said she forgot he was there... Just not something I would have done.

OP posts:
daisydoris · 10/04/2009 23:31

Yes what parents do. Hit the nail on the head there. Not to other people's kids tho'.

ChippingIn · 10/04/2009 23:43

Minx - I really don't understand why you are so pissed off that your friends sleep naked in your bed? If you give your friends your bed, in your room, you should give them some privacy as well. If I was staying at friends I wouldn't expect them to walk in and out of the room when they wanted to... it's common decency. Knocking is good, but pointless if you do it in that 'knock and walk in' way, why not WAIT to be told it's ok to go in - or get organised so you don't need to!

OP it wouldn't bother me (not even if it was the Dad), but tbh if it was a mistake wouldn't you just back out of the room - not go and open the curtains!

nooka · 10/04/2009 23:45

I expect she only twigged once the curtains were opened and there was a bit of light. I would have been hugely embarrassed if I had been her.

Shambolic · 10/04/2009 23:51

Interesting that many of the people saying cover up FGS, what's the matter with you, would staunchly support women's right to BF in public.

You can't have it both ways. Either bodies are natural and fine and the areas which are normally covered have more than one purpose and the primary one is not sexual, so why worry, or the parts of the bodies associated with sex should be covered in public.

In our society breasts are seen as primarily sexual and therefore should be covered?

If not, and BF in public is fine, what is wrong with a man walking down a corridor in his own home without his pants on in order to go and urinate? There is no difference to my mind.

The idea that people who go nude are "parading" is a bit odd as well. I simply take my clothes off and go to bed, then if I need a wee in the night I wander to the toilet. I don't see how that sort of behaviour can be classified as "parading" by any stretch of the imagination.

MoreLikeMiranda · 11/04/2009 09:27

There is nothing wrong in being naked around consenting adults or your own children but it shouldn't be forced upon unconensting adults and children.

It's too easy for those of you that think this acceptable behaviour to label those that don't as prudish in attempt to undermine their (our) values and win an aguement.

I have no problem with nudity at all, but everything has a place and time. I love to get my kit off at home - I have a 7 month old son and 6 year old daughter. But as my son gets older I will cover up.

I don't want to my son to have memories of seeing his mum's fanny.

In a nutshell; this woman either thought it was appropriate to show her naked body to 10 year old child, or genuinely forgot that he was there!

How bloody awful and irresponsible, I would not let my children stay with such a person.

Being "ditzy" is not endearing, it's a poor excuse when it comes to making mistakes in the care of a child.

MoreLikeMiranda · 11/04/2009 09:30

Shambolic: it's essential to get your breasts out to breastfeed and it can be done discreetly.

I've never seen a woman get naked or take her top and bra off completely to breastfeed.

There's nothing wrong in a man walking naked din his own home for a wee naked so long as he isn't spotted by someone who would be offended or feel uncomfortable at the sight.

katiestar · 11/04/2009 10:12

Why should you b/feed discreetly.Is it something to be ashamed of ?

DandyLioness · 11/04/2009 10:37

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onagar · 11/04/2009 11:01
ChippingIn · 11/04/2009 11:10

Shambolic - there's a big difference between getting one breast out to breastfeed and walking around the house naked. You can't compare the two things.

It's essential to get a breast out to breastfeed, but it's not essential to be completely naked to open curtains.

As I have already said, it wouldn't bother me if someone had done this when my child was there, but I don't think it's ideal and I wouldn't do it because it's not fair to make a visiting child uncomfortable, and let's face it, even if he's used to nudity at home, it's not the same as seeing your friends parents naked is it??

Shambolic · 11/04/2009 11:28

I can and will compare the two things.

For me it is the most natural thing in the world to go from my bedroom to the toilet without any clothes on if I need a pee at night.

If someone is staying and in my half asleep state I forget to "cover up" and they spot me, really what's the harm. It might be embarassing, but there is no harm.

The suggestion that this is wrong, irresponsible, parading or obscene is just as bizarre as people who say that BF in public is obscene.

ChippingIn · 11/04/2009 11:39

Shambolic - of course 'you' can compare the two things, anyone 'can' compare apples with bananas if they want to, it doesn't make it a reasonable comparision.

Just to clarify - I don't think it is irresponsible, parading nor obscene and it wouldn't stop me allowing my child to stay there, I think that's a bit OTT. I just think that it's not nice to risk embarassing a visitor, especially if that visitor is a young child or to upset the parents of the child if they are not happy with you doing so, thus risk spoiling the friendship between the children.

Shambolic · 11/04/2009 11:42

People have said that a woman accidentally wandering into her sons room without any clothes on, having forgotten that he has a friend staying, is is wrong, irresponsible, parading or obscene.

I find that response baffling.

It was an accident for crying out loud. People seem determined to put some kind of seedy undertone to what was a perfectly normal thing to do.

TheLadyEvenstar · 11/04/2009 12:45

I have a 10 1/2 yr old ds1 and an 18m old ds2, an 8 yr old dn and a 5 yr old dn. all are used to seeing me naked and ds's are used to seeing their dad naked. Ds1 regularly jumps in the shower with me if he wants or with dp. There is nothing sinister or untoward about it, we just don't hide away...hell would be a bit silly for me to now when ds1 watched ds2 being born!

No harm was done in the OP's situation what happened was an accident.

Blondeshavemorefun · 11/04/2009 14:03

"daisydoris Fri 10-Apr-09 22:53:27

Yes common sense. You don't walk around naked for one. You don't forget who's in house i'm sorry"

at last - someone who agrees with me - by all means walk about naked in your own home but if you have visitors or friends of your children staying over, then cover up

and agree with morelikemiranda - how can you forget you have a 8/10 etc yr old staying with you?

it is being iresponsible - your child is in that persons care - if there was a fire, i would like to think she hadnt/wouldnt forget about her childs friend staying

TheLadyEvenstar · 11/04/2009 14:15

But there is a difference with waking up in the morning and still being half asleep walking into your dc's room to wake them up and being woken by a fire. I am sure in the latter you would instantly be alert.

onagar · 11/04/2009 14:22

Well since we're considering what happens in a fire I have a question for those who think it's so dreadful to see someone naked. if there was a fire would you rescue the kids first or search for your dressing gown.

TheLadyEvenstar · 11/04/2009 14:24

Onagar lol knowing me i would grab kids and dash out then worry about whether i had anything on..

but having been in a fire when ds1 was 8 months old i know how i would react. I ended up in the street in a towel until the fire was out...mind you a rather dashing helpful and sexy kind fireman did give me his jacket swoon which was very nice of him.

DandyLioness · 11/04/2009 14:34

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

onagar · 11/04/2009 14:56

Dandylioness, it seemed like a lot of people, but some of the comments were from the same people.

Blondeshavemorefun thinks it is basically indecent exposure

Minxofmancunia hates glimpsing naked women at the gym, hates the idea of visitors sleeping naked in a bed and thinks naturism is bordering on emotional abuse.

MoreLikeMiranda thinks breastfeeding is ok as long as you are careful not to let anyone see anything.

And someone thought that opening the curtains in the nude was exhibitionism (oh that was you )

I think people worry too much.

Mumcentreplus · 11/04/2009 15:00

who tha heck cares about seeing another woman bits??..

TheLadyEvenstar · 11/04/2009 15:03

Lets face it none of us were born fully clothed and as kids i am sure there were some occassions where you had your clothes off. I know i did, I spent loads of time undressing whenever i was dressed...

I hate the "tabooness of nudism, a body is not a scary thing at all and if we teach our children to shy away from something so natural what message are we giving them?

There is a difference between nudism and sexual/emtional abuse.

Shambolic · 11/04/2009 15:53

Parading is a very different word to wandering though. Which is why people have picked up on it.

The definition of parading (when not involving troops) is "an ostentatious display". Very different from wandering around. Parading implies an intention for other people to see and notice and that is why the person is doing it - it's about exhibitionism. Wandering around on the other hand implies that the person is quietly going about their business.

Either way wandering is a less laoded term so let's say we're OK with that.

Many people on the thread have said that even if the children seeing the adult naked was accidental, this is still obscene, abusive and irresponsible...

DandyLioness · 11/04/2009 16:04

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

MoreLikeMiranda · 11/04/2009 18:34

when did i say BF isok so long as you cover up?

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