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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think you shouldn't walk round starkers in front of your son's ten-year old friend?

141 replies

fossa · 09/04/2009 20:49

No problem with nudity in front of your own family, in your own home, I know everyone has their own comfort zone.

But DS was on a sleepover where the mum walked into the bedroom in the morning with nothing on... that's odd, right? She said she forgot he was there... Just not something I would have done.

OP posts:
DandyLioness · 10/04/2009 20:01

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

captainpeacock · 10/04/2009 20:04

We had friends who were naturalists and they themselves said that there dds got to the point where they were begging them not to take them on naturist holidays as they had begun puberty and had become more body conscious. Apparently they don't take them anymore but the husband still waters the garden with nothing on but a shirt and it all hanging loose down below, much to the concern of the neighbours

solidgoldshaggingbunnies · 10/04/2009 20:53

It's basically a matter of striking a balance between the right of a person to be naked in their own home and the right of another person not to have to see a naked body if it's going to put them off their conrflakes. FWIW I think if you catch a brief, not-really-intentional flash of someone in the scut then you should get the fuck over it, it won't kill you. But it is, of course, totally wrong to expect anyone, child or adult, to be naked or to have to spend time with naked people when it makes them really uncomfortable.

FairLadyOfMuslinCloth · 10/04/2009 21:09

hmm...in ops ase...I can see why she is a bit about it, but yeah, I assume , as others do, that the mum didn't do it purposefully....and "forgetting" a sleep over child...well....if it was first thing in the morning, half asleep, surely that can kinda happen?

I had an incident last year...I was in the bath (luckily mostly covered up with bubbles) and es had a friend in his room...we don't have a lock n teh bathroom door, so, I informed the boys that I was in the bath and not to come into the bathroom....
well...the guestboy only walked in on me, didn't he...he was mortified, so was I...(he was about 9 or 10...as a bit younger than my es)...he had forgotten...(but then inhis house they only have an upstairs bathroom, so, that possibly would be why)....he only saw my boobs and well...they would not be an unusual thing for him, as his mum has been breastfeding the last 4 years and his oldest sister was also bf'ing....

When I was about 10 I walked in on an uncle in the shower....I was so embaressed...but then, my mum was not married, and I never had seen a man naked....it was a bit of a shock.......he was totally cool about it....having to dd himself...

Also saw a whole load of my uncles and aunts naked on a nudist beach and many other naked adults (as well as children...but that isn't unusual in Germany anyway)...at first it was a bit weird, but than I just forgottong about my own and their nakedness....

ChezzaB · 10/04/2009 21:45

You guys obviously didn't watch that disturbing documentary last night then! That scared me just about naturism in general which I have nothing whatsoever against but there was this one family in particular who had 2 young children, probably 10/12 and the parents were constantly naked even when the kids had friends over!! Is that not just slightly wierd?

minxofmancunia · 10/04/2009 22:22

not just wierd but inappropriate and bordering on emotional abuse imo

vixma · 10/04/2009 22:32

Not on

daisydoris · 10/04/2009 22:42

I agree with the fact that it is weird to stomp about naked when you have visitors of any age! What you do in your own family when all alone is fine- naked around the house whatever you want as long as all happy. However, it may not be fine with others and we have to respect that. I would not be v happy if my child came home and said that his friends mother had walked in naked. Mistake or no mistake. I would have expected the mother to phone up to explain what had happened and apologise.

beanieb · 10/04/2009 22:45

"I wonder what the responses would be if you had a DD staying there and it was the father "accidently" entering his daughters room naked?"

would it be so bad if the responses were the same?

You're putting and emphasis on th 'accidentally' when there is really no reason to. If a man walked into a room nakes accidentally, it could actually have been accidentally.

beanieb · 10/04/2009 22:47

"When you go in in the morning they frantically grab the covers over themselves" don't you knock first

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 10/04/2009 22:49

Exactly, Beanieb.
The lady forgot. I can easily imagine doing that. And if it was a dad, just the same.
I love it that there are so many perfect people on this thread though.

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 10/04/2009 22:49

I would be fit to kill.
as if she forgot ffs.

daisydoris · 10/04/2009 22:50

Perfect my arse! you use common sense when kids in the house visiting!

beanieb · 10/04/2009 22:51

common sense?

daisydoris · 10/04/2009 22:53

Yes common sense. You don't walk around naked for one. You don't forget who's in house i'm sorry.

nooka · 10/04/2009 22:54

Why is it that we think our bodies are so scary? Surely that's a bit sad isn't it?

My children are coming up 10 and 8 and whilst we don't run around naked neither do we close doors, so our kids don't have an issue with whether we (or they) are dressed or not. I wouldn't intentionally appear naked if they had a friend over, but it could happen that they walked in when I was having a bath or getting changed, and I can imagine being half asleep and forgetting there was a kid to stay the night. Having said that I do wear PJs, but that's just because I get cold, nothing to do with being modest.

My mother still walks about naked if she is going from her bedroom to the bathroom and back, I can't see the big deal really.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 10/04/2009 22:54

Well maybe I'm the only forgetful nude sleeper around me, but take it from me it is quite possible to forget. And the fact that there are posters insisting that it is not, and therefore this poor woman must be a flagrant exhibitionist, makes me think that you are a) intolerant and b) very uptight.
And maybe c) a bit repressed.
Anyway, night all. I'm going to bed. Naked.

DandyLioness · 10/04/2009 22:56

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

daisydoris · 10/04/2009 22:57

Not repressed just sensible thanks very much for the insult.Sensible where children are concerned when they are not my own. Good night LGP - watch it doesn't happen to you one day.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 10/04/2009 22:59

Watch what does't happen to me one day? That one of my children accidentally sees the naked body of an adult? I can't say it would be an issue.
Or is there something else I'm missing here?

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 10/04/2009 23:01

Oh, you mean watch I don't accidentally horrify one of my DC's friends with the sight of my flabby middle-aged body.
Well if thir parents were going to react like you, then I wouldn't have a problem laughing at them.

daisydoris · 10/04/2009 23:01

Exactly my thought Dandy, I agree totally. We are obviously the uptight ones.!!!!

minxofmancunia · 10/04/2009 23:08

beanieb yes of course I knock but even when they say "come in" there's still rummaging, it's bloody rude IMO.

Also there's the issue that I've had to creep in in the middle of the night once to get dhs inhaler (after knocking) and they were there bollock naked in my bed and acted affronted when I said I needed to get something. Have some respect, all you have to do is sling a t-shirt on for 1 night. Anyway separate issue.

it's one thing getting changed in your own house or having a shower and another parading about naked, it's not like we do things all behind closed doors, we'll often sit and chat in the bathroom as a family if someones having a bath ec. But dd is only 2, she may feel uncomfortable with this when she's older.

I can only go from my own esperience that having naked, liberated, bare all parading about parents was humiliating and embarrassing and I can remember just wanting them to stop.

I'm sure it's very different for other people and that's fair enough.

theherbgarden · 10/04/2009 23:16

yanbu - not normal behaviour.

nooka · 10/04/2009 23:26

I've never paraded naked - I thought you needed a gun for parading (have done it in the CCF). I have however wandered around my house looking for things in that gap between taking my clothes off and putting new ones (PJs etc) on. As my house isn't overlooked I can't say I think twice about this unless it is cold, in which case I get dressed pronto. My children can often be found naked, and dh sleeps naked (he gets much too hot with even a t-shirt) so gets up and pees, goes to the shower etc all naked. I really can't see the big deal about this. I do remember feeling a bit embarrassed when my mum would like to have long conversations with us when she was in the bath, but then many things my mother did embarrassed me - isn't that just what parents do?

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