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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

...to think you shouldn't walk round starkers in front of your son's ten-year old friend?

141 replies

fossa · 09/04/2009 20:49

No problem with nudity in front of your own family, in your own home, I know everyone has their own comfort zone.

But DS was on a sleepover where the mum walked into the bedroom in the morning with nothing on... that's odd, right? She said she forgot he was there... Just not something I would have done.

OP posts:
Stayingsunnygirl · 09/04/2009 21:51

Well, I sleep in the nude, and I'm pretty forgetful, but I've never forgotten to put a nightie on when there have been sleepover guests (of whatever age) in the house.

That said, if it happened to one of my sons at a sleepover at someone else's house, I wouldn't get het up about it. I doubt she had any malign intent.

Lancelottie · 09/04/2009 21:57

Well...

I pottered over to pick up a friend's son for a Saturday morning activity not so long ago. Friend's DH ambled past starkers from the shower, saw me, said 'Oh hi Lottie, hi LottieJunior', and ambled on to the bedroom...

only to reappear five minutes later, this time WITH clothes and a deep red blush, to say 'I can't believe I just did that!"

loobeylou · 09/04/2009 22:11

so she opened the curtains starkers too, blimey, some people have no modesty! I hope she has no overlooking neighbours?

TheSmallClanger · 09/04/2009 22:19

She sounds like a bit of an exhibitionist if she opened the curtains and then went round telling everyone what she'd done.
Not that that's anything to worry about, particularly.

TheSmallClanger · 09/04/2009 22:20

Sorry, last post sounded a bit sarky I think.

Nancy66 · 09/04/2009 22:31

All sounds a bit odd to me. 10 year old boys are on the cusps of puberty - even if she forgot your son was there it still means she parades around naked in front of her own son.

Makes me a bit uncomfortable.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 09/04/2009 22:54

Well my 11-year-old DD quite happily walks into the bathroom to have a chat with DH while he is in the shower. Would that make you uncomfortable, Nancy?

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/04/2009 23:02

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captainpeacock · 09/04/2009 23:16

I used sleep naked when the dcs were small, but since they have got older I don't. They are their friends would be mortified if they saw my rather saggy overweight body - it could scar a young boys mind for life. Having said that even when I did sleep naked I never did if we had visitors staying.

Nancy66 · 09/04/2009 23:33

Well my 11-year-old DD quite happily walks into the bathroom to have a chat with DH while he is in the shower. Would that make you uncomfortable, Nancy?

...yep.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 09/04/2009 23:48

Why?

SparklyGothKat · 09/04/2009 23:51

my 11 year old DS1 chats to me while I'm in the bath and has seen me naked.. I do wear nightclothes so wouldn't make the same mistake as this mum though

brimfull · 09/04/2009 23:56

my dd used to see her friends dad naked when she slept over there

she wasn't bothered at all by it ,found it a bit odd and funy but I didn't think anything of it as she was clearly not made to feel uncomfortable

If he had stood in the room starkers and engaged her in a conversation she would have been mortified and I would have been alarmed .But it was purely an innocent walkbay starkers type of thing and innocent enough .

KerryMumbles · 09/04/2009 23:58

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Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Nancy66 · 10/04/2009 00:05

Ladyglencora - just the way I feel. i couldn't have gone into a room aged 11 and chatted to my dad while he was starkers. I'd have been too embarrassed and it would have felt inappropriate.

Equally now, as an adult woman, I wouldn't take a shower while an 11 year old boy made small talk with me. I like my privacy.

LadyGlencoraPalliser · 10/04/2009 00:10

Well to be honest Nancy, I am surprised that DD1 is still happy to wander in and chat to DH in the bathroom as she likes to keep the door shut when she has a shower herself!
But as long as she is not embarrassed I think that is a good thing.
We do wander around naked a lot in our house and I think it is a lot healthier than the very prudish way I was brought up.
What irritates me, and there are undertones of it on this thread, is the way nudity is automatically equated with sexualised behaviour.

Nancy66 · 10/04/2009 00:17

I understand what you mean - in your case it's within your family but in the case of the OP - it was a friend's mum. My nephew is 12 and he's obsessed with boobs - perfectly natural of course - but constantly oggling them and giggling about them with his mate and talking about which girls in his class wear bras and which don't.

They also talk about whose mum is 'fit' and whose mum isn't. A 10 year old boy seeing his mate's mum's fanny IS a bit odd.

HerBeatitudeLittleBella · 10/04/2009 08:01

But teenage boys - and frankly 50 year old men in our culture - constantly giggle about women's bodies precisely because we are so ridiculously uptight about a bit of nekkidness and as LadyG says, equate nudity with sexual behaviour.

It never ceases to crease me up with mirth how uncomfortable the English are with the idea of nakedness.

I do hope whoever said the sight of a saggy female body might damage a boy for life was joking. Funny how a porn picture of an airbrushed woman with no pubic hair, legs spread and idiotic look on face (which is how so many young lads are introduced to the naked female body) isn't considered as damaging as a fleeting glimpse of a normal female body attached to a real woman.

Shambolic · 10/04/2009 10:14

Just rearead this and I've realised that the couple of comments saying "if a boy saw me naked it's scar him for life" type comments have made me feel a bit sad.

I know they're jokey comments and i can imagine saying it myself but I just thought, it's sad that we should feel that our bodies, as adult women who have had childre, are shocking to look at. Our bodies are normal, it is stick thin models and pneumatic porn stars who have abnormal bodies.

Maybe society would be better if young men were able to see a range of women's bodies rather that just and impossible ideal, which they then expect and young women feel pressurised to meet...

edam · 10/04/2009 10:19

God, I'd have been mortified if I walked past one of ds's friends naked. Or if I was ten and someone else's parent walked past me naked!

Shambolic's got a point, though, something very wrong about a society where the only naked bodies most boys see are airbrushed on the cover of smutty magazines, meeting the porn aesthetic of no pubic hair and all that.

DandyLioness · 10/04/2009 10:29

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wabbit · 10/04/2009 10:33

Nancy - it's natural for eachothers naked bodies to be seen in the family home, there's nothing inappropriate about it at all, I only apologiese to my dd (17) yesterday that she always seems to come into the bathroom when I'm mid trimming my 'lady garden' legs akimbo! doesn't worry her - wouldn't worry me if she did the same!

ds is still only 3 so privvy to all ablutions - me - dp - dd

It's just part of being in a family

Shambolic · 10/04/2009 10:40

ROFL I always open the curtains (fnahfnah) in the nude.

Surely it's not exhibitionism unless anyone can see up into the room?

i find it hilarious that my DH always puts his pants on first. I point out that a. no-one can see and b. if they could why would they be interested. They'd only see his chest from that angle anyway.

My mum always says "you can be seen from the street" as she manhadles her bra on under her floor length nightie and changes from her under-nightie knickers to her daytime knickers...

DandyLioness · 10/04/2009 10:48

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ThePellyandMe · 10/04/2009 10:52

YABU, I really don't think it's a big deal.

Opening curtains while naked is a bit odd but then we are overlooked so I wouldn't do it.

I have no issues with nudity, our boys are 4 and 6 but both DH and I have always wandered around naked and have no plans to change that any time soon. I think it's good for children to see the adult naked body and to see their parents relaxed with their bodies.

My dad would never walk around the house naked, he was always horrified that one of his children might see him naked and I've always hated that prudish attitude TBH.

I would remember I'm sure not to do it if others were staying and certainly when we stay in other peoples houses we always cover up but I could see how it could happen.

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