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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to applaud DH for threatening to break legs of little hoodies.......

191 replies

loflo · 09/04/2009 20:08

Driving home tonight with DH and DS and our local gang of wee knobs hardmen are throwing stones at moving cars. Clever boys that they are.

DH goes to turn our car and they do it again - so DH marches over and says in no uncertain terms that if they do it again he won't mess about it.

I have no problem at all with kids being out playing - I lived two minutes away from our current house when I grew up (and dinosaurs roamed) and we all played outside. But FFS DS is 5 and knows that throwing stones at cars is v wrong and these "young men" are at a guess 9 or 10.

Just waiting to wake up tomorrow morning to a horses head in my bed with a warning.....

OP posts:
QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 21:41

Well I did take photos and was told by the police themsleves that I shouldnt photograph other peoples children, nor should I put up a CTV camera that films the front of my house as I may accidently film the street, which is not allowed.

Do you not know that you are not allowed to try and protect yourselves?

We were also told not to report egg throwing, verbal abuse etc as they are not crimes. We should write all down in a diary. Apparently, reporting it wastes police time.

noonki · 09/04/2009 21:41

quack - for years of experience of both living and working on estates I can say taht the best way to prevent neighbourhood nusiance from escalating into serious violence is to try and be as unconfrontational as possible.

If you start threatening violence to children that are chucking stones, their next step is likely to be more violent (or that of their older brothers).

Nine year olds are properly rubbish at reallising how dangereous things like throwing stones can be.

A couple of weeks ago I got the teenagers who were gobbing at each other (whilst calling shouting cunt at each other) to move out the park by talking to them. and they were so trying to wind us up by doing it. One of them even apologised.

noonki · 09/04/2009 21:43

But having read your next post - it can also be really harsh when it gets past that point. And I hope you sort it out because it's grinding.

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 21:48

noonki - you have no idea. I'd take gobbing and cunt callling any day of the week to what we experince on a daily basis.

I had to readyourlast post to DH though as the very idea that 'talking' to these youths might work was the funniest thing we have heard all day.

Do you not think we tried talking to them when we first moved in? Do you think we went straight to voilence, like I said you have no idea.

And BTW I'm dealing with 14-16 year olds, but no doubt they started off the same way as the OPs lovely young lads on her estate

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 21:55

Oh quack I am sorry it is so shite for you . At the end of the day we should all feel safe and secure at home and when you don't it has such a shit impact. Take care.

OP posts:
noonki · 09/04/2009 21:57

quackquack - that's a rubbish situation to be in.

And once things get to that point is disgusting how little any agencies are willing to help. (The diaries are a bit of a kick in the teeth .... basically write down all the shit and then eventuallty we might talk to them.....

I am arguing that what the Ops dh did is more likely to end up creating the nightmare you're in.

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 21:59

Sorry to hijack your thread loflo, I didnt mean for this to turn into a symapthy thread for me. I have wine, I'm all good

It just makes me when good people like your DH get accused of being the 'bad person'.

I have my fingers crossed that what your DH did works. Tell him I'd give him a pat on the back

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 21:59

Sorry to hijack your thread loflo, I didnt mean for this to turn into a symapthy thread for me. I have wine, I'm all good

It just makes me when good people like your DH get accused of being the 'bad person'.

I have my fingers crossed that what your DH did works. Tell him I'd give him a pat on the back

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 22:01

But most of the time nooki there is no other option. You just have to take the bull by the horns and hope for the best

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 22:01

Sorry noonki but think you are totally wrong about trying to be reasonable. Reasonable gets you nowhere

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 09/04/2009 22:02

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Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 22:02

No stress quack all adds to the wonderful world of Mumsnet!! Enjoy the wine and DH says thanks in a non tosserish fashion!

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 09/04/2009 22:02

Quack why can you not put up a camera when they have that google street thing ??

noonki · 09/04/2009 22:04

oh do the diary definatley. It is the only way i have seen asbos given out. And though they have limitations they do get some good results.

Do you have any mediation in your area?they worked with a friend of mine who's kids were being racially abused (and physically)..the mediation was between the mums and did help.

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 22:07

That is a very good question Lilyloo and one I would like to know the answer to.

But I had a policewoman and a policeman sat in my living room tell me I was only allowed to film my property. When I told them they stand the street side of my fence and throw the eggs/stones etc at my dds bedroom window, I was told I am not allowed to film the street in front of my house.

I just asked DH your question LilyLoo and he doesnt know why either. I feel a phonecall to my police station is in order.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 22:12

The guy across the street from us has a CCTV camera which points at the side of his property which is a public area. I will ask him if he has okayed it with the police.

OP posts:
TheHedgeWitch · 09/04/2009 22:13

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

TheHedgeWitch · 09/04/2009 22:14

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QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 22:14

According to my local police force if anyone reports us filming a public area we will be in trouble.

It would be really intresting to know if your neighbour has been told the same thing loflo

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 09/04/2009 22:15

you phone
they listen
they give you a number
they forget you.
or they visit and tell you as you can't prove it there is nothing they can do

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 22:15

Too true hedgewitch. Would you like to come and whisper in some ears in this direction

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 09/04/2009 22:16

Interestingly you can view your whole street now on google 'illegal doubt it'!!

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 22:17

Very nicely summed up 2shoes

TheHedgeWitch · 09/04/2009 22:19

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Message withdrawn

QuackQuackQuackQuack · 09/04/2009 22:23

I need a biker gang