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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to applaud DH for threatening to break legs of little hoodies.......

191 replies

loflo · 09/04/2009 20:08

Driving home tonight with DH and DS and our local gang of wee knobs hardmen are throwing stones at moving cars. Clever boys that they are.

DH goes to turn our car and they do it again - so DH marches over and says in no uncertain terms that if they do it again he won't mess about it.

I have no problem at all with kids being out playing - I lived two minutes away from our current house when I grew up (and dinosaurs roamed) and we all played outside. But FFS DS is 5 and knows that throwing stones at cars is v wrong and these "young men" are at a guess 9 or 10.

Just waiting to wake up tomorrow morning to a horses head in my bed with a warning.....

OP posts:
Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:46

Exactly gonaenodaethat (like the name by the way).

As for "schemes" we have them. Street football, dj'ing everything they could want or ask for. But they are attended by normal kids whose parents take them there and pick them up. Not feral beasts who will still be out when most of the world is in bed asleep.

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 09/04/2009 20:48

But the point is what else do the normal law abiding citizens do ??
Obviously this isn't the answer but everyone has a breaking point i guess.

southeastastra · 09/04/2009 20:50

that's why i'd just call the police every time something happened, insist they sort it out

have you done that already? what was their response?

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:50

you are right FlorenceDaphne. Maybe I should have headed the post that I am proud that he stood up to them. Threatening violence is not right and not what I would have done, but to let them think that they can do what they like to who they like is also not right either.

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noonki · 09/04/2009 20:51

I disagree totally with what your DH did. But completely understand why he did it.

I live in an area that has kids hanging out at the end of the road (dealing drugs and drinking) and some younger ones who chuck litter about and yell at people.

I have found the best way to deal (haha) with the older ones is to smile at them.

And with the younger in a firm but friendly way to stop.
Last week we had some hanging out on my neighbours wall for a few weeks, they then had a new baby. My neighbour was too scared to speak to them so I just went out and explained the situation and they moved on.

A couple of them muttered a bit but they were fine really.

In your sit I would have got out and told them that it was really dangerous, that they could cause a crash and that they could have hurt one of my kids. Not in a threatening way, but in a calm way. Bet they would have listened far more than being told they would have their legs broken.

lockets · 09/04/2009 20:51

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FlorenceDaphne · 09/04/2009 20:51

Exactly, Loflo. I hope you have a lovely Easter weekend.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:52

The police know who they are and have already been round numerous times during the holidays. The other problem we have is that we can't speak to our local station but to a call centre 70 miles away who simply pass on the details. Luckily through work I have direct links to our community policeman who I will speak to again in the morning.

OP posts:
Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:54

The reason lockets I did that was because she called DH a tosser which as you will see other posters have agreed was unreasonable.

OP posts:
noonki · 09/04/2009 20:55

Also if oen of the kids parents had heard your DH threaten to break the legs of their child things could have kicked off,

which would have been nasty for you DC to see.

herbietea · 09/04/2009 20:57

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southeastastra · 09/04/2009 20:57

she did say he sounded like a tosser rather than he was one though

psychomum5 · 09/04/2009 20:58

not saying this is right at all, but the two lads who have torture two other lads this week were 10ish weren;t they.

maybe more people actually telling off the lads out there who seem to think they are 'ard, and we might well get back to some respect again in the general public!

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:59

The parents noonki are sadly nowhere to be seen.

As for Ds he was in the house away from all the nonsense by this point. Had they not been as stupid to do it twice i think Dh would have let it go but when it is obviously not just one random throw then enough is enough.

OP posts:
southeastastra · 09/04/2009 21:00

talking to them like nooki suggested really throws them, they just probably usually get more shouting back at them

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 21:00

oh right southeastastra thats ok then .

OP posts:
Lilyloo · 09/04/2009 21:01

TBH those of us who have little dealings of these incidents would think call the police.
TBH the police have very little power over youths inciting trouble.
It takes an awful lot of involvement to even get an asbo!!

noonki · 09/04/2009 21:01

but chucking stones at cars is something so many friends of mine (and I did) when we were that age...a good yelling at would do, not a threat of violence.

Lilyloo · 09/04/2009 21:03

Interestingly when my uncle got assaulted it was the talking to them that lead to him getting attacked.
Then when he tore the shirt of one of them in the fracas they had the cheek to tell him he better pay for a new shirt

noonki · 09/04/2009 21:03

southeastastra - that is it. It is very hard to carry on being rude to someone when they are being reasonable with you.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 21:04

no way noonki! i would have been frogmarched home and pocket money withdrawn for doing that and thats my point. These kids parents don't care and would think its fine there just being kids. But they aren't.

Right so next time I will yell but not threaten violence

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herbietea · 09/04/2009 21:05

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Lilyloo · 09/04/2009 21:08

Agree Herbie

duchesse · 09/04/2009 21:12

I agree, Herbie. I don't think a lot of people realise quite how lawless some children have become, in parallel with the loss of authority of police and teachers. They know they're untouchable and they have nothing to lose by being foul. What it boils down to is parents condoning their behaviour, either tacitly or outwardly. If any of us had been frogmarched home by a neighbour or by a police officer, our parents would practically have died from embarrassment. That was 30 odd years ago, and does not happen in quite a few families any more. In fact, kicking against the system is encouraged in many families by parents who feel marginalised (with the results that we see now...)

2shoestrodonalltheeggs · 09/04/2009 21:14

he wasn't bu
I am quite sure he wouldn't have done it.
but it might make them think twice.