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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

to applaud DH for threatening to break legs of little hoodies.......

191 replies

loflo · 09/04/2009 20:08

Driving home tonight with DH and DS and our local gang of wee knobs hardmen are throwing stones at moving cars. Clever boys that they are.

DH goes to turn our car and they do it again - so DH marches over and says in no uncertain terms that if they do it again he won't mess about it.

I have no problem at all with kids being out playing - I lived two minutes away from our current house when I grew up (and dinosaurs roamed) and we all played outside. But FFS DS is 5 and knows that throwing stones at cars is v wrong and these "young men" are at a guess 9 or 10.

Just waiting to wake up tomorrow morning to a horses head in my bed with a warning.....

OP posts:
ConfusedoftheSouth · 09/04/2009 20:28

I can't condone the threat, but I agree with those who ask what else do you do?

Last Sunday, DP and I were walking to his mum's, at about 3PM, on a busy street, in a reasonably 'naice' area and saw a group of 4-5 kids ganging up on an old man. He was really old, appeared confused, and they were all stepping up to him as he tried to walk away, all on their stupid bikes, I'm sure you can imagine the scene.

I'd say they were about 13 on average. DP and I stopped and gave them the stare until eventually they let the old man walk away.

I'm sure they were doing some very similar things to the kids the OP describes 3 or 4 years ago, and I'm sure they'll be the kind to gang up on and beat up vulnerable people now and in the future.

The younger the attempts to intervene, the better, as far as I'm concerned.

SoupDreggon · 09/04/2009 20:28

I would like to know how the fact that I can afford private orthodontic treatment for my children makes me a tosser.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:29

Yes duchesse the police have been informed, as have youth workers and every other agency that might make a difference. But it makes no difference. Why? Cos they go home and no-one gives a shit.

DH is generally the most laid back man you will find but if anyone tries to hurt someone he loves he will let them know he is not happy. I spend my days working with disaffected young folk so can look forward to having them as clients in five years time when their parents kick them out and the taxpayer has to pick up the pieces and pay the bills.....

OP posts:
Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:29

Oh soup have I touched a nerve

OP posts:
SoupDreggon · 09/04/2009 20:30

No, you've made a ridiculous comment.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:31

As have you dear about my Dh. Away back to your daily mail now theres a girl...

OP posts:
southeastastra · 09/04/2009 20:33

fgs, leave soupy alone, it's making you sound unbalanced yourself.

get back onto the police they have the power to deal with these kids, your dp will just end up getting nicked himself.

SoupDreggon · 09/04/2009 20:33

No, my comment wasn't ridiculous, your DH made violent threats to some children.

Claire2009 · 09/04/2009 20:34

Agree with SoupDreggon here.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:36

No the police don't have the power thats the problem southeastastra. As for unbalanced of course I am . But calling someones DH a tosser for sticking up for himself, his family and his property isn't exactly suggesting living in the real world either now is it???

OP posts:
FlorenceDaphne · 09/04/2009 20:36

Hang on a sec- Soupy hasn't made any Daily Mailesque comments. What was that all about? And it's a bit off to drag orthodontic treatment and the cost of cars into this.

SoupDreggon · 09/04/2009 20:36

Not entirely sure where the Daily Mail fits into all this

Anyway, I'll leave you to try and justify threatening children with violence.

SoupDreggon · 09/04/2009 20:37

Actually, I didn't call him a tosser for sticking up for himself, his family and his property, I called him a tosser for threatening 10 year old children with violence. There is a difference.

everGreensleeves · 09/04/2009 20:37

As I read it, she called your dh a tosser because he threatened to break some children's legs. Fair comment IMO. He sounds like the grown-up version of the kids throwing the stones - maybe you should buy him a hoodie

FlorenceDaphne · 09/04/2009 20:38

But he wasn't just sticking up for himself, was he, now? He was threatening acts of horrible and gratuitous violence. One does not always equate the other.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:39

Because soup you obviously don't live near any of these little darlings and have to put up with them and their yob like behaviour. So it's ok for them to tell old ladies to feck off and threaten to put their windows in? Grand.

Hope you aren't ever a sad old pensioner living alone with no-one looking out for you.....

OP posts:
FlorenceDaphne · 09/04/2009 20:40

Oh for heavens' sake. No-one's saying that it's ok to do those horrid things. But people are saying that violence, or threats of, against children are not on.

gonaenodaethat · 09/04/2009 20:41

He probably shouldn't've done it but I can see why he did.

'confronting them, telling them to stop, even frogmarching them home (I think), yes. but not threatening them with violence. it won't teach them anything positive about how to function as a positive part of society'

Firstly, he'd probably just get more of the same from their parents, and secondly, why is teaching them about how to function in society his responsibility? He just wants them to stop throwing stones at his car.

I also think it's a bit strong to call him a tosser, and quite frankly uncalled for.

southeastastra · 09/04/2009 20:42

the police do have 'schemes' or whatever to try and break this cycle of bad behaviour. get onto them and ask them what they are doing about it.

JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 09/04/2009 20:43

100% agree with everything soupy has said.

If my DP threatened a group of 10yr old lads wth violence I certainly wouldn't be boasting about it.

I would be deeply ashamed.

Original poster
loflo · 09/04/2009 20:43

Yip and do you know what I don't blame him. Sometimes enough is enough. No he shouldn't have threatened violence, yes he does already have a hoody and no he would never be violent. But what else do you do? Thats my point???

Has anyone ever taught these kids right from wrong. No. Has anyone given a shit about where they are or what they are doing? No.

They are feral in every sense of the word and no input from the police or other agencies will change it. It is who they are. The only language they understand is f's and c's. So what else do we do?

OP posts:
KimiWantsAnEasterEgg · 09/04/2009 20:43

Trouble is now so many kids just run wild and the parents don't give a toss as long as they are not under their feet, the structure of family is going down the pan faster then a bad vindaloo and most kids like the ones you mention have poor or no role models.
Decent people are at a loss over what to do as the vicky pollards of this world are no longer a piss take on the T.V they are breeding like rats and taking over.
Today they are throwing stones tomorrow they could be trying to kill someone for their pocket money.

RumourOfAHurricane · 09/04/2009 20:43

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

FlorenceDaphne · 09/04/2009 20:45

Loflo- I honestly don't know. I teach these types of children and they'd probably just enjoy a slanging match. I don't know how to solve your problem; I wish I did. I just feel that threats of violnce do not form part of the answer.

JaquelinehydeAllTheEggs · 09/04/2009 20:45

So it's wrong for a young immature boy/thug to tell an old woman to fuck off, but it is perfectly OK for a grown man to threaten a group of young immature boys/thugs.