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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Am I being unreasonable: I get annoyed when people think they can put their grubby hands in my pram and touch my DS!

134 replies

salt101 · 06/04/2009 19:46

Does this happy to anyone else? You are out/on the bus/walking in the park. Someone comes to chat or starts talking to DS, he smiles being the lovely sociable baby...and they stick their hands in/stroke his hand/touch his face/put his dummy in!!!

Has anyone said anything? It usually happens so fast, I'm not quick enough.....

anyone?

OP posts:
southeastastra · 06/04/2009 19:47

due to the amount of these threads, i no longer touch babies.

ahfeckit · 06/04/2009 19:49

I wouldn't be offended, infact I'd find it a compliment that they'd want to touch my baby. Just another form of being affectionate, human touch. It's happened a few times when out and about, but wouldn't say it's something that gets me upset, no.

conniedescending · 06/04/2009 19:50

YABU - people are admiring your beautiful baby. Stop being so precious and enjoy showiing him off.

salt101 · 06/04/2009 19:50

I think I meant to say..."does this happen to anyone else...not happy!

Sorry to repeat a thread- I get the impression I'm not alone in my thinking

OP posts:
justaboutback · 06/04/2009 19:52

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 06/04/2009 19:54

Yes, it happened to me a lot, with both my boys and yes I used to say something.

I used to say "Thank you, obviously I think he's gorgeous too."

It honestly never occured to me to feel outraged or anything, but, like SEA, I am grateful for these threads, cos now I know that to be on the safe side, I need to ignore all the cute squishy babies Gin

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 06/04/2009 19:55

well, wishful thinking there, I think. I meant

katiestar · 06/04/2009 19:55

doesn't your baby enjoy this attention.YABU and very precious !

katiestar · 06/04/2009 19:55

doesn't your baby enjoy this attention.YABU and very precious !

nametaken · 06/04/2009 19:56

how old is your baby? If it's a newborn I'd be annoyed too, in fact, I'd push their hand away

pointydog · 06/04/2009 20:01

are their hands grubby?

agree with southeast. I used to think it was a nice thing to do. Now I wouldn't get too close to anyone else's baby due to these sorts of threads.

noonki · 06/04/2009 20:01

I think it's really sad that you would mind. (unless they are really really young or fast asleep)

Kbear · 06/04/2009 20:03

If they aren't licking him I wouldn't mind! Seriously, keep some baby wipes handy to wipe his hands afterwards if you must but it's a sad day when people upset you because they want to coo over your lovely baby.

bloss · 06/04/2009 20:04

Message withdrawn

Kbear · 06/04/2009 20:05

An elderly man once touched my DS's head when he was in the pram and said "God bless you young man" - I thought was a lovely gesture.

Kbear · 06/04/2009 20:05

An elderly man once touched my DS's head when he was in the pram and said "God bless you young man" - I thought was a lovely gesture.

LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 06/04/2009 20:07

I think it's lovely but as with others on the thread thanks to mumsnet I keep a 2 metre distance from all babies at all times now.

I think babies just bring so much JOY to not just the parents but everyone that they should be shared.

YABU.

salt101 · 06/04/2009 20:08

thanks for your views
he's 5months old
I think my problem stems from the fact that I see him as an extension of myself and I live in central London where people don't acknowledge eachother, let alone touch. So, it has come as a bit of a shock that people think it is their right to touch.

When I was pregnant I really wouldn't have liked people touching my belly....nobody did, but I would have stepped back or said something.

Yes, in a way it is sad that I mind....but would YOU want a complete stranger touching your face with a grubby hand?!!!

OP posts:
LibrasJusticeLeagueofBiscuits · 06/04/2009 20:10

But babies don't have the boundary issues that we have, they haven't yet learnt that being touched by strangers isn't the done thing. Most babies love new experiences.

pointydog · 06/04/2009 20:10

It does coem as something of a surprise, I suppose, to realise that many people are drawn to babies and want to make a connection or comment. Babies make people feel good.

chocolepew · 06/04/2009 20:11

All of their hands can't be grubby. My DD had, to put it mildly, a big fat face . Her cheeks were massive. hardly any person over the age of 50 could pass without chuking her cheeks. It didn't do her any harm.

screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:13

salt101 I can sympathise with fear of germs if it's your first baby, BUT, I also live in London, and I think it is lovely that babies bring out a nice squidgy side to people, prompts them to make conversation, makes you feel part of a community, wind daisies in your hair and skip .............

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 06/04/2009 20:13

Depends how grubby. Most people don't go round with filthy hands.

And if someone wanted to tell me how gorgeous I was, and placed a light hand on me briefly in total innocence, just to make a human connection, I can honestly say I wouldn't mind at all.

But nobody does that to adults, do they?

IlanaK · 06/04/2009 20:14

No, in my view you are not being unreasonable. I hate people toucing my ds3. He is 8 months old now, but I still hate it. I have no problem with friends and family doing it, but strangers - yuck. You have no idea where their hands have been and what they may be passing on. And I know I am not alone in thinking this - many of my friends feel the same. I usually wear ds in sling, and despite being even closer to me, people think they can touch him. My worst bug bear is kids touching or kissing him. I was on an outing with other families last week and one little girl was quite taken with him. I allowed her to play with him lots and lots even though she was touchinghim loads. But when she started kissing him, I drew the line. I politely explained that I didn't mind her playing with him, but not to kiss him.

I know I will be flamed for this, but I don't care. (need a sticking out toungue smiley here!).

salt101 · 06/04/2009 20:14

it's lovely that people are drawn to babies, and DS obviously loves the attention....but why touch?

can't people just chat/coo/smile?!!!

(now I'm being to sound like I have a phobia!!!)

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