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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Am I being unreasonable: I get annoyed when people think they can put their grubby hands in my pram and touch my DS!

134 replies

salt101 · 06/04/2009 19:46

Does this happy to anyone else? You are out/on the bus/walking in the park. Someone comes to chat or starts talking to DS, he smiles being the lovely sociable baby...and they stick their hands in/stroke his hand/touch his face/put his dummy in!!!

Has anyone said anything? It usually happens so fast, I'm not quick enough.....

anyone?

OP posts:
HaventSleptForAYear · 06/04/2009 20:14

5 mths old!!!

I was waiting to see how old your baby was and holding back from answering.

I am v. sad about this kind of attitude.

I would be so gutted if someone turned round and started frantically baby-wiping their baby because I touched him/her

To answer your question :

"would YOU want a complete stranger touching your face with a grubby hand?!!! "

  • Don't YOU touch all kinds of places other people's hands have been (hand rails, door knobs etc.) and then touch your face/baby???

Or do you spray bleach around the pram as you walk?

Am v. sad that I have also stopped asking for a cuddle with other people's babies, I wait for it to be offered, I was so flattered when anyone was interested in my babies...

noonki · 06/04/2009 20:15

that's why london always makes me depressed. What is wrong with you all.

pointydog · 06/04/2009 20:15

they touch because most people don't see anything wrong with it. But it's being drawn to our attention that some people do mind, so eventually everyone will stop touching.

HaventSleptForAYear · 06/04/2009 20:17

So what will you do when your darling PFB is an older brother to your newborn?

Will he not be able to touch his baby brother/sister either?

And will you be tearing your affectionate toddler off other people's babies or cooing "ahh isn't that cute, he loves babies"???

salome64 · 06/04/2009 20:17

Welcoming new babies into our world by touching/stroking them is an instinct so basic it would be sad to lose it. we live in such a fragmented society, why push away people who reach out to you and your dc? Its one of the few ways left we have to affirm our community - especially in places like London, where community is disappearing.

I found that when I was pregnant and people talked to me and touched my bump both a bit scary but actually rather lovely - a way of connecting to each other we have lost in other arenas.

screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:18
thisisyesterday · 06/04/2009 20:19

agree with haven'tslept

donb't have a problem at all with people touching my babies.

ilovesprouts · 06/04/2009 20:20

i lost count of how many times my son got touched cooed over etc and it never did him any harm

Original poster
salt101 · 06/04/2009 20:20

haven'tsleptforayear it's not so much about the grubby (although that doesn't help) and no, I don't go around spraying bleach everywhere...it's the contact, the physical action of invading a person's personal space...

Did you know that >60% of people walk around with traces of faeces/urine on their hands!!!???

why would anyone think it is ok to cuddle a complete stranger's baby?

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:21

noonki I am from London, and the rest of them are all a bunch of nobheads , except me

MrsMagooo · 06/04/2009 20:21

I don't mind the touching/stroking of cheeks/ruffling of hair etc - it's the kids/adults alike who stick their head in the pram & cough/sneeze all over DS that gets me

That & them using my pram as handrail/steadying device/zimmer frame on the train/bus!!

screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:23

i find it hard NOT to touch babies, and stroke children's hair (I am not weird, honestly)

Original poster
salt101 · 06/04/2009 20:24

I don't have a problem with children touching/kissing other children. Like I don't have a problem with adults doing what they like....For some reason, I'm just not a fan of strangers getting too close to my DS.

I think from your threads I should try to see the other side of it

OP posts:
screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:24

MrsMago Not those bloody old people, wanting to stay upright, honestly, the cheek of it

HecAteTheEasterBunny · 06/04/2009 20:25

Look, it's very common, very natural and many people do it and many people like to do it or are happy for it to be done. And that's ok!

You, and many others, don't like it, and that's ok too.

There is no right and wrong, only a right for you.

If you hate it, but you're not quick enough to stop it, you could always put a note across the pushchair ..."Do Not Touch My Baby"

Original poster
salt101 · 06/04/2009 20:27

LOL!
I'll do that...."don't touch my baby!!!"
if any of you are in London...you''ll know who I am!!

OP posts:
mummyloveslucy · 06/04/2009 20:27

I think people can be too obsessed with germs. My friend has OCD and is obsessed with cleaning and germs and everything has to be imaculate. Her two boys get every cough and cold going and one has severe exema.
My daughter has no regard for hygiene, although I try my best. She'll curl up with the dog in his basket although I hate this.
She is never ill though. My husband and I get all the bugs going around but she avoids most of it.

noonki · 06/04/2009 20:27

Screamingabdab...I'll look for you next time i'm down. I take it you'll be the one that doesn't flinch if I talk/smile/look at you on the tube!

screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:28

Hecate I agree

MrsMagooo · 06/04/2009 20:28

Abdab didn't say it was old people, people in general do ]bwink]

screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:29

noonki No, I'll come and chooch you on the cheek

MrsMagooo · 06/04/2009 20:29

Oo my easter bunny's gone all squify lol

noonki · 06/04/2009 20:30

...

screamingabdab · 06/04/2009 20:32

Magoo that's all right then!

I work with old people (or older people as they are known in the trade), and I do like to get on my high horse every now and again when the opportunity presents itself

Shambolic · 06/04/2009 20:33

salt101 here for you - a lot more people who agree with how you feel.

Personally I loved it when old ladies patted DD as it made them so happy. And of course DD loved the attention. Some old dears obviously wanted to pat and held back - I guess they had been told off before - and I found that really depressing.

Anyways a huge range of views on a massive thread for your enjoyment! Mostly full of people who share your squemishness...

(Good deed of the day )