To ask DH to bring a couple of bits of shopping home? (continued)

[chickenmama]

Starting a new thread for starsnstripes as the old one got to 1000 posts.

Hope everyone finds this ok

And hope you're doing ok stars x

Quick check in - Stars will try to post later, but is waiting for H to go to bed.

TTFN

A quick check in for me too ('tis HonkingAntelope). Hope that your day was uneventful and that you're still feeling positive.

Keep looking to the future Stars, you're doing brilliantly

Morning everyone.
Sorry did not get back on last night it was a bit awkward.

Children were up at 6.30 and H came into my room asking for the paracetamol as he had a blinding headache.
He said he did'nt expect much sympathy from me.
He is now downstaits doing the dishwasher.
I always wonder what he is up to when he is being nice and helpful.

fuzzywuzzy-thanks for sharing your experience.
I think I too am hanging on for any sign of change but it is way past that for me now.

thanks for checking up on me.

Stars - hes doing it as he feels that he is losing control and wants to regain it. I think that Fuzzywuzzy's post says it all really.

I'm so glad that you are thinking positively and are now thinking what it would be like to be in your own house

Will be thinking of you...

Morning Stars How are you??

I think Fuzzys post makes alot of sense!

hope you have a good day x

Morning stars! If you can't get enough safe time to post, maybe a quick email from time to time? Maybe we could also arrange a meet up for next week - ds wants to go to the museum so that would be great? Pick a day and i'll buy a carnation :-)

morning stars

Morning Stars. Fuzzy makes sense to me too. But she's also right about the fact that you need to be sure for your own sake. Hope it all comes together for you soon. Stay strong, brave woman.

Friend I met recently told me yesterday that she had been in a long marriage with an alcoholic and it was pretty much how it is with you. She left him nearly 2 years ago, has settled with her 2 kids here, has made some really fab friends, and though it was hard for her to make the decision and then to carry it out, she is absolutely 100% certain that she did the right thing. She is now settled, happy, living her life how she wants and not walking on eggshells all the time.

Hang on to your resolve. You will be happy and so will your children.

Evening stars - just checking to see you're OK. Hoping that "radio silence" is good....

You OK Stars?

Hi everyone ,am fine .
Been in bed most of the day sleeping ,think I am coming down with something.

Feeling a bit down today as everything seems to have come to a standstill.

dreadpirate-have e mailed you

Stars - have replied

Pecker up - everything stops for school holidays, but they do come to an end eventually

Sometimes when I've been really stressed for a while I have a day when I can't get out of bed. As if my body and brain just shut down.

I think that you are having a physical reaction to your new state of mind.

After all those years of stress you know that its almost over and your body is just taking a long overdue rest. I bet you don't sleep properly most of the time due to anxiety so catch up while you can!

Also, when you say you feel bad planning to leave because he is being nice.

Personally I think you should not feel bad - part of your anxiety comes from never knowing when he will be home or what mood he will be in.

Drunk, aggressive, nasty, or nice. They are all just his moods. If you spend your life on eggshells because of his moods and behaviour, then you have to look on him being nice as just another mood that keeps you anxious.

Nothing has come to a standstill, you have made your decision but can't do anything about it at for a few days at least because he is under your feet.

Looking around the house and not bothering about whether you'll miss it or not is a good sign.

(dreadpirate, have you still got that full tank of diesel )

Oh wow. Just caught up with the whole thread. Stars - go for it girl! You know what's right for you & your dc.

Flibberty - "If you spend your life on eggshells because of his moods and behaviour, then you have to look on him being nice as just another mood that keeps you anxious."

Well said me dear! And yes, still got the full tank

Stars I hope you feel ok tomorrow. The holiday will soon be over and DH will be back at work and then you can continue with your plan.

Yes thats me speaking from my own shite experience again

I recall that the 'nice' days were the worst because I'd be on double eggshells waiting for him to flip over some silly thing. At least when he'd already flipped or was being a twat I knew where i was.

Flibberty -

Hi Stars. Sorry to hear that you're not feeling too well.

When do you get to go for your housing appointment? Maybe if we have a countdown it'll help keep you motivated?

You hang in there, we're here if you need us.

Hope you're feeling better this morning, still thinking of you - I'd have posted yesterday but for some reason I couldn't get onto MN?

Anyway, fingers crossed you have a better day today

Hope you are feeling better this morning stars?

Flibberty-I know exactly what you are saying.
Even in the quiet times am still anxious waiting for the next chnage in mood.

You give me hope for the future.

Have a busy week from the 20th.
Doctors,solicitors,council and for my son paediatrician and speech therapist.

Am feeling a bit better today although was awake at 4am.

H has just got back from going to get me a newspaper that I dared ask for.
He is now complaining that whilst he was out queueing up on a busy bank holiday weekend I could at least have been tidying up whilst he was gone.
He reckons the house is a mess and I have given up, any fool can see that.
He said it is my sick way of getting back at him.
Because I dared to be ill yesterday he had to point out that I did'nt lift a finger yesterday ethier.

He is currently frantically going round the house criticizing things that need doing and qustioning why I have'nt bought any bleach as we don't have any.

Normal service has resumed then Stars.

How do you feel now his behaviour this morning has confirmed you ARE doing the right thing in leaving? Is it helping to harden your heart a little bit more?

My heart is bleeding for the poor little diddums having to queue up for a newspaper for his wife ON A BANK HOLIDAY WEEKEND!!!! He must sit and rest now for the rest of his time off, after all, YOUR life is just one long holiday isn't it?

Just think to yourself, when he's ranting, that pretty soon, he will be responsible for his own bleach buying and general household chores. You will have a house that you can keep just how you like it, and will not have to listen to this crap anymore.

checks no one's looking ((((hugs))))